Do you / would you talk to the parents before you allow children to sleepover?

@tredale (1313)
Australia
June 4, 2007 3:53am CST
Do you talk to the parent before allowing children to sleep over? I read this survey today which said 4 in 10 parents didnt.
4 people like this
11 responses
@kayrod2 (1304)
• Australia
4 Jun 07
I am fortunate enough to know the parents of the kids that sleep over, so i dont need to talk to them each time. I am usually in the room when they are on the phone to the other child and make sure the parents know. If i dont know the parents, then i like to talk to them. Best wishes to you, tredale
3 people like this
@tredale (1313)
• Australia
4 Jun 07
I think you are very luck to be in situation, I know of at least 3 girls who have stayed here in the last 6 months that have walked home with my daughter and have stayed over night. I have had to ring the parents to tell them there daughters here and its okay with me if its okay with them. I wouldnt let it happen. Scarey really.
2 people like this
@kayrod2 (1304)
• Australia
4 Jun 07
I wouldnt like that either. A bit strange for those girls parents to be fine like that. I like know what is going on. Best wishes and have a nice day
2 people like this
• United Arab Emirates
18 Jan 11
ya it is fine but parents ought to know that whts going on ..by calling them n keeping an eye over the kids.
@Modestah (11195)
• United States
4 Jun 07
wow, absolutely. more than just talk to, I think I would have to know them and for some time as well. Do kids still have sleep overs? I had no clue.
3 people like this
@tredale (1313)
• Australia
4 Jun 07
That would be nice but it barely happens around here. Getting parents that care is a dying breed. This survey went on to say and I can back this because its happened here. That kids stay over night at peoples place they dont no with little to no contact with there kids. Scarey
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48803)
• United Kingdom
6 Jun 07
If I did not know the Parents then yes I would as I want to know what type of Place my Children where stopping at what the Parents are like and in what Circumstances they will be in
2 people like this
@tredale (1313)
• Australia
6 Jun 07
I am glad there are a lot of people on mylot like you and me gabs8513 and there is hope for this generation of children though not as many as I was hoping.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48803)
• United Kingdom
6 Jun 07
Yes I am glad to
1 person likes this
@superchook (1786)
• Australia
4 Jun 07
Yes, I definitely do. I like to know the parents at least a little bit before any sleepovers happen. I also check to make sure the other parent knows what is going on too.
2 people like this
@tredale (1313)
• Australia
4 Jun 07
Yes me too and I will ring the next morning to find out how they went and what time they want to be picked up. But little to none of it happens when kids stay here. I mostly do the ringing. I even had one mum who said she didnt care because she was going out on the town that night and the kid was asked to find somewhere to stay. How sad is that.
2 people like this
• Australia
5 Jun 07
That is so sad, I don't know how parents can be like that. I would want to know that my kids are safe.
2 people like this
@Willowlady (10666)
• United States
4 Jun 07
I would not allow my kid to enter a home where I did not know the people inside. Those 4 of the 10 just don't think and they need some teaching. The parents that have kids come over without that meeting could be called good for notifying authorities so that a meeting could take place and the safety of the kids be more assured. This bothers me, however does not surprise me.
2 people like this
@tredale (1313)
• Australia
4 Jun 07
Well said I agree its a sign of the times and make me fearful what we are turning into it seems as long as the kids arent annoying the parents it really doesnt matter. I would be so scared that something may happen to my child and I they wouldnt know who to contact. Or I wouldnt know who to contact if something happen here while they where away.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Jun 07
I would absolutely talk to the parent. First off, I'd like to know where my children are going, and the same for children who stay over my house. My parents always did that to me. I was so embarassed back then. But I would do the same, especially for my daughter. When I was younger, I would tell my parents I was going to one persons house, then I would just go somewhere else. I got away with it only once, until my mom decided to call and make sure it was ok for me to stay at my friends house. My friend's mom told her I never stayed there. Needless to say I was grounded for a long time. I don't want my kids trying the same thing.
2 people like this
@tredale (1313)
• Australia
4 Jun 07
I am so glad to here Im not alone on this. It is disurbing what if something happened to those kids who would you contact or how would the family get in contact with you. we have duty of care to our kids.
1 person likes this
@soccermom (3200)
• United States
4 Jun 07
I always do, but I have noticed a lot of parents don't talk to the parents anymore. My 11 year old had a slumber party and out of 12 girls we only physically saw one parent, the rest dropped their kids off int he driveway and left, which is very frustrating to me. I know it sounds over protective but I like to know if there are any food allergies, asthma, etc...that we should be aware of, and I also like to give my cell # and let the parents know where we will be going if we plan on leaving the house. I dunno if it's because of the childs age or what. We have parents that will drop their kids off at soccer practice and leave, which gets frustrating too. Two weeks ago we had a thunderstorm and I ended up sitting in the minivan with 5 girls waiting for their parents to come back to get them.
2 people like this
@tredale (1313)
• Australia
4 Jun 07
This has happened to me as well and we go to football and have waited also. Its a really sad trend and one which will be very hard to turn around. I feel for these kids it must be very hard. I had a little girl who tryed to ring her mum and dad for two days and couldnt get a hold of them. In the end I drove around to her grandparents house and dropped her off because we where going away for the week. The grandparents where very sorry and have now given me there number so when she stays I ring them. So sad.
2 people like this
@fatragu (349)
• United States
17 Jun 07
I would always talk to the parents before letting my kids go over and spend the night. It amazes me that the percent of parents that would call and talk to the other parents is so low. Personally I would want to know if they planned on going anywhere and need to give them my phone numbers and let them know if my kids were allergic to anything. This survey just lets you know how lax parents are getting nowadays. Back when I was growing up you would have never run into parents that let their children "express themselves" by throwing tantrums and screaming and being unruly and not doing anything about it.
1 person likes this
@tredale (1313)
• Australia
17 Jun 07
This is a very valid point, I also agree with some parents becoming laxed but the response I have got off the mylot group suggestes that alot of parents do care which is wonderful. thankyou
@carlaabt (3508)
• United States
6 Jun 07
My son is still too small for any sleepovers right now (16 months), but when he gets older I will be talking to any parents before he is allowed to sleep over at a friend's house. Also, I will be talking to parents before I agree to allow someone else's child to stay at my house. There might be exceptions with someone I know really well. I might not have to talk to them everytime. But I won't let him stay with a stranger. When I was little, I was allowed to spend the night with my best friend without my mom talking to one of her parents every time, and she was allowed to stay at our house without our parents talking, too. But our parents knew each other long before we were born (my mom and her dad went to the same small high school). Her parents took me on family vacations, and my parents took her with our family, too. We were really close, and both families pretty much accepted the other child as another family member, so it was never an issue if we wanted to spend the night together, as long as we still did our homework. Any other friends that I wanted to stay with, my mom had to ask a million questions until she got to know the parents. She still called them everytime we had a sleepover, too.
1 person likes this
@tredale (1313)
• Australia
16 Jun 07
Thankyou for responding, this is right you need too know where they are at all times.
@jamie11982 (1662)
• United States
6 Jun 07
My oldest son had this one friend that we walk home with once in awhile and they live about 2 blooks away from my house. His friend wants him to come over after school to play and i won't let my child do this. I have never met his friends parent but his friend and syblings seem to be ok for my son to be around. I explained this to my son's friend that i need to meet the parents and talk with them a bit befor i let my son go over to play. It's just the protective instinct that i have over my children. I could be called over protective or not but my oldest son is only 6 years old and as much as i trust him it's other's that i can't trust when it comes to my children.
1 person likes this
@tredale (1313)
• Australia
6 Jun 07
I agree this is so true and lets face it we dont know who these people are if we have never met them.
@horsesrule (1962)
• United States
13 May 08
I would defintely talk to the parents and I would need to meet them too [and feel comfortable with them] before any child of mine would get to spend the night with them and their kids at their house. I can't imagine NOT doing that!