Why is it so hard to raise a teenager?

@Neriz69 (1042)
Philippines
May 29, 2007 3:35am CST
I have been a teenager once and I didn't make life easy for my parents. And I don't know why I did it. I don't know, but it's something biological or psychological that we cannot control and we do the things our parents ask us not to. Now that I'm a parent myself, I am also going through the stage, though it may not be as hard as it was for my parents because I make sure to keep communications open. Nevertheless the problem is still there. Parents and teenagers out there, I would like to know what's on your mind that you do the things that you did to annoy your parents and make their lives miserable when we were teenagers.
16 responses
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
29 May 07
i am not a mother yet. but looking back on my teen years, i was a little hardheaded, too. i go out late at night just to be with friends. but that's just it. i always come home and never forget to prioritize school, too. my grades were still up and i finished school and even passed my licensure exam. my parents were so proud of me. however, i still feel bad since i made my parents worry back then for me.
2 people like this
@Neriz69 (1042)
• Philippines
30 May 07
Exactly how I was when I was a teenager, I just do the things I want to do even if I know it will hurt my parents. Then it must really be hormones, chemical changes in the body affecting our mentality.
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
30 May 07
when we see it now... we feel bad about doing those things. but we still have time to correct those mistakes, right?
1 person likes this
@Neriz69 (1042)
• Philippines
6 Jun 07
It's never too late I guess. I'm thankful that I was able to correct mine. My mom and I were Ok before she passed away.
• United States
29 May 07
Teenagers can be challenging to raise because of a number of reasons. Probably the main reason is that their pre-frontal cortex is not fully fused until they are into their 20's. This is the center of the brain responsible for higher cognitive functions such as behavior control. Other reasons why kids do what they do is to test their limits and to find themselves.
2 people like this
@Neriz69 (1042)
• Philippines
6 Jun 07
That's a bit technical, but I like the way you explained it. I knew it, there has to be a scientific basis to it. Thanks for your comment.
@HighReed1 (1126)
• United States
29 May 07
I was a fairly rotten teenager. I thought my parents were old and didn't know anything. I think teens struggle with the 'trying to be an adult but they aren't' feeling. They think they know everything, even when they don't. Just keep up with the loving guidance. They will make mistakes. Mine were so rebellious at times I had to let them have the logical consequence of being locked up in juvenile detention. I don't know how it is in the Phillipines, but I wanted my boys to realize they hated jail before they had to deal with adult prison. So far, it seems to have worked.
2 people like this
@sodapop (977)
• United States
29 May 07
I didn't have nearly as much trouble raising my two boys as teenagers that I am having with my daughter. She is 16 and sometimes she wants to be treated like an adult and sometimes she doesn't. I think when she gets overloaded is when she wants to be treated like a little girl. She is so active in school, sometimes she doesn't even have enough time to grab something to eat. She puts more pressure on herself than I do. Compared her to my boys, they were easy to raise as teenagers.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
29 May 07
Exactly, I am facing same problem here with my daughter. She is only 11 years old but her behaviour is beyond control. She sometimes skip her classes and hide at the neighbour's house. Due to this I have send her to the convent so that she get spiritual mentoring from the nuns. My two boys have grown up and are working. They were not that difficult to raise up.
@sodapop (977)
• United States
31 May 07
Thanks for your comment, I was beginning to believe I was the only one here that thinks girls are much harder to raise than boys. Like my husbands says if she would have been our first child, she would have been an only child...LOL
1 person likes this
@Neriz69 (1042)
• Philippines
6 Jun 07
Mine are all girls, four of them. Just imagine what I'm going through. LOL.
@ParaTed2k (21940)
• Sheboygan, Wisconsin
29 May 07
It's hard to raise teenagers for the same reason it is hard being one. Teenage years are the first time a person has to make decisions for themselves. They have to make these decisions with little to now experience. Everything seems new to them, so it's hard to listen to advice from those older than they are. Since it's new to them, how can older people know what they are going through?
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
29 May 07
yup. it's the first time when we can make decisions for ourselves. and mostly, we come up with silly decisions. and so, it's when our parents also worry for us since it's our first time to think on our own.
1 person likes this
@Neriz69 (1042)
• Philippines
30 May 07
I think the tension comes in when they make decisions I wouldn't make. And it's hard to accept also the fact that we don't have the same opinion regarding life.
• Philippines
29 May 07
i think the only thing that a teenager wants is time, love, consideration?
1 person likes this
@Neriz69 (1042)
• Philippines
6 Jun 07
I'm definite that love is always there, it's the time and consideration that I am guilty. When you're a working mom there's almost no time for them. When you go home from work you're already tired and patience gets thin. Thanks for bringing it up.
@lynboobsy11 (11345)
• Philippines
29 May 07
I have a teenage girl too, and I know they have something about in there minds that somehow they can't really explain to us mothers. They are all seeking for something that for them is the beggining of their real life like making decisions, suffering from problems that they can't share with us. And thats the problem with us sometimes we can't even understand them why they act like that. Sometimes we really want what is really matter with them, and try to control them but they think that thier have there own minds and don't want to control.
@Neriz69 (1042)
• Philippines
6 Jun 07
They think they can do it on their own, but actually they cannot yet. When we try to help them or tell them what to do, they get frustrated with themselves and get mad at us.
@jolly223 (73)
• United States
29 May 07
When my parents made my mad i tried little things to irritate them that they could never prove i did.
1 person likes this
@Neriz69 (1042)
• Philippines
6 Jun 07
I guess I was guilty of that too. he he he
@mujtab20 (434)
• Nigeria
29 May 07
The point here is that, a teenage is always thinking that he's grown up kid, so the zeal to become adult is making them sometimes to feel they are big enough to take care of themselves.
1 person likes this
@Neriz69 (1042)
• Philippines
6 Jun 07
Yes you are right, they wanted to do things on their own, but in reality they really can't do it yet and get frustrated with us.
@rapolu_cs (1184)
• India
29 May 07
Life of a teenager is just like apaper of just as a flower as i think so because the children at this age are very sensitive at hearts and they easily believe whatever they listen others and they are easily attracted to the bad world as the never find difficulties in practising them and even the want to take their own decisions and they hardly like to listen to our advise that's whyu it is hard to mould them at teenages,what i think.
@Neriz69 (1042)
• Philippines
6 Jun 07
Thank you for your thoughts, I really appreciate them.
@Divzs18 (442)
• India
5 Jun 07
I think first of all it is all out generation gap. What elders thinks or takes any particular situation is completly different from what teenagers thinks at their age. They are new in learning things which is already been experienced by elders. So I think till every teenager didn't experience things of their own they always whats to make their point.
1 person likes this
@tonixxx (358)
29 May 07
I am neither a parent or a teenager but i find the subject very interesting. I think that parents and teenagers are not meant to get on, i think that it is natures way of seperating them a little in preperation for the teens leaving the nest so to speak. Teenagers rebel and break away so that it is (supposedly) less heartbreaking when they leave home. Also i think it is to do with the changes they experience, their brains are not yet fully developed in the same way that their bodies are still forming, they rebel because they are confused, they are beggining to look like adults and feel they ought to be independant like adults. However they do not have the ability to sort things out logically in their own minds. In the same way parents have been there but as they have developed they aqcuire what they know as logic and lose the ability to relate to irrational thoughts and actions and so tthere is an inevitable clash.Basically teens don't have enough logic and parents have too much.
@babystar1 (4235)
• United States
29 May 07
I think if all of us would no that answer we all would be stress free. If you ever fine out the answer please let me no.
1 person likes this
• India
29 May 07
hi with every new generation, raising of a teenager will be all the more difficult, as that age is of adolescence and difficult to convince with logic. its better to handle them with love
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 May 07
Because that's the stage of our life that we need answer for some of our questions? And that's stage of experimenting.
1 person likes this
@zidlore (251)
• Philippines
8 Jun 07
I am a teenager now, and I understand why we did it (yes, I admit it!). Some say it is because of our transition from childhood to adulthood wherein we became more aware of our surroundings that make us uneasy and feel differently. Media is another cause. We are now more exposed to the internet, tv and other stuff that makes our mind crazy, we will think that this one is right then that one is wrong but my favorite actress says otherwise so I'll think that the wrong is right, etc. I hope I helped! ^_____^