Do you respond to a discussion if you don´t agree? Are you worried about

@dana234 (2116)
Spain
June 1, 2007 4:31pm CST
getting a minus rating? Do you think twice about giving your sincere opinion because it´s different from the person who made the post? It´s understandable if you do because you might get negative ratings from the "poster" and/or the mylotters who participated in the discussion. If I come across an interesting post that expresses a completely different point of view from mine on a certain subject I still respond tactfully, but honestly. What about you? Please share your thoughts. P.s. I value every opinion.
13 people like this
29 responses
@stephcjh (32328)
• United States
1 Jun 07
I respond to any and all discussions that I can relate to whether I agree with it or not. I try my best not to turn it into a debate though or make the other person feel as though they are wrong about anything. I just voice my opinion about some of the topics and go from there. I do worry sometimes about the minus rating though but we are all supposed to have our own opinion of things.
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
1 Jun 07
That´s very considered of you. Worrying about - ratings is normal as long as this doesn´t stop us from giving our opinion :-).
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12172)
• Sweden
2 Jun 07
just like you, i do worry, too. i don't like my rating going down just because i had been honest about my opinion. but i am glad that mylottians are now professional in most ways... most are i mean.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32328)
• United States
2 Jun 07
Thank you dana234. I think all of us should be able to voice our opinion too, but we should be nice to one another in the process.
@teison2 (5924)
• Norway
1 Jun 07
I think the most interesting discussions are the ones where people express different views. I will respond to discussions where I agree with the one who started the discussion, and I will answer when I fully agree with the initial post. If I choose to respond I will say what I really think. I am not afraid of getting a negetive rating. I expect people to use the rating system according to the rules. A negative rating should not be given because you disagree with someone, but because people are out of line or are breaking the rules in some way. If I start a discussion I am very happy if people disagree with me. Disagreement and dialog may lead to better understanding of a topic, and I find it is really useful to have my views challenged from time to time. That is how I might better myself.
2 people like this
@MJLami (1173)
• United States
1 Jun 07
I couldn't agree with you more on this. I don't care that someone disagrees with me but I do care when questions are going back and forth the replier only gives a nasty reply instead of bothering to have a debate and answering what their opinion is. I too am trying to learn from others and understand why someone has a different point of view. I've learned to stress it is my opinion because of the nasty replies, but other than that if I feel strongly I still respond to it.
2 people like this
@teison2 (5924)
• Norway
1 Jun 07
I agree: in a good discussion the debators need to show respect for eachother. If people are rude and nasty I see no point in discussing with them.
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
1 Jun 07
You´re right, teison. A - rating should only be used if a response is offensive and not because people don´t agree with you. I welcome every opinion I get. It adds value to the post.
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48716)
• United Kingdom
1 Jun 07
No I am not scared to respond when I do not agree The Rating to me in a sense is silly If I have an Opinion I will give it and if this Person can not take the truth and my Opinion then sorry that is not my Fault As for the minus rating well that is just being silly just because they do not agree with an Opinion Love and Hugs xxxx
2 people like this
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
1 Jun 07
So right. I imagined that this is how you think and act, gabs. XXX
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23707)
3 Jun 07
Sweety until yesterday I would respond honestly - I think that different opinions do not mean we cannot agree on other things! Unfortunately I did this yesterday and was called a fool for my pains, some friends defended me and were accused of gang attack, when really the only person who had been rude was the poster of the discussion! Now I feel as though I will probably avoid responding to someone who I do not agree with , unless I truly know them well and feel I can trust them not to get upset if I don't share their opinion! xxx
1 person likes this
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
3 Jun 07
I´m sorry this has happened to you, dear friend. You´re always polite and respect other people´s opinions. Calling you a fool for your pains. I know you´re not one to whine and complain, the fool is definitely the poster. There are far too many people on here who seem to get pleasure out of insulting others :-(
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23707)
3 Jun 07
Thank you for your reassurance honey - I always try not to be disrespectful and to be honest. I did think that I would cut back after this but now that I have thought about it I am not going to let one person chase me from a community that has helped me through a difficult time! I can be very stubborn too when I set my mind to it! lol xxx
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
5 Jun 07
Oh, but in this case I think you´re right to be stubborn, or shall we call it determined?
1 person likes this
@smints8985 (1595)
• United States
2 Jun 07
The funny thing is that before I landed here in your discussion I was checking out another one regarding a mom talking about a stranger commenting that her infant was chubby. She was kind of got upset and she basically took it as an insult. I kind of wanted to disagree that yes she has overreacted a bit telling the stranger "and so are you." But then looking at her responses to those who has replied to her discussion, she seems really convinced that she didn't overreact. So it really wasn't about the negative rating or what, it was more like I was just trying to stay away from trouble. I didn't want to disagree with her about that, cause I feel like she's head on on the thought that she only reacted normally, so just to save some precious arguement, I just didn't respond to it. Afterall, I found your discussion right after.
1 person likes this
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
2 Jun 07
It sounds that she probably wouldn´t have been very happy if you had told her she was overreacting. If you had the gut feeling that there would have been an arguement, you only did yourself a favour by not responding. Not because of the rating, but because of the bad vibes.
• United States
3 Jun 07
Yeah, that was the main reason, I don't really like to argue with people especially if I have a strong feeling that they believe they are right. If it was more of an opinion thing I would have responded though in disagreement, but since it is personal, I didn't want to burst anyones bubble.
@emeraldisle (13146)
• United States
2 Jun 07
I don't worry about my rating. Actually there are times when I'm surprised mine is as good as it is. I will post whether I agree or not with the poster. I tell it like it is and let the chips fall where they will. As long as it's an interesting discussion I'll dive right into it without worry.
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
2 Jun 07
That´s the spirit.
1 person likes this
@emeraldisle (13146)
• United States
4 Jun 07
Aww thank you so much Angry Kitty. I'm the same way as long as they aren't being a jerk I could care less and can actually find it very stimulating to have a discussion with them. Like with you, we might not always agree but it can be fun to look at the different points of view. I'm sure some might think of me as a jerk but it's nice to know that some don't :) Thanks.
1 Jun 07
although i do wnat a colored star just for the idea of having a colored star, i do respond to discussions i don't agree... actually, i find them more attractive, i don't enjoy giving an answer such as "yes, you are so right" period. of course, the discussions should catch my eye, i don't respond to any kind of discussions. for example, 2 days ago i had a huuuuge fight with a girl from america about the reasons the world calls americans stupid... so, i kind of don't care about the "-"s
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
1 Jun 07
Agree. Different outlooks on a topic is what makes a discussion more interesting. Don´t forget: Just a "Yes, you´re right" period response is against the mylot rules. You´re supposed to state "why you agree". Just a little reminder.
2 Jun 07
i don't think i ever gave such answers. it was just an example to make my point stronger :)
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
4 Jun 07
It depends on how strongly I feel about the subject. I would attempt to respond tactfully, none the less. There is only one person I have encountered in all of Mylot who I don't think deserves a tactful response, but I just don't respond to her. Most of her discussions get deleted anyhow, and it isn't worth it. I think if you respond tactfully, you shouldn't even have to worry about a negative rating.
1 person likes this
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
5 Jun 07
It´s good to hear that you´ve only met 1 rude person so far. So right,we shouldn´t have to worry if we answer tactfully, I hope this is how it´s going to be here soon. :-)
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
3 Jun 07
im not worried about my ratings... im more worried about the people who might not understand my views.. but even with this, i will still share my opinions as i believe that mylot is about sharing your views and sharing of opinions. so if one does not like my idea of a topic, thenit is not my concern anymore.
1 person likes this
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
3 Jun 07
Yep, you´re not responsible if someone doesn´t understand what you mean.
@venshida (4837)
• United States
2 Jun 07
I do not worry about negative rating, and I know I have gotten some in the past. If there is a discussion that I disagree with, and I want to express my opinion I certainly would. I think Mylot would be very boring if we did not have different point of view.
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
2 Jun 07
It would be. I hope it´s not going to get to the extend that people don´t really express themselves because they don´t want to get a bad rating.
• Canada
2 Jun 07
I still answer a discussion even if I disagree because I never give someone a minus for disagreeing with me in a discussion that I start and just assume that others are looking for different inputs and understand that not everyone is going to feel the same as you on every given topic . I never gave it much thought that someone might rate me negatively for feeling different as in life we don't always agree with everything our friends say but that doesn't mean that we ditch them as friends or want to hurt them somehow . I beleive that we each have our own right to our own opinion and that anyone can differ with me and sometimes people can bring up good points that you yourself may not have even thought of or considered . But like you said just because you don't agree with someone does not mean that you can't be tackfull when you respond to someone , even if you do disagree .
1 person likes this
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
2 Jun 07
Most quality responses can only contribute to our discussions and as you said bring up good points that didn´t even occur to us.
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
2 Jun 07
In myLot, everyone is entitled to his own opinions. I would respond to such a discussion only if I have something to comment on it. I would not bother about the minus rating because it is one of out the many discussions which I have responded. In my opinion, the poster would be rather inmature if he gives a minus rating to a quality response which is of different opinion from him.
1 person likes this
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
2 Jun 07
Yes, minus rating in that way is immature and what´s worse, nasty.
@crazynurse (7489)
• United States
2 Jun 07
If I am intersted in the topic I certainly respond. I try to voice my differing opinion in a kind, respectful way. In my opinion that is what a DISCUSSION forum is, a venue for discussing issues. Of course there will be differing opinions. I sure hope that folks would remain open minded and not give out negative ratings because the other person has a differing opinion. Of course, if one tears down others and says hateful things about the opinion of others, then they deserve a negative rating! We should be adults and be able to 'agree to disagree' and still be respectful of each other! (Yeah, I belive in Santa Clause too....*wink*)
1 person likes this
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
2 Jun 07
I wish there were more people who believe in Santa Clause. It would make this place a lot better. :-))
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
2 Jun 07
Honestly it depends there are some discussion that I can respond in a very nice way even I'm not agree with it. But If I saw a discussion that really makes me bad about it I just ignore it. As much as I could I want to be nice person to everybody and I dont want them to feel hurt what I trying to say about their topic. I want to see all happy and don't want to have or to give negative response to others. Thanks have a nice day.
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
2 Jun 07
Very honest answer, lynboobsy. :-).
• United States
2 Jun 07
Yes, i respond to discussions whre i disagree with the discssion starter. This IS an opinion site afterall. If they can't handle to see everyone's opinions, they should not post the discussion. i don't worry about minus ratings. i think people should be more mature than that and only use the negative rating for abusive or rude posts.
1 person likes this
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
2 Jun 07
Agree :-).
@jennybianca (12915)
• Australia
2 Jun 07
I don't worry about - ratings, If I disagree, I say so. The trick is to disagree without offending people. One should not give a - if someone diasgrees. Though of course, there are ufair people on My Lot, who want everyone to agree with them, & can't handle it if they don't.
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
2 Jun 07
Unfortunately there seem to be too many of unfair people here.
@natalie1981 (2000)
• Singapore
2 Jun 07
Sometimes. I try to look if the person comments on his responders and see if he has any violent reactions on posts that didn't agree with him. If the poster is nice and welcomes disagreement, I try to put my two cents in but if I know that he won't take any disagreement, then I'd just skip the topic.
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
2 Jun 07
Sounds like a good method :-).
@Lindalinda (4112)
• Canada
2 Jun 07
Generally I respond to discussions that catch my eye and that I find intersting. I don't worry about minus ratings. There are however some discussions started by certain people that I stay away from since the posters only expect agreement from their friends.
1 person likes this
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
2 Jun 07
Yes, I´ve also seen some of these "You have to agree with me discussions".
@GardenGerty (99184)
• United States
2 Jun 07
There are some people, or at least some of their posts, that I would hesitate to respond to. Others, I know I can trust, regardless of my opinions. I guess it is just a judgment call as to whether I will respond to opinions that are different from mine. I am not as concerned about the negative ratings as I am about getting talked to in a rude and unmannered way. I get my feelings hurt easily. I know you are open to many different ideas, and can listen even if you do not agree.
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
2 Jun 07
You´re only too right to stay away from discussions that might end up upsetting you. I understand that you prefer to answer posts from people whom you can trust. Thanks for the compliment :-))
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
1 Jun 07
Hello.dana,when a discussion is interesting,i will rpely to it even i do not agree with it. Mylot is a forum which allows memebrs to express their opinions freely,if we just reply to what we agree,it will be very hard for us to reply a discussion. I will have nothing to say if someone give me a negative rating just because i have different opinion. I will try to reply to those which i disagree in a polite way,most of the members will appreciate a different view in their replies.
@dana234 (2116)
• Spain
1 Jun 07
Yes, being polite is very important. I hope you´re right about most members appreciating different points of view, easy. That´s how it should be.