How to Get by with Long Distance Affair

Philippines
May 27, 2007 1:18am CST
I have an almost 4 year relationship with my seaman boyfriend. His work always makes us away from each other since his ship's trip is going Mexico and US while I'm here in the Philippines. Although we are far from each other, we bridge the gap with long distance calls, emails, text messages etc. Our love is getting stronger despite the distance so I wonder why others can't get by...Maybe they are not really in love at the first place. The most important thing I think is a strong foundation. If lovers don't have this, their relationship will surely weaken in a slight problem...what do you think? Aside from communication, what else should be done for a long distance relationship to get by? Do you believe that cheating may happen?
2 people like this
14 responses
@Malfred (134)
• Philippines
27 May 07
i do believe you have to put the word "TRUST" on it. more than communication, i do believe you have to trust and believe on him (or Faith). and on cheating im adding the word HOPE, hoping she/he won't cheat on you. --adding those brick to your foundation make your wall stable enough, so no one can shatter the building of your love.
@nurhoney (1123)
• Philippines
27 May 07
so far, my long distance relationship with my hubby is going stronger. we meet in the net and we are still apart from each other since he is in hawaii and iam in philippines. we didnt make the distance as the hendrance to make our relationship work. the constant communications and resperct for each other is very important in a LDR. The lovers should want the relationship to work coz it needs both of them to really care abou the relationship and make it through. It cant be avoided that their are temptations but as long as a person respects his other half, it wouldnt be a problem.
2 people like this
@JcHitomi (101)
• Nepal
28 May 07
I believe that long distance relationship may work to others but certainly not with me. Ive tried this relationship before and things didnt work out. Although I love him so much but I guess that love wasnt enough to keep our relationship last long and survive. I really want to be my lover to be my side so that whenever things got wrong he will always be there to me, although Im capable of solving my problems alone but theres nothing difference if the presence of your love ones is there. Presence and time are very much important for me in a relationship, it makes me inspire to live and go through life with the people around me. I guess Im selfish bec. I really love to feel so loved thats why it makes me so happy if I can see my love one everyday. Yeah theres always possibility in cheating cause cheating is a form of temptation, and even sometimes temptation is hard to resist but as long that theirs big trust, foundation and very much love it could always be defeated.
1 person likes this
@Katali (63)
• United States
27 May 07
I believe there are a few elements that maintain a long-distance relationship where no one cheats. One is trust. One is genuine commitment. One is respect, as well as genuine love for the other. But, a deciding factor may be how an individual reacts in the face of adversity. If, in general, a person doesn't handle adversity well, they may tend to seek comfort in a variety of ways, including turning to another. I've had time and distance between myself and someone I've loved before and it didn't cause me to want to cheat. They were still as close to me as if they were in my presence. jestiny, I do believe that a solid foundation is one of the keys. If the foundation is shaky, the house can easily fall. Good communication is also a key.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 May 07
I think it is harder to have a long distance relationship but not impossible! If you really love that person and both are willing to keep a strong foundation then I believe that it will work! There are a alot of long distance relationships, but they dont take them seriously and then the cheating role comes into play. Cheating all depends on the person too. Some people in my eyes can't be alone all that time and phone calls are not enough, they need a human touch to keep them going. I believe that cheating is something you do when you are not getting what you want out of a relationship so you go else where to find what you need. So thats my take on this topic!
1 person likes this
@4cuteboys (4102)
• United States
27 May 07
My husband left for Saudi yesterday and just got there. We have text messaged a few times throughout the last day. So far so good, I get sad about it, but I know we'll make it. It's only 6 months, but even if it was longer we'd make it. I think we have a strong relationship. Cheating can happen, even if your loved one is living with you, so I don't imagine it makes too much of a difference if you have a good relationship I would imagine that wouldn't be too likely to happen.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 May 07
How romantic! I always thought it would be so hard to keep a long distance relationship. I am so happy to hear that one couple has made it work. Of course a strong foundation is key. Without mutual love and common interests you simply run out of things to talk about. But, I have wondered how couples keep the romantic spark alive when they are seperated so long. Yes there are temptations I am sure, for both people. Certainly that is something to be concerned about. But, if two people really love each other, and share a committment as it sounds like you do, then there should be no reason to fear that he will cheat. If his heart belongs to you, then noone can steal it.
@jogie_bien (1103)
• Philippines
27 May 07
i have lnf distance relationship to, and i believe that the important is that have TRUST to each other because if no trust especially its too far to each other its the caused of jealousy.And when have jealous from partner its the cause to give up the relatinship.
1 person likes this
@meljessxena (2317)
• Australia
27 May 07
long distance relationships are very difficult, i think cheating happens when the love isnt enough in the relationship, thats usually the cause of a break up when cheating happens. trust, honesty and communication are the most important parts to a long distance relationship but they are also important in any relationship
1 person likes this
@vani24 (783)
• India
27 May 07
The one thing which should be there between two of them to make the relation longlasting is TRUST.....If that is there nothing can come and harm you in any way.... all the best for the rest of your life... Thanks, Vani.
1 person likes this
@acmepride (1547)
• United States
27 May 07
First, I would like to express my deepest admiration to both of you for being able to make your love endure, given such a relationship. I fully agree with you that a long distance relationship could work but as the oft-used adage goes, it takes two to tango. The constant effort to make the relationship work well depends on both individuals in a relationship, since if only one is exerting effort to sustain the relationship, such relationship is not anymore a mutual one, but perhaps commensal, if not parasitic, which could perhaps inevitably lead to the deterioration, if not destruction, of such relationship I likewise agree that if a relationship has a very strong foundation, any storm that may come its way will not be enough to topple or destroy it. A strong foundation, I believe, is one that is founded on mutual trust, respect, constant communication, and true love. Undoubtedly, mutual trust is indispensable in any relationship, much more, I feel, in a long distance one, since without it, minor things could be blown out of proportion, which could even lead to an immediate breakup. Mutual respect is likewise of great import for a relationship, especially a long distance one, to thrive. It may be true that partners in a loving relationship have many similarities, but it does not necessarily mean that they are all similar in every conceivable way, since such relationship is still made of two distinct individuals who have different personal backgrounds, various sets of beliefs, and manageable differences. For a relationship to have a strong foundation and, thus, work, distinct individuals who decided to enter into a relationship should learn how to accept and respect each other's differences. Constant communication is also very vital in any relationship, be it long distance or not, since it is one of the most important means how one expresses his or her love to the other. It should be used to always assure each other that they will be there for each other through the good times and the bad. The integral role of true love, of course, for a relationship to have a strong foundation, need not be explained anymore, since it's perhaps already a given. Clearly, thus, a relationship with a strong foundation, which is essentially based on trust, respect, and true love, really seems to be impregnable, if not indestructible. In regard cheating, I feel that it may indeed happen, but if your relationship has a strong foundation, the likelihood of such is perhaps very slim, if not totally nil. Ultimately, a long distance relationship could truly work. It serves as a test of the kind of love individuals in such a relationship have for each other. If you could conquer seemingly insurmountable difficulties when you're apart, what more could you conquer once you're back together in each other's arms?
1 person likes this
@Greyh22 (110)
• Philippines
27 May 07
I believe that long distance relationship works. If you really love each other, you can get by. There are times when you feel kinda sad and lonely. You want your love to be there and comfort you. But that's too selfish if you only consider your part. The right time will come that you'll be together at last. I know how you feel. I'll be leaving the one I love this coming 2008. I know it's hard for both of us but He loves me so much, and I love him. I know it will be alright even if I'll be away because the trust, the bond, and the love is there. If you're so much in love with each other, you won't think of any way to separate. I don't believe that cheating may happen, because as long as you feel the love in your relationship, you won't think about it, because if you do, that means you are not satisfied with him and you're just craving for a short time partner to be with you. But the truth is, you'll never find someone to replace him. =) it's good that you can hold on. I salute you. =) goodluck.
@beauty_ph (2751)
• Philippines
27 May 07
Hi I want to give you a warm welcome here in mylot. Hpe you continue helping others thru participating! God bless!
@beauty_ph (2751)
• Philippines
27 May 07
I too had a 3 years long distance relationship with a boyfriend who is a seaman too. We broke-up because of our priorities in life. Two years ago, I decided to split with my boyfriend because I have priorities to attend to and I wanted him to give a chance to know his destiny. During our relationship, we were able to surpass tials and problems but we were both loyal according to my knowledge. I guess keep a long distance relationship to me was not a problem. Right now there are several means of communications we can use inorder to make the communication open. I believe it is a commitment between lovers to keep relationships no matter how far apart they are or how near. Love is evident when there is care, trust, respect and honesty. Cheating can happen, because everything on earth is possible. Trust and faith is our only way to continue praying that we can achieve a successful and great relationship.