As a parent would you demand this child pass the course?

@pilbara (1436)
Australia
May 31, 2007 9:01pm CST
If you were given this example would you expect this child to pass this course? The student has not done any of the required work assignments. The student was offered help on many different occasions but didn't take it. The parents have been notified of this in writing 8 times over a 4 month period. They did not respond to the first 7 letters. The parents did not attend parent teacher interviews. The parents were written a final letter stating that no work had been handed in and that the deadline for completing all work is today. This letter was written 2 weeks ago. Today the parents call and say that their child should have an extension to complete the work and pass the course. Under these circumstances, if you were the parent of this child would you be demanding they pass or would you accept they will fail and advise them to improve in the future?
3 people like this
12 responses
@castleghost (1304)
• United States
1 Jun 07
First off if I was the parent of this child I would be too ashamed to call the teacher to ask for an extension. Apparently I have already failed my child because of my lack of concern in the first place. I would accpet that my child and myself failed to do the teacher justice by doing our part in the childs education. A teacher can only do so much. If a child and their parent/s fail to do their part then there isn't much that can be done by the teacher to fix the situation. It sounds like the parent/s and the child need to change what is really important to them before its too late.
1 person likes this
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
4 Jun 07
Thanks for your reply. I agree, part of it is about organisation, and doing what is needed in an appropriate time frame. Learning how to do this is a valuable skill.
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
1 Jun 07
My god I would hang my head in shame if I were those parents, even if it was a single parent household with a parent who worked full time. I consider my childrens' education to be at a premium and that would just not happen in my house. I would be so embarassed if I allowed something like that to come to pass that I would certainly not be asking for further extensions. I would be looking into a military academy or asking my military academy dad if he would like to come and have a word with my boys, privately.
1 person likes this
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
4 Jun 07
Thank you for your response. This child goes to a public school so it costs their parents a lot of money. I find it such a waste when parents make a big monetary sacrifice to get a good education for their child and the child doesn't value it at all. But I would also be ensuring that the child met their obligations as well rather than saying we've paid the money, they get through.
@lisagayle (395)
• United States
1 Jun 07
I think it is absolutly crazy for the parents to have ignored the first 7 letters and then try to get the child an extension. Where in the world were they all the other times. i also still believe that if a student does not pass a class they should have to retake the entire thing, no just make up the work. If my daughter ever did this kind of thing, even if it were only one out of her seven classes, I would demand that she be held back. She is a good student and does her work, but if the circumstances were different than that, i would keep an even closer eye o0n her grades and progress reports than I already do. My niece has gone on this "I miss my mom" trip for the last four years since her moter passed away, my brother and his wife ask her every day "do you have homework?" and her response is always "no", she flunked all but two of her seven courses. I told my brother that under no circumstances would I, if it were my daughter, let her go to the next grade and make up the course work from the previous year, she needs to get it into her head that she needs to do her work, no matter how badly she hates school, I do not know what he is going to do about it when school resumes, but I think she should be held back. I ask myself alot about whe alot of parents are in thier childrens lives, are they just too busy with thier own lives to care about thier children, they brought them into this world and need to bring them up responsibly.
1 person likes this
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
4 Jun 07
Thank you for your response. I agree there should be some responsibility taken.
• United States
1 Jun 07
If I were that child's parent, I would have been talking with the teacher after that first letter to find out what I needed to do with my child to correct the problem. There would have been some privilege revoking, grounding if necessary, and homework would have been completed, no excuses. I find it hard to fathom that there are parents out there that do not grasp the purpose of an education. I suppose it's harder for me to fathom that because both sides of my parents' families are full of teachers.
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
1 Jun 07
Thanks for your response. That's what I would have done as well. I think it is important to have a sense of time management and meeting obligations.
@lilaclady (28270)
• Australia
1 Jun 07
No defintely not, I am saying this because I know what I was like when I was at school, I hated school and just could not get into the study thing, I just was not interested but then the learning urge came to me when I was in my twenties so the need to learn comes to people at different stages, having said that I can also say that I don't think I learnt much at school, I am one who just does not have a good memory and I think most of the things they teach you at school is of no use to you once you leave school, silly fact from books that are no use unless you want to play trivia games, I think most things should be told to students but have to study them is a waste of time. Everything I learnt with value I learnt from my parents and that is simple common sense as if you learn this and then follow your inner voice you will go learn what you are interested in and head straight for the trade or business that is suited to you. An alternative is to let students just study the things that do interest them rather than making them spen years studying a lot of facts from books that are of no earthly use unless that is what they want to learn...I did not do well at school but I didn't do too bad, I owned my own house way before my friends that did so well at school, I live a comfortable life and have been able to retire early so I think schooling should be set up different to what it is....
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
1 Jun 07
Thank you for your response.
• United States
1 Jun 07
I think I would use it as a lesson to my child that slacking off gets you no where and that there are always consequences for not doing something to the best of your ability! I dont think the child should be given an extention unless the circumstances were proven by the parents to be an extensive hospital stay due to severe illness or something extreme like that.
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
1 Jun 07
Thanks for your reply. I see it the same way, if this child is given more time then the message they will get is that it is ok to be slack and complete work to a bare minimum standard at the last possible minute. I don't see this as being a favour to that child. Of course circumstances should be taken into account, but in this case there were none.
@pyewacket (43962)
• United States
1 Jun 07
I would think it ironic if the parents were demanding that their child should have an extension for their child to "catch" up so he/she could pass...It doesn't sound like they took much of an interest in their own child in the first place if they had ignored letters 7 out of 8 times about their child's lack of interest or progress in the first place--should they be surprised then if the child fails...I don't think so
1 person likes this
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
1 Jun 07
Thanks for your reply. I agree, it would be different if they had not been notified, but both the student and the parents had many chances to take action.
@Lucille7 (509)
• South Africa
1 Jun 07
How cheeky of the parents to expect that you should give an extension to the child to get his assignments done... Even if the assignments were done he would fail the course purely because he has no clue what is going on... I do not so much see this as demanding the child pass rather than expecting the child to obtain special treatment in order to do so... All decisions come with consequences and the decision not to do assignments means that the consequence will be that the child will fail and that is that... all of us have to learn this lesson and so do parents. No extensions and no special treatment... You have done more than your part in trying to get the parents to assist you in this matter... Now it is about accepting the consequences of their actions... parents and student alike.... Good Luck... I think you gonna need it...
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
4 Jun 07
I thought so, especially since the first letters were sent out in February.
@biwasaki (1746)
• United States
1 Jun 07
I don't know how the parents could "demand" an extension after having been sent numerous letters and failing to attend parent/teacher conferences. I think the child deserves to fail, and that both the child and the parents need to take it as a life lesson and go from there. Personally, I wouldn't have ignored that many warnings from the teacher. I would have addressed the issue as soon as I was notified of it. I think the blame cannot be placed solely on the child in this instance, but on the parents as well.
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
1 Jun 07
Thank you for your response. I would not have ignored it either. Ultimately I think the student is responsible for making sure they complete all of the work, but I also think that it would have been responsible for the parents to begin dealing with it when they were told the first time.
@suzieb (188)
• United States
1 Jun 07
No, I don't see why they sould pass. If the parents don't care about the letters, then why do they care so much now? I understand the parents can be very busy, but come on, pick up the phone and talk the the teacher, or sit down with your kid and figure out what's going on. I work with the home and school here and I see this too much. No one wants to get involved until thery have a problem. If you get involved in the first place, there won't be a problem!
@HighReed1 (1127)
• United States
1 Jun 07
If that child has done no work and put no effort into the class, he should fail. What kind of example are you setting for this child if he/she gets an extension? The child needs to see there are logical consequences to their actions. No work, no score, no extension, no passing grade. If my child acted in this manner, I would let them fail. Maybe having to repeat the class would show them they have to put forth effort. Mommy and Daddy can't get you out of everything.
@xfahctor (14111)
• Lancaster, New Hampshire
1 Jun 07
My belief is that it is up to the teacher and the teacher alone. Under those circumstances, if I was a teacher, there is NO WAY that child would pass. As a parent, I would be VERY upset if my child passed this course too. I don't see how a parent can even think of demanding such a thing.