How can a son/daughter hate her/his mother?

India
May 28, 2007 8:47am CST
I love my mother very much and i can't think of any person hating their mother.But today i met someone who hates her mother very much . However a mother be , how can it be possible to hate her ? A mother without whom you wouldn't have been born? I am a mother myself . How is the relationship with your mother?
8 people like this
23 responses
@lillake (1634)
• United States
28 May 07
Mothers are human, and therefore some make horrible choices that harm their children very much. A mother who abuses her child is not immune from hatred simply because she once gave birth.
2 people like this
• United States
29 May 07
I wish I could give you 10 + rating for being succinct and so right.
1 person likes this
• India
29 May 07
maybe you are right...maybe there are mothers who abuses her child...but it is such a rare case...i think i'll love my mother always , no matter what she does to me
• Canada
28 May 07
I love my mother very much but we don't get along all the well when we are together too much as we are two completely different people and have a different way of looking at things and this tend to lead to arguemnents . Although I love my mother very much I can understand why a child might not care for his or her own parent . We try to do the best with our children but not everyone out there is like that there are parents who are cruel to their children and really don't care about them and you can understand when you hear stories from others why they don't care for the people who brought them into this world . Not everyone had a great growing up experience and your heart has to break for all of those that have had a rough time of it and now have to make it on their own ,never having had anyone to care for them when they were younger .
1 person likes this
• China
29 May 07
I think, as sons/daugters, we have to understand that our parents are independent persons. They love us, care for us with their hearts. But they also have their free space, they need our more understanding. Most of the unhappy is caused our selfish action, although it is unavoidable. But allof us wish our parents happy, how to make it? Sometimes we need to sacrifice our personal benifit. The most important, our parents always think so and sacrifice for us. Don't you think so?
@devilsangel (1817)
• United States
29 May 07
Just because you give birth to a child doesn't make you a mother, just like just because you got a woman pregnant doesn't make you a father. I despise my birth mother and frankly the only good thing she's ever done as far as being a mom is giving birth, outside of that she hasn't done anything to be called a mother or to be given the respect of a mother. My adoptive mom on the other hand is a great woman and I love her more than anything in the world. No she didn't give birth to me but she gave me everything else. So I can understand greatly how someone can hate their mother. Just because you have a child doesn't make you a parent or a mother/father. Its how you treat that child that makes you those things.
1 person likes this
29 May 07
as for me i dont hate my mum, i feel sorry for her. my grandparents brought me up until i was 8 years old because my mum had me at a very young age. she wasnt ready to be a parents. when i started living with her i didnt enjoy it because we never had that mother and daughter relationship, she was more jelious of me and always abused me verbally. when i got married she never attended because she didnt approve of my marriage. i guess i was looking for the love i never had with my mum else were. i have two kids and my mum made my marriage life hell for 6 years that i was married, now am divorced she pretends to be by my side and takes her grandkids as gold, but behind our back she talks bad about me and my kids without knowing that i know what she is all about...she has brought me great pain but at the end of the day without her i wouldnt be in this world... so i feel sorry for her and i dont have a close relationship with her so that i dont get hurt again. but me beeing a mother i give everything to my kids, the greatest love of all.
• India
29 May 07
Thanks for yor response
• Philippines
29 May 07
i really love my mother. she makes me happy always and gives all the support all i need. i think those guys who hate their mother because of the strictness of their mother, but they dont understand how their mother work and sacrifice a lot of things just to make them happy,,,,, show them you loved them, because time will come and GO the work i love you dont really mean to us teenagers, but to our mom, that will bring them to tears of happiness, i luv u ma!!!!! =)
• India
29 May 07
u r right ....thanks for the response
@tonixxx (358)
28 May 07
I can see this from both sides of the arguement, however i do not think that children are obliged to love theirr parents. As a baby you are in no debt to your mother you did not ask to be born she chose to have you. I do not see my mother and so neither love her or hate her, i don't know her, but all of my rational tells me that i do not owe her love or respect and she will never have these two things from me. She chose to give birth to me and she chose to leave, i had no say in either of these motions, i can not understand how a mother could leave her babies but these things happen. So i don't think it is as simp-le as this is your mother and you are meant to love her, it is the things that mothers do that earns them love and respect.
• India
29 May 07
i can understand how you'll be feeling...thanks for your response
@amydawn11 (906)
• Canada
28 May 07
I have a good relationship with my mom and I love her with all my heart. In other situations though there is usally a good reason why someone would hate a parent, maybe they were absuive to the child, maybe they neglected them, maybe they weren't there. There are so many reasons why a child could grow up to hate a parent. It is sad because it is usually because that parent was not a good parent in one way or another. My mom made mistakes with us but everyone does and I love her regardless, I have made mistakes with my daughter but we all still love each other. So what I am saying is that it usually takes a lot to hate someone, it doesn't just happen like that, it happens over time.Sometimes people make too many mistakes and never learn from any of them and they continue to hurt people they love and in the end having a child that hates them. It is sad but i don't think the child can ever be to blame.
• India
29 May 07
thanks for your response
@barnkinney (1343)
• Philippines
29 May 07
maybe if the mother managed to ruin the life of the son or the daughter. i'm not sure how, though... - barn kinney http://barncogitations.blogdrive.com/ http://barncogitations.blogspot.com/
• China
29 May 07
As a doughter, I cann't imagine a daughter/son hate her/his mother.Mother is a the best loving people to most people except the mother has certain inexcusably mistake!
@Cassy1976 (796)
• Australia
29 May 07
Sometimes mothers can be really cruel to their children and that is why they hate them, yeah without their mother they wouldnt have been born but not all mothers are good mums! Some can be pretty rotten, there would have to be some sort of reason behind her hate for her mother
• Philippines
29 May 07
The only way to hate anyone, mother, father or whoever else is to always see the negative in the person. Even the worst criminal in the world may have something good in him or her. One may not like what the criminal did and should not be imitated. By choice one could also avoid that person, yet why hate? Avoid maybe, and if directly affected by the crime, justice may and will always be served in the end. In the case of a parent, one should proactively look for the good in the parent, forgive any transgressions, learn to love, and experience deep understanding for him or her. Remember without our parents, we would not have even be born into this earth and IF ONE DOES GOOD ONE GETS GOOD BACK, IF ONE DOES EVIL, THEN ONE GETS BACK EVIL A THOUSANDFOLD. I don't care what your religion is or even if one has a religion. What matters is that at the end of our life if one had done mostly good, then you will be justly rewarded.
@Bujoyseth (1684)
• Philippines
29 May 07
i never hated my mother and will never ever hate her. i love her so much... I LOVE YOU MOM!
@navtech (1776)
• India
29 May 07
We all broters and sisters love our parents. We take care of them. In one incident when I was travelling in a train I was talking to the co-passenger along with him his sister was also there. After sometime I found both sister and brother hate their father and mother beyond my imagination. That made me to found out what is the cause of their hating their father and mother. They told me that though their father and mother were rich they refused finance them for higher education as their parents spending money for various trival things to keep up their image in the society. This fact slowly made them, in due course, to hate their parents. I questioned them what was the reason for their parents refusing to finance for their higher education. Both of them replied, according to their parents, you are now 18 years old and you should earn money and give to us, instead you are asking us to finance your education?. I am unable understand the full meaning of their reply. You said that your parents were rich then why did they ask for your earning. That is what we are all wondering. What is cause? We do not know. Even our friends and relatives requested my father and mother to consider our request for higher education but they are adamant and asked us to leave the house for bringing bad name to them by informing our frinds and relatives. Therefore, my one of the relatives, agreed to provide finance for our higher education. We are now going to their place, leaving our parents. Here many questions remain unanswered for their hatred for their parents but I found both sister and brother were cursing their parents. Ultimately I give up because for a simple reason referred above might not be cause of their hating their parents, there should be more than what they said to me.
• United States
29 May 07
My relationship with my mother isnt a very good one, she brought that all on herself. She held it against me for my father leaving since the day i was born, She would physically, mentally, and emotionally abuse me every chance she could. She always thought of herself first when it came down to bringing men into the household. They usually were abusive with me, and her and she never tried to stop it. She ment a man, whom raped and molested me for three years, with her knowing it and not doing anything to stop it. She even walked in on him, seen what he was doing, shut the door went in the living room, turned on the tv, and then yelled at me saying " that is my boyfriend, you little h*e.." i was ten at the time. She will say she never let these things happen to me, that i am a no good little b*tch, I have been in counsling since i was 13 years old. im now 25, i moved in with my father at the age of 13 she completley disowned me, she didnt call on holidays, birthdays, nothing. not even to say hi. I didnt talk to her for 5 years. Then she wanted to make amends, told me she was sorry, even though she was married to this man at the time. She would be all happy with me if i was bending over backwards for her, but as soon as i would stop, im no good. in and out for 7 years, finally this past year i told her i couldnt take it no more, im tired of her using me, walking all over me, and talking about my life behind my back. Thats not how a mother works, i havent talked to her going on 4 months and it feels wonderful to have her and her drama out of my life. Do you think i should hate my mother? I do.
@toe_ster (771)
• United States
29 May 07
A mother child relationship can get so complicated sometimes. I myself didn't so much 'hate' my mother as have a very strong dislike for her. She spent more time, focus and energy on my siblings. Iwas the often forgotten child. Any time I brought this up we would get in massive fights. I resented so many things about her. It was a hard relationship. Just these past few months I was able to finally get my mother to see what I saw and felt growing up. We have a better relationship now, but it has taken years. I can see how one can hate a mother. Not all mothers are good ones. Just because you give birth does not make you a mother. Some mothers abuse their children or neglect them or put hardships on them. Some resent their kids and blame them for shortcomings. It is true that we wouldn't have been born, but at times it could feel like you wish you weren't.
@meljessxena (2317)
• Australia
29 May 07
i love my mother heaps, i moved out and i ring her everyday but i have had to move home and my parents care for me really good. i guess some people have their reasons to hate their mother "abonding them etc etc:" i guess its how you have been brought up and treated to how to love someone
• India
29 May 07
he he he...even i hate my mother...it depaends ont eh situaion theya are in..and wat circumstances ....in my case i dont love my father either....
• India
29 May 07
i alwayz help ma mother coz she is not well.and she is very happy with me.she always pray for me and thats enough for me
@naty1941 (2336)
• United States
29 May 07
If a mother has been abusive, or neglectful the child can learn to hate her. There are many women that are not made to be a parent as they find their children to be a bother in their lives and treat them badly. I understand why a child will grow up hating his/her mother.
• United States
29 May 07
I don't hate my mother but she has done alot of things that I don't like her very much for.I don't want to go into details but she has caused me alot problems in the past.