parents working overseas- are their kids going bad?

@JanMags (726)
Philippines
May 28, 2007 9:05am CST
Hello everyone. I have cousins whose mother has been working abroad for the past decade or so. I don't think they've seen their mother in the span of time that she's been gone. So far, other people and other relatives have been complaining about how bad they've become. They are rarely at home, prefering to party out all day and night. They are also disrespectful and do not like to help or be with other relatives. Do you think that kids of parents who work overseas develop problems in their personalities? Do you think kids should grow up with their parents around?
2 people like this
7 responses
@psyche49f (2512)
• Philippines
29 May 07
That's really sad...that's the price of absentee parents, especially the mother. I have seen children of absentee parents who are doing well with their studies, with their relationship with relatives, etc. This is one case that supports the idea that absentee parents produce bad children. I just hope that your cousins will do better once their mother comes home, but I doubt if there will be significant changes in their behaviors if any, because once a habit, is always a habit. Let's just pray for a happy ending for your cousins...
@JanMags (726)
• Philippines
30 May 07
Thank you for your thoughts and the prayers psyche. Yes, I also think that it might be too late to try and help them change. I was thinking maybe they would come to their senses when they become parents too.
@rossman (70)
• Philippines
29 May 07
i think not all, bec. some children understand and appreciated the sacrifices of their parents who work abroad for their needs and wants.the more that they will show respect, love and should be thankful in return for giving them a comfortable life. it's true that its really happening here in Phils. that some of the children whose parents working abroad are going bad, maybe bec. of many factors to be considered, like environment, influences from peers. the guardian must be blamed esp. if they are hiding of what's going on with the attitude of the child. just like the movie 'anak' by Vilma Santos and Claudine Barreto. the daughter realized at the end that her mother was doing her best, sacrificing/working as a domestic helper abroad to earn money for their food, education ...what d daughter did is having fun, vices and many boyfriends....she did not respect her mother and thank her ....after a tragic event ....she realized at the end that she had a very responsible and loving mother....... a very good lessons to all children..........
1 person likes this
@JanMags (726)
• Philippines
30 May 07
A great example. I haven't seen the movie yet but maybe I should check it out. Thanks for the great response.
@rusty2rusty (6751)
• Defiance, Ohio
28 May 07
I think children should grow up with their parents. But sometimes that is impossible. Just because children are raised by someone else. It does mean they will turn our bad. Or the parent is a bad parent or should be blamed how they turned out. I do not think childrens whose parents work over seas are anymore different than with ones that have them around. I think whomever is the childrens gaurdians or caregivers are the ones at fault here. They are the one who is in charge of raising and supervising these children. So if they start to run a mucl or go wild. It is the relatives who are in charge of the children who should receive the blame. It is obviosu to me that the parent wanted their children to be raised in the country where they are at. That is why they were left with relatives. That takes a lot for aprent to give up their children to be raised by relatives. Just so they can be raised in the country of their choice.
@JanMags (726)
• Philippines
29 May 07
Thank you rusty. Yes, it's true. I personally know a couple of families with this situation. Parents leave so that they can provide for their families better. They do want their kids to grow up here. I guess these parents are trying their best to give a good future for their kids. It just makes me feel so sad that parents have to be gone for so long. Thanks for responding rusty
@sedel1027 (17868)
• United States
28 May 07
I think that if the parent left behind or guardian handles the situation properly, then the child should be just like any other kid. If there was a connection between unruly kids and parents working over seas for years at a time, I think there would be a lot of research going on just based on the number of military parents that are gone at least a year at a time, not only due to war, but to regular duty.
1 person likes this
@JanMags (726)
• Philippines
29 May 07
Well I guess so. But it's infinitely worse in my country. Parents can disappear for decades. That's a nice study suggestion for an academic thesis. THanks for dropping by.
@youless (84602)
• Guangzhou, China
28 May 07
It's not for sure. But if you pay less attention and care to your children, it'll probably lead them to the bad way. Try to imagine children without parents, they will feel alone and insecurity. When they meet some difficulties, they can't tell anybody. I do suggestions parents should live with their children. At least they need love from you. Parents have the responsibility for their children.
1 person likes this
@JanMags (726)
• Philippines
29 May 07
I agree completely. I wish kids never had to get left behind here. It's just terrible the way parents have to work so hard and end up neglecting the kids.
@piasabird (1737)
• United States
28 May 07
That's awful! Why would she abandon her children like that? Good grief! No wonder they're running wild. They practically have no mother. I think that kids need some adult in their lives to guide them and to make rules for them to live by. Maybe it doesn't always have to be a parent, but a parent is the best one to do the job. I think they might get into trouble with the law in the future if they continue as they are. That's not always the case, but I think it's more likely.
1 person likes this
@JanMags (726)
• Philippines
29 May 07
Hello piasabird. Actually a lot of parents here in my country do the same thing. It's not that most of them want to but life here is not easy. The only way people cantide their families through is to work abroad. It's a matter of survival really. Personally though, i agree with you. It's terrible the way kids get left behind. I also have students with overseas parents and they all have personality problems. It's really a sad sad case. thanks for dropping by. You made a great response.
@magica (3710)
• Bulgaria
29 May 07
Agree. There is a risk. Theese people need attention, they need their parents not only for food, drink and clothes, they need their parents as love, support, reaction to their immidiate questions and problems. A very big part of theese children feel allone and left. So they rebel.