What Do You Prefer...MARRIAGE OR LIVE-IN???

Philippines
June 5, 2007 4:44am CST
In our generation today, a lot are broken marriage. Because of this such infidelity, incompatibility, family, misunderstanding and a lot more. We thought they are the right one for us. A lot of promises and swears. But at the end they dont even understand the word commitment. We feel tired, sick and cant stand of the consequences that always lead to a broken home. And who are those people who feel helpless? Its Our children... Sometimes, i was thinking to prefer Live in than marriage...Because in life, nothing is SURE!!!Especially MARRIAGE LIFE!!!
9 people like this
18 responses
@rhinoboy (2129)
5 Jun 07
I understand what you mean. In the UK, lots of people rush into marriage so they can enjoy a nice wedding day. My wife and I 'lived in' for several years because we didn't care about being married. We were happy enough to be together. We planned to marry for years but always had other things to do, and were happy as we were. I wanted to get married before our baby came, so we had a small quick wedding last year. It really hasn't made any difference to us or our relationship. I really think that people should live together for at least a year or two before marrying. You can't tell where a relationship is going before that stage.
2 people like this
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
I was married because i got pregnant and though we dont know each other that much, but then, i dont have choice just for immorality survival. Getting married is the greatest regret ive ever had in my whole life. I am almost 4 years separated now with 2 kids with me. I cry many nights because i know that my kids need a father. But then, where is he? He is far and and dont even care for his kids needs. Its true that its better to "live in" together before marriage atleast you know each other well before marriage. Because marriage should be forever. Not just for a month, or even for a year!
• United States
5 Jun 07
In my opinion I think it's better to live in. I've been with my fiancee for almost 7 years, August makes 7 years. Some people get along fine than then move in and hate the way each other lives.
1 person likes this
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
6 Jun 07
I agree with you Gwapako, like my marriage it also doesn't work, sometimes I had to admit that I hope that I never got to the marriage coz like now here in m country divorce is not prohibited and to process the annulment is too expensive so I don't have the choice but to accept that I will stay married. I have a little suggestion to the government who works for these kind of problem hope there is a renewal of marriage contract here for a year or for every 3 to 5 yrs. That if the marriage does'nt work and not renew It means it is not valid. I hope It will work and I don't know If anyone agree with me also.
• Philippines
8 Jun 07
Wow! Great idea. I hope you can do that and open that idea to the government.I will surely support you for that!!!And many will also...
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
6 Jun 07
Ideally, I prefer marriage as opposed to living together. Marriage signifies a real committment. Living together is just living together. I feel that without a committment either partner can just walk away at any time, and not try to work to have a successful relationship. My mother used to always remind us that the Bible said, "...it is better to marry than to burn."
• Philippines
6 Jun 07
You are right...I belong to a conservative and old fashioned family too. But somehow, because of the circumtances and reasons, they are willing to understand what their children decision will be. But they are always their to remind what is good and right in the eyes of God.
@yanjiaren (9050)
5 Jun 07
I can't help being an old fashioned girl. Eaven though we didn't do the big wedding yet with hubby. When I got off the plane we went to a Daoist temple and exchanged vows lol..Then we went to his house. I am very very old fashioned and can't help being from the old school, even though I have one broken marriage behind me.
• Philippines
6 Jun 07
We have our own culture and grown with it. So no matter how we try to forgot and not minding it, but still we cant help it sometimes.Me to i have a broken marriage.But still life must go on and on!!!
@Jamian (2605)
• Philippines
7 Jun 07
I prefer marriage because it is sacred. live in is not taught in the bible.
1 person likes this
@kawaii24 (520)
• Australia
6 Jun 07
For me its better to live first together before you contemplate marrige. Marrying someone is a very big responsiblity already. Especially here in the Philippines where divorce doesnt exist. Annulment usually takes years and I belive that its unfair for us to be tied to that someone because of one mistake. So better get to know your partner first and if it works out then thats the time marriage will enter the picture.
1 person likes this
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
6 Jun 07
I feel the same way. I might live with a man but I don't know if I will ever get married again or not.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Jun 07
well im a married woman myself.. and i can tell you that its so hard to stay-in marriage. lots of problems, disputes, misunderstanding between me and my husband. but we work it out.. the only difference between marriage and live-in is that when you are MARRIED you will not easily give up to problems that concerns you and your partner and or other things related to your relationship.. but with a live-in partner... you easily give up because there is no commitment.. no contract (I say).... yes marriage is not for sure if you dont let it work out for both of you... dont LET YOURSELF COMMIT to MARRIAGE if you are not really sure!!!
• United States
6 Jun 07
I think Marriage is a commitment that to many people are not taking seriously. Why is it that marriages are not lasting like they were? Marriage is still the same as it used to be but we as people are different. We think it is easier to run rather than work out problems out. I never lived with my husband. We shared a bed together for the first time on out wedding night. We have been through hard times and great ones. The hard times could have been the end of it all if it were easy to run away from it all, but the good times have been more then worth it. Everyone has the right answer for them selves. For me I choose the old fashioned way.
• United States
6 Jun 07
I think its better to live together and see if that works out other than getting married first cause then what happens when you get married but then you get tired of living together
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Jun 07
I prefer to be married to a person then live with them. I am all for dating and getting to know one another. I don't want to shack up with a man and lose focus on my value. I see a lot of woman fall in this for one reason or another. I can stay on my own and it would not bother me at all. If the man wants us to live together it's all or nothing. Barbie and ken can play house not me. I respect the older generations who stuck it out and made it. These fly by night relationships do nothing for the kids involved. If there are no kids then have fun with it. I think kids need to see more role models in life. Taking the first step to join in marriage is the first sign of togetherness to kids.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Jun 07
well scince im currently seperated, I think the next ime i want to do the live in thing for awhile before the marraige thing even comes up.. and Im atheist so theres no religion would get in my way of that...
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Jun 07
I think that if you love the person and you and the person are comfortable no matter what, then marriage should not matter.
1 person likes this
• Switzerland
5 Jun 07
As you said, there is nothing sure in life, not even Life itself. Marriage is not a contract, it is more of a social name to solemnize a relationship. Marriage is not an occasion, but, a commitment between the hearts. Every rule has an exception, and you should not make decisions based on them.
@spcbrass (1192)
• United States
5 Jun 07
My girlfriend and I are living together and we do not intend to get married, at least not until we feel the time is right. Many of our friends that have gotten married have also get a divorce within a few years. In fact the amount of young people that are getting divorces is the main reason why we are not in any rush to get married. Marriage just doesn't have the same meaning these days as it did 20 years ago.
1 person likes this
@jogie_bien (1103)
• Philippines
5 Jun 07
i prefer to married,for the person i loved more and you love me too.i think i am more happiest when i get married especially the day when you swear each other.And feeling more comfortable when married because you dont doubt that maybe you partner have another one especially when not yet marriedn that they can easily find another one, because they think they are still single.And not responsible enough when only live in,in my own opinion but i dont know to others.
1 person likes this
@kumarravi (145)
• India
5 Jun 07
Generally in any life marraige is the most memorable incident in there lifes. But as you have said they are broking but i think just not but having communication gap and not understanding with each other. If we understand each other fully we cannot have the breaking of such important one in the life. Firstly you have to be sure that u are marriaging to a person who is suitable to you. In my view it is not a live-in or marriage its life.
1 person likes this
@binny29 (1527)
• India
6 Jun 07
i would go for live in relation ship but in our country its not possible because of its customs and they dont allow these kinds of relationship,,so whre uf rom and customs are allowd in ur country