Have you ever loaned someone money and have a hard time getting it back?

Dollar sign -  A symbol of cash value
United States
May 27, 2007 7:05pm CST
Boy oh boy let me say, some people have a lot of nerve they will come with a sad story and borrow money because they know you are a soft touch and when they get back on their feet you will see them buying new accessories and trinkets and living better than you and they still have not paid you back. That really burns me up but my mom always told me never lend anything you can't afford to give away. Have you ever experienced that? Watching them go out to dinner while you open can of tuna? Or see them go away on vacation while you are stuck going to the park down the street? Or see them in their new kicks while you go to the shoemaker? That burns me up.
9 people like this
42 responses
@webeishere (36353)
• United States
30 May 07
i LOANED MY 27 YEAR OLD SON $400 FOR RENT AND FOOD AND BILLS. hE STATED HE'D PAY ME BACK $100 A WEEK. nOW THE FIRST WEEK i GOT $30 ONLY. tHEN THIS WEEKEND HE CALLS SAYING HE HAS A $140 CHECK FOR ME. tHEN CAME THE TIME TO GET IT HE NEEDED MONEY FOR FOOD ETC SO i GOT ONLY $100. iM WONDERING HOW LONG THIS 4 WEEK LOAN WILL TAKE TO GET BACK. hAHAHA
• India
31 May 07
What's his name?
• United States
28 May 07
I've loaned money off and on to a 'friend' that never lifted a finger really to try and earn some extra money. Her parents work but don't bring in a lot for their family, and she'd always end up having about $20 or $30 a week to spend on food and other things she may want. I got about $20 and made that last a month or more. She'd spend it all in one day and then would need a couple of dollars for certain items. Sometimes I'd get it back, other times I wouldn't. I was always told I'd get paid back but I never did. She always bought clothes and CD's and DVD's, while I spent money on school stuff and what I really needed. I'd occasional buy food items for the room as the cafe doesn't really provide us with great food, but she'd go overboard with everything. I got to the point where I stopped loaning her money, by telling her I had stuff I had to save for, especially when I start pulling in some extra money for freelancing and what not. I told her I never had enough and that I couldn't give her anymore because a few dollars here and there really would start to add up. I just gave up on trying to get it back. I learned my lesson, I'm not going to loan money to people anymore unless I can be sure that it'll get paid back if I expect it too. Some people can be trusted, but other's just can't. I just have to watch the spending habits of people I loan money to from now on and know who I can loan it to and who I can't.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 May 07
Good practice but you can always get them to sign an agreement if they have a job you can sue in small claims court
• India
28 May 07
No actually I have never loaned money to anyone whose refused to pay back.I have only lended money to some of my close friends.But my father once lended a big some to one of our relatives to invest in a business.The business didn't work and we had a tough time to get the money back.He refused to pay it back when we needed it despeartely ourselves.At the end we managed to get back only the original sum in installments and no interest as promised by him!
1 person likes this
• United States
28 May 07
Those are the cases that should go to court fair is fair and that burns me up when you trust someone and they leave you in a lurch
@tina12679 (1126)
• United States
28 May 07
I have been here too. In fact it has been about 7 years now and i know a person that owes me about 700 bucks but i will never see it. It wasnt all a loan more or less, 200 of it was an acual cash loan and the 500 was to put tires on a truck that i was to buy from this person and then magically after it had new tires they werent selling it any more so i said fine but i want the money for the tires. I am not so sure how well off they are as to might just be borrowing more from other people but i know that there are things that my children would like to have like a trampoline or a pool that 700 could definitly take care of. But i have pretty much written it off as another stupid mistake and take it all in stride.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 May 07
that's a shame next time if you don't wait too long like about a year you can sue them for it. it's a shame we have to think like businesses but if we don't we lose.
@urbangirl (1461)
• Australia
28 May 07
I did to a "friend" - $5000 - for a business - but we drew up a contract with a solicitor and there was a condition in there that when she received some money owing to her it would go directly to me. This "friend" changed their tune after I lent the money and basically I had to use the leverage of her fear about her reputation with the new business she was opening to get it back. It was such alot of energy expended in getting the money back that needless to say it ruined our "friendship". It was money I could afford to lose BUT her attitude made me pursue it because I could not let her get away with it. I also warned her business partner that he was being strung along and basically he abandoned the business. Long story but it started off an unfortunate chain of events for her. She soon lost out and doesn't have the business anymore. Serves her right for messing with me ;-)
• China
28 May 07
i have a same experience,my "friend" borrowed 2000 dollars from my two years ago.i can't get them back now.i am afraid our friendship will end when i get the money.
• United States
28 May 07
Well honestly if that was the attitude then that was a friend you could do without and you could sue in small claims court for up to 5000. He who loses last loses most.
@urbangirl (1461)
• Australia
28 May 07
Oh, I got the money back alright, and she lost out a lot more. It just made me see her for what she really was. None of my other friends have ever asked me for money. Now, lending someone $50 or buying them a meal for me, is nothing.
@BrainTeaser (1430)
• Pakistan
28 May 07
I have loaned to plenty and usually i never get back anything perhaps its because on my part as usually once given i don't ask anyone to return that money or thing to me.So i will definitely no say that its their fault as its a fault on my part.
• United States
28 May 07
No I would not say that because when they take it they agree to give it back or to repay it and then they play on your character by acting like they forgot knowing that you won't ask for it back. Even the law allows for a reasonable time to pay back that's why the civil courts are so full. They need to take responsibility for their action but you know all you have to do is make then sign an agreement and that will stop.
• Pakistan
28 May 07
Well than there is the friendship part ,if you have given loan to a friend just don't expect to get it back,atleast i think it takes some sacrifice to be a good friend.
@lilaclady (28238)
• Australia
28 May 07
Oh you sound like me talking, I do this all the time, I never learn, I just find it hard watching my friends in need, if I have a little spare at the time I will help them every time and some times I think I shouldn't have done that because I go without when I want something, they don't, I come in here and make a little extra to save up in my Paypal to buy muself a treat, they wouldn't think about doing this so why do I do it...but I never learn, I guess I am just weak...
• United States
28 May 07
No not weak but compassionate and people take kindness for weakness but I find that it will come back to you some other way but it is a hurtful process to know they owe you and just dismiss whatever problems you may be having.
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28238)
• Australia
28 May 07
Its nice to know someome understands...
@tinam13 (840)
• United States
28 May 07
yea, and its the hardest thing to try and get it back. it feels like it takes forever and all u do is bring it up so they can pay u back, and when u need it for urself, u dont have it and they finally pay u back when it feels like u dont even need it. it feels funny being paid back after forever because u never thought ud get it back.
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
28 May 07
well, luckier if you can get it back after sometime. there are moments when you really can't get them back anymore. people reason out why they don't have the money to pay you yet. and they never ran out of reasons at all.
@crickethear (1420)
• United States
28 May 07
I don't loan money to anyone. LOL, I don't have money to give or loan. If however, I did, then yes, I would just give it to them. Loaning money can wind up ending friendships. The saying, "never loan money to a friend" is wise. I haven't seen it, but I sure have witnessed it. I would just ive it to them, and say forget paying me back. I know that at work often times someone needs money for lunch, and they will say, I will pay it back, and I tell them to forget it. They usually do pay it back, but if they don't that is ok with me.
• United States
28 May 07
That's good when you can afford it but when you sacrifice your needs for someone else it really hurts.
@JcHitomi (101)
• Nepal
28 May 07
Of course I'll be pissed off or worst I will tell that person to pay what she/he lends to me... hehehehe I guess by seeing that way I will surely tell him/her straight that I think its about time to pay those things he just owe.
• United States
28 May 07
People like that keep a sob story on reserve to make you feel guilty for asking for what's rightfully yours.
• Malaysia
28 May 07
When I was in secondary school, I lent my classmate RM10 because he needed to buy something. After that, whenever I asked him about it, he would just say 'ya, ya right'. That really frustrated me. After asking him about 3 times and getting the same response, I decided not to ask him again. Whether he wanted to return the money or not, that's fine with me. Until now, he hasn't returned the money yet.
• United States
28 May 07
that's a bad way for people to treat people who help them out but he will remember one day you'll see.
• United States
28 May 07
Yes and can you believe it I loaned money to my daughter. I have always taught her to pay me back. Now she is married and busy with working full time and taking care of her in-laws she has not paid me back. I loaned her 1300 dollars. I asked her to at least make payments she did she gave me tow payments of 50 buscks and that is all. I think it is a lost cause, I will never see it again and I will never give her money again.
• United States
28 May 07
That's the bad part she's your daughter but small claims takes cases up to 5000 good luck
@tsparkle (12)
• United States
28 May 07
I know the feeling all too well. I've loaned money to relatives so they could pay their bills, but they would use it to go to the movies, or they would buy something for themselves, when I could have used it to pay my bills, and that made me mad. I decided to start saying NO.
• United States
28 May 07
Well that was smart or you could lend it with an agreement and pursue in small claims court.
@mrbranan (1012)
• United States
28 May 07
I know what you mean. About a year and a half ago my husbands brother and wife needed to move in with us. He had gotten really sick and had to quit his job. She was still working but not making enough to pay thier bills. We talked about it and decided that we had the room and if they paid half we could save more ourselves. After they had been there about 4 months she lost her job and we were completly supporting them. After he started back to work about six months later he started helping with the bills and now they are doing fine but do you think they offered to pay us back anything. NO.
• United States
28 May 07
Oh how soon people forget to look back at how they got where they are but the same folks they meet on the way up are the ones they meet on the way down.
@PunkyMcPunk (1477)
• Canada
28 May 07
I will usually never lend money. I give it away freely. I don't ever expect to get it back. If someone does pay me back it is a nice suprise. I have no issue with helping someone out. I think it is all part of being a good person to give and help each other out. I know I get taken advantage of a lot but in my own mind and heart it makes me feel good to be able to share and help out. I might be giving them money but what is money anyways but a sheet of paper or hunk of metal. I get the satisfaction in my heart, mind, and soul that I have done good. So in the end I think I get more out of it anyways. I also think that the things we do come back to us twofold. Karma and all, yeah know?
• United States
28 May 07
I believe that too but if I know someone is in a bad situation it's my money and my discretion to say just keep it. Some people blatantly waste their money and come to you and unless I'm short at the time and they bring it back I usually say keep it. Or if they come and say something to me like I did not forget it's just that things are tight the I say it's ok but the decision should be mine not theirs.
• United States
28 May 07
Yes, I loaned money to a friend, and never got it back .. it definitely pisses you off, and I can't believe the nerve of people ..
• United States
28 May 07
You've got that right they take your money and then take their time paying it back like you don't have needs as well.
@321633wy (1795)
• United States
31 May 07
Yes,at one time i had loaned money to my friend because she wanted to pay for her debt interest.She promised will pay me back after a month,but i didn't hear from her at all.When i called her she told me she is now in difficulty and unable to pay me back.Then,i just told her to pay me whenever she is convenience but until now almost 6 years i still havent got my money back yet...Enentualy i decided to move on and not to worry about it.
@aamoore (61)
• United States
31 May 07
This has happened to me in the past, but I just move on. There is always tomorrow. If he/she is in genuine need then I would assist where I can, but I would NOT make it a habit, especially when this is being abused. It may hurt a little, but what goes around always comes around and also I do not associate myself with losers.
@magnet (2087)
• United States
30 May 07
I have, it wasn't much but still if someone tell me they want to borrow it, it means that they are going to pay you back. That's why I don't loan money anymore. I would rather give the money than loan it, that way I don't have the risk of falling out with anyone over that issue.If the person gets mad at me for not loaning the money. I would say I don't owe you git, I'm not a bank.
@hora_fugit (5430)
• India
30 May 07
I am a shy person, without any doubt. But money is different. Usually I lend in my friend circle only that too a small amount. Only twice did I lend a large sum... first time I was cheated by a mindless classmate of mine. He borrowed from me and gave to someone else. As I indicated, he was unable to retrieve it back. Finally I took matters in my hand and just demanded my money back from this stylish guy. He said "oh, your bucks!!" and returned it. Success!! Second time, a lousy boy came to me almost weeping. "I need money, for the journey. I have none." He was returning home and though I hated him (I think so) I gave some money to him. I too had to return in two days... two days I ate nothing for I didn't have money now. Unfortunately our college changed. Anyhow, we met in new college and I demanded my money back. He didn't have. All my anger burst on him, but alas!! I left that college later. You know next time we meet, what will be my first question :) don't you?