Choosing Friends

I think if that happened to my son i will give him a lot of advises and give lots of example to people who experience such thing. I will tell also whats the result of all they did. Just love her and take care of her i think if she very love by parents and give lots of attention she will understand why parents wants their children not going to bad friends. Its really common in society especially teenagers influence from their peers. Hope she will listen to you i know you are a good mom and a parent.

Need to find out if its the all the girls she likes to hang out with or just one and if they are after boys shes 13 and they do look. And public school might be better for her but tell her to pick one good friend that dosent get in trouble and bring her over to see you or stay the night where you get to meet her or even maybe all the friend see why they get into trouble why are they wanting that kind of attention. It maybe something you can help them with so that they will be fit to hang out with your girl. Mine could never stay at anyones house they all had to come to ours and we aould al set around and talk . Then later my youngest son started bringing his freinds over and all of a sudden I might have wal to wall kids asleeping over night on the floor.but not mixed girls one time the boys the next. And we got alot talked out and most of them were great kids just no adult would listen to them/

That's tough question, I think most kids rebel at certain age, and as they mature they change. You just have to keep the line of communication open.

I have had the same problem with my daughter choosing the worng friends to hang around with. Those kids stay in trouble and she is easily influenced by them. She is now 15 years old and I won't let her go hang out with just anyone. I always make those kids come here so I can meet them and their parents first and if it doesn't work, I put a stop to it fast.

If you think that your child is having wrong friends firstly try to approach with there parents and tell them not a mingle there child with your child. If there is no response then shout at the wrong behaved children not to have friendship with your child. If not just silently send your child to more far place by which the wrong friends cannot reach their and vice versa.

Yes we have to scrutinize their friends but we have to do this discreetly. I'm sorry to say but at 13 you are not your son's priority. This is the friend stage where the peers are more influential than the parents. The more you push his friends away, the more he will despise you. My nephew's also 13 and he despises his mom for nagging him a lot. I balance things off by being his friend. I try to talk to him about his life, his friends, his school experience. If I sense something wrong with his company then I give him advices but I don't reprimand him because I don't want him to loose his trust in me. My advice for you is be his friend in such a way that he will learn to trust in you. This is not as easy as it sounds but you just have to be very patient. This is just a stage in life.

private school does not always mean that you are going to raise a saint. it very hard. you have to forbide her from people that will only make her bad. as the old saying goes you are who you hang with. as parents we are always going to be the bad guy were not here to be are kids best friend we are to do in are power to make them better then half the people in this world. she will have times she wont like you and not want to talk to you for awhile but just as i was when i was her age when i grew up i thank my parents for being stricked. i would not put my kid in a boarding school for the reason she is not were i can see her and what she is up to. i would put her in a private school becuase its a less of a bad influence then public school and while shes living in my house if she breaks the rule there punishment at here age she want to go hang out with her friends and go skating or two sleep over stuff like that and when they cant do that and have to be stuck in the house for a week with only a book in there face trust me they think twice.

Parents are often put into this tough situation. The lessons have taught parents that we are all influenced by others. They want so much for their teens to have the wisdom to see the same thing. One way to limit the bad influences is by authoritarian dictates. That may not work when dealing with teens. More importantly, if that is the only reason the teen avoids negative influences, they will not have learned anything. The best you can do now is to have a heart to heart talk to help your daughter see the negative. Try to find out why she is drawn to this negative crowd. Does she think she needs them as friends? Are these the only friends she has. Part of the answer may be to increase opportunities with some good influences. Hopefully she will see the benefit of thsoe relationships. If you have a relationship with God, certainly pray. He directs hearts and circumstances. djbtol

I'm a parent of 3 teens. My son has had times when he has made poor choices in friends also and for the most part while I've made it clear he won't be hanging around them to GO places, I know that it's unrealistic to think I can stop him. What I've done is to make sure I reiterate what we believe in and how we act in this family. When I see something that one of these kids has done, for example one shoplifted at the mall when my son was with him but my son luckily wasn't RIGHT with him but in the store at another area, I make sure I point out how lucky he was that HE wasn't with him because he can be guilty by association. In the end he realized how true it was and how much it could hurt his future. He still sometimes picks people I would really prefer he's NOT friends with but I am certain that the bigger stink I make, the more he wants to be their friend. It's in their nature as teens.

Well, I kind of do. It's always at the back of my mind. She had okay friends in primary school, some better than others. Since she has ben in high school for 18 months, she has chosen excellent rfriends. I am really pleased. Even her first boyfriend is well brought up & sensible. All I can think of for your daughter, is to increase her self esteem & teach her to be strong. She needs to feel strong so as not to be influenced by the negative friends. I am not sure if being in a boarding school helps, as yiou have less personal control over her life. If you had her living at home, could you send her to a good day school?

i do scrutinize the friends of my children. i am very strict on this regard. i do not want bad influence to be causing me headaches which will be more than i can handle after sometime. your daughter is at her most critical years. i can still remember that during this age, i found it hardest to deal with my daughter. i had to show her that i am firm in my decisions and there is no way that she can cross my rules. there was a friend who had the temerity to show me that she can handle me. i literally, had to drag her out of my house and told her that she is banned from coming back to our house. as for your daughter, you will have to think of a way to be able to effect upon her a good way of discipline. i am inclined to think that having placed your daughter in a boarding school, is no easy thing to do for the parents just so as to get the child away from those bad friends. you will have to talk to your daughter tirelessly from time to time to make her understand about the need to be taking her straight ways.

Children - they are to be taught how to select and keep friends because things in these days are not always as they seem to be . Whether the ultimate choice of selection is on the son/daughter concerned, parents can definitely play a role in advising them to be very careful in selecting and keeping friends for themselves .

Unfortunately at this age no matter how much we shout and scream at our children so they do not make mistakes we and others have made they will still need to learn for themselves by making their own mistakes, rather than lecturing her or demanding she does something try telling her of your eexperiences and those of freinds, people she can relate to, the more you push her the less she will talk to you adn tell you if she does get herself into trouble or needs your advice, be open and honest with her but give he rroom to make her own mistakes.

Sometimes we can't hold everything what our kid's wants. 13 is too young to put her in a dormitory since they have to follow the rules. They always wanted to get out and have fun with some friends. Tell your daughter everything that would make her a better person. Let her now her limitations, she's too young and she still needs your guidance.

by being more of a friend to her yourself sending her away to school is hardly sending her a message that you want her arround!

Have you tried talking to her? She will learn her own mistakes. I was worried about my daughter when she was younger and she had a friend that I didn't really care about but she knew that person was wrong to hang around with adn I am glad that she knew that she wasn't a right friend.

We have less influence than we'd like as our kids get older, and if she's at boarding school, you have even less. I won't forbid my children to have certain friends, but I will give them more or less freedom depending on who they are with. I plan to welcome all their friends into our home, but some homes my kids won't be allowed to go to. My kids will also have to be trustworthy to have the privelege of going out with friends.

I have a 13 yr old son that was constantly getting into trouble not only by me, but with the law. I banned him from all of his friends that were a bad influence. I know you shouldn't pick your kids friends, but if your kid gets into trouble because he/she is a follower and not a leader then I think it is ok. Since I have done this we have not had anymore police knocking on our door. As far as teaching her to avoid those kind of kids you have to teach her what is right and wrong. Which I am sure you have done. Talking to her is the best solution and giving her choices to make. The way I finally got my son to listen was when him and his friends got into trouble with the law and the blame was put all on my son as the other kids walked away free. I told him if they were your friends they would have stuck by you and took the blame also and not left you alone. Your daughter is at that age though where she is maturing. Kids this age struggle with everything as they want to fit in. My son has already tried smoking, marijana, and huffing. I never thought he would do any of those things. Good Luck....you have a rough road ahead! ;)

If I new the answer I would tell you but I think you have to trust youve given your children enough morals to make the right decision. I think children need guidance and love and by not pushing there friends away and let them make that decission has worked well here. My children have the right to be friends with who ever they like but under my roof. If the other child is a bad seed my children have always got rid of them.