Would you dump your current gf/bf if you've fallen for someone else?

@rojane (500)
Philippines
June 8, 2007 12:00am CST
So you have a current bf/gf. In short, you are in a relationship, whether it be long or just entered into it. You made promises like loving each other and staying together forever. You know, the usual promises and vows made by a couple in love. And then you suddenly met someone, even your old flames, and found yourself falling for him/her. This is not an unusual scenario. This happens in real life. So now, if you are in that situation, would you dump your current bf/gf for that somebody else? Or would you dismiss the idea or your feeling for that "someone else" just so you could save your present relationship and keep the vows you've made? Hoping to hear your side guyz. Thanks for posting in advance! Have a happy day to all of you!
10 people like this
39 responses
@budsr03 (2354)
• Canada
8 Jun 07
I hope i never have to choose! My partner has been hurt enough in her life and i like seeing her happy and i enjoy making her laugh. We've never married but we've been together for 37 years. I simply can't say yes or no! Take care Rojane.
1 person likes this
@rojane (500)
• Philippines
8 Jun 07
So are you trying to say that you're living in together? And 37 years?!?! That's precisely not a joke, budsr03. But why aren't you married still if you've been together for 37 years? You even outlong other people's marriages.
1 person likes this
@budsr03 (2354)
• Canada
8 Jun 07
We met and started dating young and after 6 months we started living together. We were both 17 and the thought of marriage was avoided by both of us. I was working, but not earning enough to save any money that might have been one reason for no marriage. During our relationship i have asked her several different times to marry me and she says we are married in Gods eyes. I have given up asking her to marry, but i always thought that i would get married in a church. There is still more to this marriage thing though. Take care.
@rojane (500)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
You're partly right. There's really more to marriage than just a piece of paper and a contract. But who I can't seem to understand is your partner. No offense but what I meant is that every girl dreams of being married. And there she is getting marriage proposals from you and yet she doesn't want to? I find it kinda weird. And about being married in God's eyes without really getting married is not married in God's eyes at all. It's a wrong thinking. I don't know but I just think that God only sees a couple as married couple when they made a vow in front of Him.
1 person likes this
@muscare (3069)
• Australia
8 Jun 07
I'm not sure if I can answer this one, being married. The vows I made to my wife are the ones that are true. I look at what we have, and there is nothing that could change that, not even old flames. They are all in the past, and that is where they belong. Also, there is no new person that could offer me anything better than I have, ever!
@rojane (500)
• Philippines
8 Jun 07
That's nice to hear though. But what if that time comes? What will you do? Will go on a divorce or save your marriage?
@muscare (3069)
• Australia
8 Jun 07
What my wife and I have is very strong, and I am very loyal. If a time ever arose, it wouldn't sway me one little bit. My marriage means everything to me and would always be worth fighting for.
1 person likes this
@rojane (500)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
Oh, that's nice to hear. I wish all married men are like you: ever-faithful. Have a happy and eternal marriage then. Cheers! :)
@banta78 (4335)
• India
8 Jun 07
Well i really have one simply philosphy about love and life. I feel there is difference between harmless flirting which is fun. And getting into serious relationship or cheating your lover. I feel if you cheat or dump your lover then you really nver loved them. It was lust, physical attraction which wore out with time. Or you genuinely didn't love your so called lover enough. You truly didn't love the other person and would have dumped him or her for anybody. As i do feel one truly loves their beloved they wouldn't ever dump them as they wouldn't ever want to give them pain. One makes sacrifices in love not dump your beloved.
1 person likes this
@rojane (500)
• Philippines
8 Jun 07
I also think the same. That's why I marked you as BR. You're damn right. If you were able to cheat your partner, then you must've not really loved him/her. Cheating/betrayal just don't belong under the category of LOVE!
@soulist (2987)
• United States
8 Jun 07
I totally agree. We will always be attracted to other people other than our spouse. If we broke up with them simply because we like someone else then no one would be together.
@KissThis (3006)
• United States
8 Jun 07
I would keep my vows to the person that I am with.I believe that when two people make a commitment to one another that they should do their best to honor that commitment. I would not end my current relationship to get back with someone I have already broken up with, there was a reason that we ended the relationship and I don't care to repeat the same mistakes. As for meeting someone new well the saying goes that the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. Which means that just because you might think that a relationship with someone else might be better that isn't always true.
1 person likes this
@rojane (500)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
Great! I love that idiomatic expression you used. "The grass isn't always greener at the other side of the fence." It's true, you know. Things may turn out what we didn't expect at all.
• India
8 Jun 07
hai rojane, well if ever i have a gf ,if i truely love her then i stick to her .i willnt fall for another if we had a clash also.i try to solve the problem and make our bond strong. if she wants to break and avoids me without any reason,ijust leave her and dont go for other girl because my heart is made only for one person .
@rojane (500)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
Awwwww. That's true loyalty. Sticking with only one partner until the end. Keep on being like that. Your to-be gf is sure one hell of a lucky woman! :)
@angela2006 (1846)
• China
8 Jun 07
I think and I hope that day will not come,it is impossible that I will fall in love with someone else.I love my boyfriend very much and he loves me so much.of course everything is possible.if that day will come,I think we will just talk about it,thus it is good for both of us.
1 person likes this
@rojane (500)
• Philippines
8 Jun 07
Yeah, I certainly agree with you. Stick with your bf and you both can sort everything out together. Just hope for the best and cherish your relationship.
@ackars (1942)
• India
8 Jun 07
I will definitely stay with the new one.The basic reason that I have left the old ones is that there was some kind of problems with them.Who knows if I leave the present one and go behind the old ones,the same old problems may come out one day out..?I will stay with the present one for any reason till she bid good bye to me for her own reasons.
@rojane (500)
• Philippines
8 Jun 07
Yeah, I agree with you Ackars. I'll also stay with the one I'm currently with. We can both fix it out together, right? Thanks for posting! :)
@donsky14 (5963)
• Philippines
8 Jun 07
if that happens to me now...I wouldn't dump my boyfriend. He loves me so much. And if were currently having a problem when that situation occured...still no. cause, I know things will be better for us. I won't fall for temptation. Ü
1 person likes this
@rojane (500)
• Philippines
8 Jun 07
Yeah, I agree. It's just a matter of living the word COMMITMENT. Cheers!
• Philippines
8 Jun 07
well, i guess its a matter of mind and heart. if your mind say you love your current and then go with it but if your heart is battling with you. think abvout it for the seventh or hundredth time before you let go of that person and fall for the other. if the other person love you the way he want to be loved and all
1 person likes this
@rojane (500)
• Philippines
8 Jun 07
Thanks for your comment, Sakura.... But I don't think that you answer my question. So, are YOU going to dump your gf/bf for somebody else? What are YOU going to do?
@sandwedge (1341)
• Malaysia
8 Jun 07
you have no business with your current bf/gf if you have fallen for someone else. if you ADMIRE someone else, then stop it.
@rojane (500)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
Right! It's like putting off a candle light before it becomes a fire. Thanks for your thoughts. :)
• Malaysia
12 Jun 07
Yup! Stop it before it turns ugly.. The other person may just be some silly infatuation. I happen to take my vows and promises seriously. I wouldn't wanna jeopardize my relationship just because another guy comes along (even if i do have feelings for him).. I'll stop it.. It wont be fair to my current bf.
@natalie1981 (2000)
• Singapore
8 Jun 07
The thing is, we're humans and we're made because of love so, we are born to love. In our lives, we will always meet someone that we will have strong feelings for. If we keep dumping everyone because we fall in love with someone else, then there wouldn't be marriage or relationships. It's all about being faithful and sticking with the one you chose to build your life with.
@rojane (500)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
Very well said. I agree with you, too. Like what I said in my previous comment, it all boils down to living the word "COMMITMENT". Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts, Natalie. :)
@nandans (1161)
• India
8 Jun 07
This will not happen atleast for me.. If you love someone, it should be 100% and with full commitment.. If you think of dumping.... you are not in True Love ..
@rojane (500)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
I very much agree with you, nandans. Keep postin' and thanks for your thoughts. :)
@manlynux (271)
• Romania
8 Jun 07
i would never do such a thing, if i know that my girlfriend loves me and she only wants to be with me , i would never fall in love with another person, so whenever i see a beautiful girl or a girl witch i like, the last thing in my mind is to fall in love with her or other stuff like, the only girl in my mind right now is my girlfriends wich i love her and i will not cheat on her, i hope she thinks the same way like me ! :)
@rojane (500)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
That's nice to hear. I also feel the same. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here. Keep postin'!
@magnet (2087)
• United States
8 Jun 07
Remember you are not married,no strings attached. You're just dating and having fun. Enjoy being single. If you were married it would be a different story.If you are in a relationship but are losing interest break up and move on.
@rojane (500)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
You got a point there. Thanks magnet for sharing your thoughts.
@kawaii24 (520)
• Australia
8 Jun 07
yes, I think it would be unfair for me as well as my boyfriend if I just continue the relationship while I love another already. Im a very selfish person. Ill be the first one to admit that..so why would I stay in a relationship with a guy that Im not inlove with. Id rather broke up with him that cheat him..coz trust me, Im not going to give up the other guy for the bf no matter what ;)
@rojane (500)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
Yeah, I see your point. But I don't know. I just sympathize with those who are left heartbroken. :(
@ToriaT (102)
• Canada
12 Jun 07
I like to think i would talk to my current B/F tell Him exactly what I was feeling ... if what im feeling is taking my thoughts from Him i think He has a right to know...You can cheat in more ways than just sleeping with someone else...I think i would tell my current Love that i need time and space to be sure ...i risk lots for He may go and not wait...i may be totally wrong about my feelings and it may be too late to fix the relationship...but to say nothing to stay and always be wondering and yearning...i think is a path to divorce ...so i would probably go and hope for the best...at least i would know... ToriaT14
@ayza27 (10)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
definitely,NO. You've just met that person.Maybe you've just see something new to him or something you never see at your bf/gf and saw at that "someone else".Till you adore him.And that doesn't mean you have to dump ur current bf/gf because definitely that's unfair. You have to be sure of what you feel.
• United States
12 Jun 07
I think being honest with them is better than stringing them along, and by telling them you've developed feelings for someone else is the best thing to do in this situation. However, chances are, after meeting someone and falling for them, it's nothing more than a crush and things won't last long in that relationship anyway. So really, I think people need to be wise and think it through before they decide on anything.
• India
9 Jun 07
i wish i could help in this situation! the problem is that i have never in my entire life had such a situation! the thing is that once i got my boyfriend, i just stopped looking at every other guy in that light! i am not saying that i don't check them out! i do that! but it stops with that! even with an extremely good looking guy, i don't even consider being with them ! that thought doesn't even strike me! i guess if u are in love with someone then others just fade out from your perspective! and if u do fall in love with someone else other than your boyfriend/girlfriend then that means that you were never in love with your boyfriend/girlfriend in the first place! so go for the person whom you love!
@joan08 (19)
• Philippines
9 Jun 07
if your in a relationship try to think first if you can leave the person that you love just because of the person you think you're starting to like..sometimes people think that what they feel is love but it may be only be an infatuation to that person,i know that the situation is dificult but before making a decission you must think a hundred times and must be ready to face the consequence..godbless...