Virginity and Blood

Nigeria
May 28, 2007 8:55pm CST
I met the man I married more than 20 years ago. We've been married for about 18 years. Recently, he came up with a statement that keeps bothering me. He is no longer sure I was a virgin when we first met. His reason is that he cannot remember seeing blood the first time he made love to me. That was the first time for both of us. But now he thinks I deceived him because he cannot remember seeing blood. Please, guys out there, do you know virgins by seeing a pool of blood?
3 people like this
12 responses
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
29 May 07
after 20 years out of the sudden he brought this up? there must be something else on his mind and it wasn't your virginity. why he didn't mention it on your first night? anyway everyone above have given you good advices about virginity and blood. good luck!
2 people like this
@andak2007 (3229)
• Philippines
30 May 07
yeah all of the above advices are good about virginity and the presence of blood and i wonder what really is his purpose for bringing that up, if i were you i could have slpped him on his face for insulting you with those remarks. And besides what if you were not virgin, virginity is not the assurance of a long lasting marriage, he really is up to something mind you. You might wanna ask whats going on with him...its your right to know.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Jun 07
I agree with you girl...i think he's just making excuses.. right?
• Australia
29 May 07
The blood is from the hymen breaking. If you were physically active as a child (horse riding, gymnastics etc), you've most likely already broken your hymen. Not all hymens are thick/strong enough to bleed when they break in the first place. Lots of people don't bleed, or it may have been so little blood that you didn't notice it. Hope this helps!
1 person likes this
• United States
29 May 07
No pool of blood here. I lost my v to my high school sweetheart in high school and yeah no blood. He did tell me that he didn't think I was when we did but after we talked he realized he was my first. Unfortuantly for him it was after we had broken up and I had alrady moved on and so had he.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 May 07
Pool of blood? There was no blood when I lot my virginity. I am sure of it. I think I would have noticed. Why would he have come up with this all of a sudden? Is it something that is really bothering him. I would assume something else has caused this to come up after this long. I would talk more about it.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56563)
• Delhi, India
18 Jun 07
There is no point discussing this issue after so many years.
@rsa101 (16193)
• Quezon City, Philippines
18 Jun 07
I am just wondering why is it very important for him to know if he was the first or not. For as long as you both love each other very much then that I think is enough for you two. I think he's making another excuse for something so that he could make a valid exit in your relationship. I hope that is not true....
@uiwwitch (892)
• United States
18 Jun 07
that's an age old myth that have been defied over and over again. I can't believe your husband still don't know that. The more annoying I guess is, being married for 18 years, he's bothered by that? What about the 18 years? There might be something going on here, he's trying to accuse you of something, Is he trying to get out of the relationship, trying to find a fault to pin on you? You have to talk to him and get to the bottom of this.
• United States
3 Jun 07
NOT EVERYONE BLEEDS. it doesnt mean anything. sorry you had to go through this, he should just trust you.
• United States
1 Jun 07
As was said there is not always blood with the lose of virginity but reasons for it go from then hymen, to you were ready for him, to horseback riding, and if gymnastics you could have did any of that and there would be no blood I took gymnastics and when I lost my virginity there was no blood you could or could't have felt pain depending on if you did any of the above and if you did you would have still been very tight I am not saying this to be funny but give him a romance book those women lose there virginity and some bleed some don't and after twenty years what's with the questions because this problem seems twenty years to late.
@nylcoen (41)
• Philippines
1 Jun 07
i remember the time when my husband and I did it for the first time, funny but I asked him why I haven't see any blood stain on our bed..I feel stupid asking him when he should be the one asking me..but he explained it to me that not all women "shed" blood during their "first time"..he said it really depend on how you both did the "first time".And in my case I'm athletic so it was never a question for him..I also asked my ob about it and she gave the same explanation. By the way..how did that statement changed your relationship with each other?
@sreevasu (2717)
• India
29 May 07
Not seeing pool of blood with first mating never means that you were not virgin then. I feel pity about your man. He is better consulted with a good sexologist. Good luck for you