Feeling rather crushed
June 6, 2007 10:22pm CST
Yesterday was my son's 3rd birthday. Quick background - my son was born 3 months early and has Noonan's syndrome. He is delayed in all areas. Well yesterday I went to have him evaluated by a speech therapist. He almost didn't qualify for services thru the school system because his receptive language score was too high. The therapist changed a few things around so he would qualify. I was elated to hear he had scored so high in the first place. Well I come home and get the mail. In it is the evaluations that the school psychologist and social workers did in early May. I read thru and was absolutely crushed. They said that he is so delayed he is like an 18 month old at max. None of the therapists who have been working with him all this time have ever said they thought he was so behind. I didn't think he was and others who know him didn't think he was so behind. Well thank you for letting me vent. I have just been in a funk ever since I read that evaluation. Oh and one more thing - I made a practice Elmo cake last night for his birthday (was planning on making one for his party on Saturday) and he was/is terrified of it. I dont' know what I am going to do for Saturday. This so shocked me as Elmo is his best buddy in the whole world.
• Marion, Kansas
7 Jun 07
Lets see what is more pressing, the cake, or feeling down due to what the school says. For the cake, make a plain one, and find some little plastic Elmo characters for it. The big Elmo might represent something he cannot verbalize to you, or maybe he just does not want to eat his friend, or is afraid his friend will eat him. About the tests or evaluations done by the social workers and school psych---if he did not know them, he might do poorly for them, just out of shyness. When someone does well on these screenings it often just shows that they do tests well, not that they are any higher developmentally, or lower. Those very cold, very formal evaluations are often devastating to parents, who see their children with loving eyes of hope. Has anyone ever said that he was not capable of learning? Start where he is, and go on from there. Those are just numbers. He has a strong mom standing behind him, and it sounds like the school has his best interest at heart. If he scores so low, then he obviously will qualify for services, which is what you want to happen at this point. Good luck, and happy birthday to your boy.
8 Jun 07
It's hard to come to terms with that... but although he's delayed in some areas, I'm sure he's doing well in other areas. Focus on his strengths, such as in receptive language. And I'm sure he's a lovely child, and you love him deeply. that's what matters. Perhaps he got scared because he's not used to seeing Elmo in cake form. And would probably not want to eat his favourite toy. I think cutting up Elmo would be scary too, even though you haven't gotten to that part! You sound like a great mummy - take care and chin up!
• United States
8 Jun 07
I'm sorry your in a funk. I can relate. My son is 2 years and 3 months old. When I had him evaluated by the state a little while ago, he was speaking at an 11 month old level :( I knew he was behind but had no idea it was that bad. He's been in the therapy for a little while now and made great progress. Just know that your doing a great job, and you know him best!!! Hugs to you