Are You a Submissive Woman?

Canada
May 29, 2007 9:41pm CST
Women tend to be submissive in many cultures on this planet. They are told since their childhood how to please men and serve them. I have always thought that submissive women were just an oriental thing. Though, I personally knew some women who belong to this category including one of my girlfriends. Here in Quebec, Women have spent years struggling to acquire some minimum rights. Though and still, some women here prefer to let men take control. They are ready to sacrifice their whole life just to please their man. They seem to be oblivious when it comes to their man's negative side. They are too much forgiving. Are you a submissive woman? If so, why are you willing to accept that somebody else controls your whole life? If not, why do you prefer to have the last word when being involved in a relationship with a guy? And you guys, are you rather for submissive women or for the ones who enjoy taking control? I am not for a woman who would tell me all the time:whatever you want. I am not for a woman who will control my life neither as I cherish my independence. There must be a middle in between.
8 people like this
19 responses
@tina12679 (1126)
• United States
30 May 07
i am far from submissive but i am also not controling. my hubby and i have and equal realtionship. we discuss things instead of deciding soley by ourselves and make dessisions together, although my hubby seems to get his way more then i do. But i dont take orders from him and he dont take them from me. I also have worked and intend on getting a job again to have 2 incomes in the house and he an i share exspences and share the bills equally.
2 people like this
• Canada
30 May 07
That is a nice relationship.
• Canada
11 Jun 07
Hi Spiderman, I am a submissive woman.
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 Jun 07
Hi Julie Baby, The SkyRock in your handle caught my interest the first time I read your handle. I made the link between your handle and the french radio station the first time I read your post. Then, I said to myself, it must have been just a coincidence, until I read your post on a blog of yours yesterday. I spent a few years in France too, from 1994 to 1999 for my studies too, does that make us a little bit closer? I used to listen to Fun radio, Sky rock and Energie among others. I bet you have missed Maurice and Super nana on Skyrock. They were animators on Skyrock in the second half of the 90s. Were we meant to meet dear Julie?
• Canada
29 Jun 07
Funny you! I don't know Maurice and Super nana... I went in France between 2001 and 2004... I know Romano, La Marie, etc... And Fun Radio... I believe your the only one who knows Sky Rock here lol We should meet, I try to catch your attention for a long time but you didn't seem to notice my efforts... Too bad you didn't because now I have no multiple blogs but multiple badly cheap jobs and I barely have no free time anymore. I left a bad job I caught got in and now I can't barely breath lol x
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Jun 07
I'm far from submissive. I'm very strong willed, very strong spoken and know what I want. I don't take crap from anyone, man or woman. Yet oddly enough, this kind of "attitude" often attracts men. Many don't want to feel burdened by a woman who can't think for themselves or take care of themselves. I know I can't stand a man that is clingy and indecisive. Drives me crazy. So I guess I prefer a "strong" personality in most people.
1 person likes this
• Canada
4 Jun 07
That is nice. Though, 2 strong personalities might lead to some clashes within the come, IMHO.
@LadyDulce (830)
• United States
31 May 07
Like you said, it's got to be about balance, though I tend to sway toward the dominant side, thanks to my matriarchs, lol. I don't need sh*t, but if I choose to have you in my life, then know I really want to keep you there. Many women and girls, even today in th USA, are taught that they "need" a man (why? I don't know) and the only way to keep him is to do whatever he wants to do. Why in the hell would a man want to stay with a doormat? I make things interesting baby, kick it up! Life's exciting; if you want a woman, you ought to pursue her with everything you've got. And it's no fun if she just lets you have whatever; what's the point if you don't have to work for it? It just devalues the whole process. Blessed Be
1 person likes this
• Canada
7 Jun 07
Yes, I think that women who do not try to please men at any price make it more challenging for guys and most of us know that many men do not like easy women.
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
30 May 07
I wouldn't want to control a woman's life and would not want her to control mine. There has to be independence and freedom to enjoy each other, not submissiveness. I cannot imagine a woman or man giving up their freedoms to please their spouse or partner (at least not all the time). As far as rights go, all I want is to be myself without infringing upon the rights of others. I would never expect my female companion to serve me or cater to my every need. I would prefer to treat her with respect and equality. Together, we would figure out what we both wanted and still maintain our independence to do things each of us might like.
1 person likes this
• Canada
5 Jun 07
Many men unfortunately take control of their girlfriends or wives lives. some of them do so because they are very insecure and hence very jealous. They want to make sure that their partner is not seeing another man and believe me they will do whatever it takes to keep the woman under their grip, combining toughness with manipulation.
@anonymili (3138)
30 May 07
Independent Woman - Are you an Independent Woman? Could you handle being with an Independent Woman?
I would have to say I'm definitely not the submissive type. My husband would vouch for that and then some LOL! I grew up watching my dad order my mum around and she always put up with it, to this day she still does, but they're from India and that's how they were brought up. She doesn't resent it but I have always found it rather annoying, so much so that I strongly opposed to being told what to do by a man. My husband and I work equally as hard as each other, we bring home similar sums of money and we share the workload at home, i.e. the housework, this doesn't make him any less a man and it doesn't make me a lazy woman, we just both work hard so we share the household responsibilities. There are certain things that I "boss" him around about and vice versa, it works well for us and we're still together after 5 years so it can't be all bad. Considering I was with my ex for about 15 years and he relied on me to make ALL of the decisions, I actually feel much better having someone who I can depend on and who can depend on my equally, just in different areas. We both have our strengths and we each recognise that and no matter what people say that it doesn't work if a couple has equal responsibilities, I would have to disagree as it works well for us:)
• Canada
30 May 07
Yes, it is tiring to have to make all the decisions. I was on a relationship of this kind. I liked it at the beginning, but then started to wish that my girlfriend would make some decisions once in a while. I was also in a relation where simple decisions like choosing a restaurant generally entailed long discussions and negotiations.
@huilee (1010)
• Singapore
30 May 07
I guess i am one... Even in the midst of a quarrel, i soemtimes think that i am not wrong too... But i will tend to give in to my partner and say okie, i am in the wrong... I dun like quarrels... I like to live in peace and harmony... =)
1 person likes this
• Canada
1 Jun 07
Probably you are with a nice partner, because otherwise many people will try to take advantage of such passive attitude and control the other person' s life.
@maean_19 (4662)
• Philippines
30 May 07
I am more of the opposite and my bf being the submissive one. I guess, it's because of my strong personality.
• Canada
30 May 07
I might be wrong about this one, but I tend to think that there more submissive women than submissive guys. It could be a genetic things inherited from the past. Though, as women became more and more independent, maybe this genetic feature will disappear after a few centuries.
• United States
30 May 07
I've been on both sides of that fence. It's very easy to submit yourself to love-when it's true love. But, I believe it goes both ways. I think equal partnership is best. I don't want to have to give up my whole life, nor would I expect my partner to-I happen to believe that some separate interests are healthy; after all, the way we were and things we did before the relationship are probably what attracted us to eachother in the first place. I don't mind making sacrifices for love-but I expect the same. As for the last word--it depends on the situation. If it's something my partner knows more about, why should I argue? And, that goes both ways too. If I know what I'm talking about, I'm not backing down.
• Canada
30 May 07
I agree, I think that any relationship needs to be balanced in some way, otherwise one of the partners might suffer from it in the long run.
• Canada
5 Jun 07
What a fantastic question!!! I am many things, but submissive is NOT one of them!!!! I want control over my own life, and I want to be independent. I also want independence for my boyfriend, and that we only depend on eachother for love and support, not because we are not confident enough to be independent. I am who I am, he is who he is, and WE are who WE are. We walk beside eachother with no one leading and no one following.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Jun 07
No I'm definately not submissive... I'm not dominating either... I just believe in both of us as equals. Mom mom is a very dominating person - my stepdad is dominating as well so it balances out. I don't want to be like that... but I also don't want someone else to control me. Like with most things in my life I take the middle path.
1 person likes this
• China
31 May 07
I am not a eatirly submissive woman.But usually for bagatelles I will be submissive.Because men always are androcentrism.They can not stand everything he tells you to do,you say no.But I will not do everything.I have my own life.Do these things just I love him.Not be submissive to eaery man.
1 person likes this
@wahmoftwo (1298)
• United States
30 May 07
I certainly am not submissive. I think my husband is like you... middle ground is good :)
1 person likes this
• Canada
30 May 07
I am not submissive in any way and do things the way I want them done and if this doesn't please my husband then that is too bad . He does what he wants so I do what I want . I don't believe anyone should have that much control over the life of another person as we all have to live our life for ourselves . I am very easy going and very forgiving but would never consider myself submissive and have always told my girls not to take any crap from anyone and that includes men . If in anyway they don't like the way something is going that they need to speak their minds and if the person they are with doesn't like it then it is time to move on and find someone who appreciates them for who they are and not because they are easy to control .
1 person likes this
• United States
30 May 07
My as* is submissive lol. The only time that I like to be controlled is when I'm in bed with my boyfriend. hehe. I am not controlling either and I don't want someone who is going to control me. It's a big turn off for me.
1 person likes this
@safire (23)
• Philippines
30 May 07
i am submissive in the sense that i don't argue with my guy but i don't want him to control my life because I also cherish my independence as much as he does.
1 person likes this
@april_02 (82)
• Philippines
30 May 07
I don't want to be submissive but the problem is that I tend to be submissive, especially if I really want and love the person.. It's hard to be submissive and I've learned my lesson.. so by the next time I fall in love, I'll try my best to be just in the middle or in the moderation of being submissive.. =)
1 person likes this
@polachicago (19075)
• United States
30 May 07
I am very independent person from the day I was born. I don’t please anyone and I don’t want anyone to please me. I believe in equal relationship. If man makes any move towards dominating me…I am out from that picture. Besides dignity, can trees grow in each other shade?
1 person likes this
@jalbeos (1176)
• Philippines
30 May 07
Great question! I can't answer that question! lol
@jalbeos (1176)
• Philippines
30 May 07
Ohh, I'm not finish reading your whole post yet. Well, I am for submissive woman but still I want her ideas/opinions for any decisions and I take the control... my last word is mine.