Being Honest In This World Gets You No Where!

@wolfie34 (26793)
United Kingdom
June 3, 2007 4:13pm CST
I admit most of my problems which I bring onto myself is all due to the fact that I am TOO open and TOO honest! I have put all my cards on the table and boy have I been beaten, hurt, attacked and destroyed through it. Trouble is I am too honest, sincere, caring and wanting people to help and to help others, but I give away too much and this has caused major problems. If I hadn't of been so honest and upfront with my GP I wouldn't be in a right mess I hate being deceitful and lying and refusing to give anything away about myself but I have no choice from now on. It's left me feeling that I can't trust ANYONE, does anyone else feel this way Are you too honest for your own good Honesty is not always the best policy in this evil world.
11 people like this
30 responses
• United States
3 Jun 07
Stay honest, keep wearing that heart on your sleeve and continue swimming through the bs, most people couldn't even get as far as you have by lying and being deceiptful, manipulative, corrupt or destructive ! Yes being honest is very grueling, but this is temporary while the revelation of a lie and its wake in the aftermath can be very permanent and very damaging. The truth does set you free--so stay the better and tell it like it is even if it hurts cause in the long run look how much was wasted on deliverance of pretenses that were never going to brought to fruition . . . sharing the light, Erica, the Enlightenment Advisor M.A. Transpersonal Psychology Studies Counseling, Author & Artist http://www.enlightenment-psych.net/intuitions.htm
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
3 Jun 07
My heart is firmly protected by barbed wire and is impossible to penetrate, it's the honesty that gets me into deep shite, but thanks for your response, appreciated.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Jun 07
You are welcome and I hope someday people that have made you think honesty is wrong, find your truth refreshing !
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Jun 07
Honesty, unfortunately, is USUALLY not the best policy in this world. i don't know what a GP is, hon... i am the type that i like to guard myeself...i don't tell anyone anything. It's just not im me to tell. Although, when i finaly DO get close to someone, i wil tell them things. i just know it has bitten me in the a$$ before.
• United States
17 Jun 07
xfallenxlostx, a GP is a General Practitioner...the equivalent of a doctor....
@patootie (3593)
3 Jun 07
Ahhh ... now that's my biggest failing in life .. being too honest .. it has caused me a few problems over the years .. but you know what I wouldn't change a thing .. when I go to bed at night I have NOTHING on my conscience to worry about .. I can sleep the blissful sleep of the guilt free .. and that's worth it's weight in gold .. And if you hadn't told all these things .. right now you'd be worrying about how it might be better if you HAD discussed it all .. so it's swings and roundabouts .. either way your brain get's you by the short and curlies .. Damned if you do .. and damned if you don't .. springs to mind ;o)
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
3 Jun 07
I wanted help for depression in order to get help I was honest about my feelings and my past, now they are using that honesty to beat me with, sighs heavily! Yep damned if I do, damned if I don't!
1 person likes this
• India
5 Jun 07
dear friend, i think we share lot of behaviour.... i too am honest and sincere and many a times i see that my such behaviour gets me into more trouble and proves harmful for me.... but i believe that honesty, though might not be paying me in the short term, but in the long term i would definitely be a more happier person... i would look back to my earlier days and cherish the memories when i had been honest and sincere with people, while i could have been otherwise. and then i also believe that a person gets treated by others in a similar way as he treats others. so i still believe in HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY...
1 person likes this
@eaforeman6 (8983)
• United States
5 Jun 07
I dont want to ever be a dishonest person. I understand why you can feel that way. I just dont think stooping to their level will make us feel better about ourselves. I do agree, some people do take advantage of kindness and honesty and you know what thats their bad. I dont want to become what they are....
1 person likes this
4 Jun 07
Well I personally think being honest does. At times it doesn't but those who don't respect the truth are (your word(s)) and it's better to be truthful because it shows who I am. I never feel this way, because I only tell my problems to those I know would never let me down. Kudos wolfie! ~Joey
1 person likes this
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
4 Jun 07
Hi Wolfie I have been thinking about this since i saw you post it yesterday, and now I have to ask, what were you expecting to have happen when you gave this information out? understanding? sympathy? personal attacks? Advice? I think I have to ask you to think why did you really do this?there had to be a reason behind it?. I am not saying you were right or wrong to have done this, but most people do not do something like this unless there is a payout for them. Self esteem, gratification,respect, and now my next question did you accomplish what you were wanting? And my final question What have you learned about yourself?
• Philippines
4 Jun 07
wolfie34...frankly speaking I ADMIRE you..(aloT!) being honest is really tough! there's nothing wrong withh that as along as you're in the right track and all the things you say are true.. I hate people who keeps on badmounthing bout me at my back..i'm a kind of person who say all the things i have in my mind..i never been a story maker since i was a child.. LOts of people hated me,but i dont care.. remember this.. IT IS BETTER TO FOR YOU TO BE HONEST AND MAKE PEOPLE CRY than TO MAKE PEOLE SMILE JUST BECAUSE YOU LIE.. ..being honest won't harm you just have to know the right time for you to say the right things.... Thank you and godbless!!
• United States
4 Jun 07
It often is the horror of this society and many others that a truly honest person needs mental therapy. Honest people who care get depressed because of all the far less honorable wastes of society that seem to get ahead at the expense of others and even get worshipped almost by people for being so popular. It's attributable to the decay of society. You don;t need to be deceitful and lie, just simply don't volunteer information. You tell someone too much too soon and they soon stop caring because they no longer feel they have anything else to talk to you about. Take your time getting to know people and develop things slowly
1 person likes this
@kitkat1 (1227)
• Canada
4 Jun 07
I know exactly what you are talking about wolfie. I too am like you very open and honest and lately it really is setting me back not forward and it is not fair at all. And it does leaving me feeling there is few that i can trust in this world. I also watch people who are very much the opposite to me and yourself and they cheat, lie do underhanded things and they seem to get by great they have everything that i lack and so deparately need in my life and it is so fraustating makes me wonder what i am doing so wrong.
1 person likes this
• Nigeria
4 Jun 07
well its all about the mentality of the world. Have you ever wondered why bad guys get the good girls? its because they tell them what they want to hear and not the reality. Its good to be honest but i think we should be overly considerate about been so honest and telling the story the way it should be told. I am not that honest but at time i try to be truthful.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Jun 07
I understand how you feel about not easily trusting other people or giving yourself out to them. I, myself am a very cautious person. It is difficult for me to talk comfortably to people I just met or rarely know. For this matter, my only advice to you is not to give out info that's not really needed to be given out. Be cautious on divulging info bout yourself and observe your surroundings a lot. I think the problem here lies on your being too open with other people. We have to know when to limit ourselves so that other people will not find us too familiar. And you know what they say, familiarity breeds contempt. For me, giving a little amount of barrier around you is better than being very transparent with other people. As I observed, people tend to abuse you or step on you if they think they know you inside out. This world is still filled with goodness despite the proliferation of so much evil. I believe that honesty is still the best policy and will always be. If you are honest, you are a free person. Your conscience will not be bothering you and you will not be running away from people you have deceived or lied to. True, some people might abuse you for being honest but it isn't you who will be answerable for these wrongdoings. Wherever you are, there will always be people who will take advantage of you or use you. Whether you are honest or dishonest, these people will never be eradicated. Will you forever be running away from people who will abuse you? Or you will live your life on how you want your life to be?
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
4 Jun 07
Well you are the same kind like me. I'm too honest. When i was in junior high my father scold me because i was too honest. He said that i'm going to be eaten if i can't change my honesty. Well i still don't like to lie, but i sometimes i don't have to be completely honest with someone. This is a hint why you don't have to be honest with anyone. The key is privacy. You must have your own privacy right. There is a privacy boundary between you and others. i hope this will help you
1 person likes this
@shambuca (2560)
• United States
4 Jun 07
I have been in the past and gotten hurt because of it, it did change me for a while but now I just do my own thing and if people ask questions about me - if I think the truth is too much for then- I just answer what I think they want to hear. Sometimes its for the best- but if someone stays with me and becimes my friend I will eventually tell them the truth and if they are a true friend they will hang in there with me. I have been blessed with some really great people in my life and I am thankful for that. However when it comes to people I work with they are not always so nice and understanding (it makes life difficult because you spend most of your day with these people- it would make my life so much less stressful to have people I actually got along with). Hang in there- I know its hard I have been there- and it is also very lonely... something will change soon... I just feel it. You are not really alone there are so many people having difficulties right now- just about everyone I talk to has a MAJOR problem in their lives at the moment. Is there anyone you csn talk to - a pastor or councilor??? It seems to me that you just need someone to listen and give you hope. As I said before we are always here for you.
1 person likes this
@yemberzal (301)
• India
4 Jun 07
Honesty is the best policy. But it does not mean that you should be so open mind that your openness might harm the interest of others.To be truthful id nice, but to hide the ugliness of others is much more nice. One must calculate wisely where to speak ,and how much to speak, and where to remain silent. To remain silent is better than to speak out without reason.honesty never means to open your cards to every body.
1 person likes this
@xParanoiax (6999)
• United States
4 Jun 07
I think that's another one of the sad things in our world. So many people AREN'T honest or very open..so it's trouble for those who are. Now, there's a such thing as being honest yet being cautious. Like you could focus on a piece of the truth and leave out the rest that you knew would cause trouble. You're not technically lying. Yeah..unfortunately it's wiser to be careful with information about you. Everyone in this world wants something from the people around them, and we just gotta be aware and cautious.
1 person likes this
@banta78 (4335)
• India
4 Jun 07
My friend in my profile i have mentioned that honesty is the best policy and i stick by it. I have had my share of troubles but that are nothing compared to satisfaction i have that i have clear conscience. I can sleep peacefully. I am proud of my good moral values. I know truth is bitter. Sometimes it takes longer to reach your goals, destination but i tell you journey is much sweeter and when you get it is REAL thing , permanent no illusion or temporary happiness. And remember good karma is always rewarded. So be optimistic and be happy. Have a great day.:)
1 person likes this
@charms88 (7541)
• Philippines
4 Jun 07
Hello wolfie. I am always a very private bunny by nature. On a personal level, I don't give out too much. I'm pretty good with hiding my emotions. It isn't that I don't trust anyone, but I have learned long ago that I needed to shield myself from being hurt and betrayed just because I was too trusting before. Same thing here with mylot. I don't post too personal things about myself. My threads are mostly general topics. I share few things that I deemed impersonal and safe to share with mylotters. In as much as I like to look for anyone whom I can trust, it is always better to be cautious hence I may pay the consequence of getting hurt all over again.
@Nardz13 (5059)
• New Zealand
4 Jun 07
Hey Wolfie, Ghee thats funny "Being honest in this world gets you no where" Ive thought this same thing a couple of times, when I was younger. Now that Im older I choose not to believe it and I choose not to think that I was a victim to that kind of BS... I have an awsome life by just changing my thoughts...
1 person likes this
@rosie_123 (6118)
4 Jun 07
Well my Mother bought me up to always keep my own counsel, and not to trust people very much or very easily! She said if I went through life and had known 5 people (inlcuding my parents and partner) who I could totally trust, then I would be very lucky! So whilst I don't agree with being dishonest as such, - lying and cheating other people can never be right, I do agree with keeping a lot of yourself back from public view, as that forms a "protective shell" around you and avoids too much hurt. If you give too much of yourself away to strangers, then you open yourself to abuse and hurt.