Mother-in-Law - To LOVE or to HATE.

@noyida (795)
Singapore
June 6, 2007 8:44pm CST
It can be very scary for those bride to be to think of this one particular person. What more if she have to live with her for a period of time. It is alrite if before the marriage the relationship is already bonding. What if it not?. How to cope with all the weird demands from them. Do share your experience..perhaps it will be of help to others. Thank you.
1 person likes this
7 responses
• China
7 Jun 07
It's a long time before I were confronted with this tough problem. In my conception mother-in-law is the person under whose guardianship my husband grow into a healthy and man,both in physical and mental, before I meet him and then take it as my obligation. So I think both my spouse and I should appriciate her heartily.In additon,I have enough confidence to belive she is a reasonable mother,(from observation of the cultivation of my spouse)and I'll try my best to let her know I am the person who take up her job to continue her love for her son. Of course every mother may feel unhappy to share her son with another woman at first,but with the elapse of time,she'll accept it,especially if I can respect and concern her as I do to my own parents. Be a modest daughter-in-law is helpful~~
1 person likes this
@noyida (795)
• Singapore
7 Jun 07
You really need two hand to clap. If having a mutual respect and humble towards each other help in the relationship, why not. Further, you dont need to spend a single send to be modest and humble. Keep up the positive attitude.
@noyida (795)
• Singapore
7 Jun 07
You really need two hand to clap. If having a mutual respect and humble towards each other help in the relationship, why not. Further, you dont need to spend a single cent to be modest and humble. Keep up the positive attitude.
@squaretile (3833)
• Singapore
7 Jun 07
My MIL is great so far. I feel that it's important for a new family unit to exist independently. With distance sometimes the relationship can blossom. But in close proximity, issues that never have to exist can sometimes crop up and destroy what is a very important relationship. So mutual tolerance and understanding is very important! After all, most times MILs act up because their sons are so impt to them, and their sons are impt to you as their wives, so best thing to do is to maintain a happy relationship all round so that the son doesn't suffer!
@noyida (795)
• Singapore
7 Jun 07
As the saying goes "Absent make the heart grow fonder". Really to be near is great, but to be next to your breath can be a killing. So agree with you mutual tolerance and give and take are very important in daughter and mother in law relationship so that the husband and son is not going to get all the stress.
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
7 Jun 07
I am married to a foreigner. So a mother-in-law problem is out of question. I met her once before I get married to her son. She loves her son so much that she wants to see who the person that is going to take care of her son like she does. I do understand her feelings. If I were her, I will also think the same. I want the best for my son. So does she! Before getting married, I told my husband that I want us to live on our own. I don't want to share a house with my mom or my mother in law. I heard so many stories before about living under the same roof with your family or in-laws. So, prevent is better than cure, I believe! Whatever it is, I treat my mother in law just like my own mother. If I love her son, I should like the woman who gave birth to him too... Since day one of our marriage, my mother in law didn't say or do anything that makes me think of hating her...ha ha ha! Even though she far away, we still keep in touch with her and the rest of my husband's family members. Whatever it is, we are a FAMILY!
1 person likes this
@noyida (795)
• Singapore
7 Jun 07
Hmm, just a lucky woman. I too believe that if you married to a man, you have to marry to the family too, not necessarily stay with them though. What more to love your mother in law as you love your mum. That the idea.
• United States
7 Jun 07
I'm lucky that I get along very well with my fiance's mother. She hasn't been a big part of his life for a couple of years, but when we do see her, she is always wonderfully nice to me. She is happy that her son has found someone who he loves, who loves him back just as much. So I know that I will get along with my mother-in-law just fine. :)
1 person likes this
@noyida (795)
• Singapore
7 Jun 07
Hope it will be a smooth sailing all along for you. May the bond be stronger when you tie the knot and take your vows.
@huilee (1010)
• Singapore
7 Jun 07
I guess things are not that bad anymore.. I mean afterall, its a modern age world we are living in now... I mean yah, in those cinderella fairy tales, those step mother will featured as if those will be our mother in laws... =) For me, im not married yet... But my bf's mum is very caring and understanding towards me... I meant to say she dotes on me equally as he dotes on her son... Very often, she would demand his son to take care of me... Like yesterday, we went riding on bicycle... She thought i couldnt ride and scolded my bf, and keep telling us not to ride on dangerous paths... I felt pretty good deep down, as in she dotes on me so much... N of coz his son will always say... Mom dun dote on me anymore... =) But of coz, she dotes on him.. Actually i cant imagine having to live with my in-laws... I mean yah, being together good, doesnt means staying together will be good... Guess when peole stays together, there will be alot of tension.. I guess if really no choice, just try to make the relationship and bonding close and good...
1 person likes this
@noyida (795)
• Singapore
7 Jun 07
Perhaps you are rite, nowadays, its very rare for newly weds to stay with parent in law. Thus not much problem. It good that your bf mother dotes on you. Still do not take advantage. Hope everything will sails smoothly until you tie the knot. Good luck girl.
• China
7 Jun 07
we should love :) love her for your husband.
1 person likes this
@noyida (795)
• Singapore
7 Jun 07
Yes, without the mother in law giving birth and brought him up, how can you meet him. To love thy husband, is to love his mother too.
@tina12679 (1126)
• United States
7 Jun 07
I am a fortunate woman i get along with my mother in law just as if she were my own mother, I had moved in with her and my hubby before we got married and we got to know each other then and so forth but she isnt like any of the other mother in laws that i have heard about my friend had one that drove her nuts, her hubby was a mamma boy and did eveything that mommy told him even if it was against what she wanted or said. I couldnt imagine haveing to deal with that and it seems that so many woman do have mother inlaw problems.
1 person likes this
@noyida (795)
• Singapore
7 Jun 07
You are one lucky person. It so heart warming knowing that you have a great relationship with your mother in law. Perhaps this is due to mutual understanding and both are humble enough to respect each other. All the best. Thank you.