Procreation Phobia

United States
June 8, 2007 1:35am CST
Am I he only person who has a severe procreation phobia? I had to go to the gyno's office a few days ago and there were so many pregnant women in the waiting room that I got really really freaked out. I can usually ignore pregnant women when I'm out because there's not usually a lot of them everywhere, but there were so many, they were everywhere I looked. I got nauseas and started having shivers. I just cannot handle anything to do with pregnancy or babies. Is there anyone else like this?
3 people like this
9 responses
@Tanya8 (1734)
• Canada
28 Jun 07
I had a severe phobia of pregnancy, but I finally decided that I wanted to eventually be in a position, where I had an extended family (although I realize there are no guarantees), so I put a lot of mental effort into preparing myself to go through with it. (I think I'd half-hoped that artificial wombs would be around by the time I was ready to have kids, but no such luck). I literally passed out the first time I visited a friend in hospital who'd just had a baby, so it sometimes amazes me that I ever found the courage to get through a pregnancy myself (twice in fact). I'm back to being complete freaked out and would never ever want to go through it again. With my first pregnancy, I was so ill with morning sickness (which was like having food poisoning 24 hours a day for 4 months), that I was too badly off to even notice the things that had once scared me about pregnancy. I just wanted to die. The rest of the pregnancy relatively easy in comparison, just because it felt so good to stop vomiting. Anyway, the hormones kicked in and I ended up loving my kids, even though I found the baby and toddler stages way more effort than fun. Once they became old enough to speak in sentences and do things, parenting finally became rewarding for me. It's definitely not for everyone, and I might have been just as happy, if I hadn't done it. My husband has an aunt and uncle who were our child-free role models, until we finally changed our minds, and we still envy their life sometimes.
1 person likes this
@Tanya8 (1734)
• Canada
29 Jun 07
While I'm here, can I ask a question of any of you who respect a woman less for choosing to have kids? Do you feel the same way about men who have families? When I was in my 20s, I was proud of the fact that I had a good career, and couldn't relate to women who had stopped working to have children, but I don't really remember what I thought about fathers. Looking back, I might have been applying a pretty terrible double standard. Women are the ones who have to deal with pregnancy if they want to have kids, but somehow it's more shameful for them to want to be mothers than it is for men to want to be fathers.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jun 07
I don't respect women less for wanting kids, I just don't understand it. Men who just automatically expect their women to pop out kids for them do make me a little ill, on the other hand. The people I loose respect for are the ones who get pregnant below the age of about 18-20 and think it's a great thing and then rush to get married to make it a "family". And then the ones that I think slightly less of are the ones who don't actually think about having kids and why they want to do it. The ones who do it "because". "Because it's right", "because it's normal", "because it's expected", "because everyone loves kids". Those just aren't reasons to me.
2 people like this
9 Aug 07
I always wanted to have children but never gave much thought to the whole pregnancy process - in fact pregant women made me jealous!!! I thought little babies were so cute but always imagined myself with an older child. OMG how wrong could I get!! Pregnancy is the most horrendous state of being and I actually feel sorry for all the bumps I see now. I actually have to curb the instinct to commisserate with strangers and tell them not to worry as hospitals have great pethidine and there is always the epidural. As for birth, well that is the most painful and degrading experience I have ever had. Even a smear test has more dignity as they at least cover you up. Birth? Hell no!! Everything on display. Any old doctor can peer/prod/poke your most intimate parts and who cares if you are nearly naked? I found I couldn't truly bond with my kids until they were up and walking and the third (and last!!!) was constantly being chivvied into growing quicker so that I could have my life back. I say Bravo to you Gloom for managing to avoid this bizarre biological imperative. You are not a freak and seeing the state of some of the kids and parents on the street it is a shame there are not more people like you.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Aug 07
Oh wow, thank you so much! After the last response I got, I was a little worried more people would start heaping on the "you'll change your mind" speal. You are awesome! *^_^
2 people like this
9 Aug 07
You're welcome :) Seriously, I admire your fortitude and focus in knowing what you want because without kids you have so much more freedom. If I had a penny for every time I said "What on earth posessed me to have kids" I would be a multi-millionaire lol. Although I don't regret having kids it is such a life changing situation that it really should be given more thought. And can you believe that people are always asking me when I'm going to have another!!! Good grief as if I haven't done enough for the continuation of the species producing these 3! I wish you all the luck in the world to achieve your goals as you will only have yourself to hold you back without kids.
2 people like this
• United States
9 Aug 07
Thanks!! ^_^
2 people like this
@cuteypie (20)
• United States
25 Jan 08
Right here. major nausea factor for me.Stay away from it a much as i possibly can. My hair stylist was pregnant and of course if youre a female youre so to beinto talking about pregnancy. Since im a girl she thought id wnat to hear about it all her labor and delievery knowing how much i cant babies kids and those topics. and was tryign to convince it wasnt so bad as to hopefuly change my mind about not wanting any. oh yeah and after all that her and her b/f arent even together anymore aint that some mess. the thought of having a human moving around inside isnt a delightful thing to me at all in any way.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jan 08
Thank you! I completely agree. My chiropractor was pregnant not long ago and it just freaked me out really bad. I couldn't go back to her until she had it. You could feel it moving when she did adjustments. Icky.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jan 08
Lol..I have been laughing soo hard reading all of these posts..a few not soo much at. I was told I couldnt have children when I was 13 due to a car accident, unless I had corrective surgery..Well what 13 year old wants kids? i said no way in hell. Well here I am never had the surgery and I have 3 children. Some of your reply's talk about not having respect for pregnant women or people who have children. Thats a load of BS..I know it was not you that said it, but I want to know if they respect their Mothers because if it werent for their Mother's being pregnant at one point then they wouldnt effin be here! I also just want to say that just because a woman is pregnant does NOT mean she loses intelligence..I cant remember who posted that, but WOW...Talk about needing a foot up the rear. I think its every womans right to choose and some women just dont have that maternal instinct. There is nothing wrong with that. I love my children and hated pregnancy symptoms, but in all I survived. I refuse to let my children become brats..I hate seeing bratty kids that are not taken care of..Thats not the childs fault, but the parents. My kids are very well behaved and extremely smart..not to mention clean..but that was the way I was raised. I think your phobia is real...I dont hold your choices against you..and I would hope that you wouldnt hold others choices against them...If you are interested though I just got the implanon implant in my arm..Its new and is good for up tp three years..Apaarently its supposed to be more effective than regular birth control. I myself am done having children. Some state laws require you to be a certain age before they will perform any type of sterilization. You should check into that. Anyway good luck in your endeavors and I hope that no one else tries to pursuade you with the "you'll grow out of that phase" argument..Its annoying I know.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jan 08
Thanks so much for your support. That johndur guys really got under my skin and your reply was very refreshing. I personally try not to judge other women's choices, but past experiences can lead to future prejudgments and sometimes some people just genuinely ick me out(like women with 5+ kids in tow). As far as sterilization goes, you should be able to get it done. You already have three kids and that's usually the minimum. There really isn't a "legal age". A lot of doctors just say that to get out of actually talking about it. A few states have something to do with being 21, but that's not that bad. Most doctors will tell you 35 which is COMPLETELY untrue. That's their opinion, not law. Many doctors can't seem to fathom the idea of a woman cutting their fertility years short for any reason at all.
1 person likes this
@hari120 (623)
• India
9 Aug 07
I think that you are mentally not prepared to have children now , you wish not to enter into motherhood as yet, this inner feeling is causing you to have this problem, seeing other women pregnant should not make you uneasy, its their time to enter into motherhood. you can enter into motherhood at the time of your choosing and when you feel you have to , until then take the right safeguards to prevent and you should not have any problem.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Aug 07
Umm...I never want children. I don't like them, I find the disgusting, annoying and worthless. Pregnancy makes me sick and I never EVER want to go through one in my entire life. The concept of another snot-nosed brat being created makes me want to throw up. I didn't ask if I should have children. I didn't ask when I would be "ready". I didn't ask if I was normal or okay. I wasn't looking for approval, or validation that I would be "ready for motherhood". I NEVER want to be a "mother", the very idea makes my skin crawl. Nor do I really care if or when other women are "ready". It makes me sick, period.
3 people like this
@vokey9472 (1489)
• United States
20 Jun 07
I don't like pregnant women or small children. I really don't. Pregnancy freaks me out. I always think about those Alien movies when I see pregnant women. When I was pregnant, I was so freaked out. I hated feeling my baby move around. It make we think of parasites and how they live inside you and feed off of you. Then, like in Alien, they come blasting out of you with lots of pain and gore. I hated being pregnant. I hated childbirth. Anyone who tells you that it is a beautiful experience is lying to you. And anyone who tells you that you won't even feel a thing is an even bigger liar. I have a 5 year old child and honestly, he is the only child I truly like. I don't like other children at all. I cannot stand them. I think they are sticky, gross little monsters that should be kept hidden until they have learned not to be so gross. You know the English kept their children out of sight until they were around 15. I think I wouldn't mind that practice coming back into vogue. I think you are perfectly normal. Pregnant women give me the creeps too. Heck, I gave myself the creeps when I was pregnant.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jun 07
Lol thank you so so much. It's so great to hear it coming from someone who not only agrees with me, but who agrees with me even through her own pregnancy. The only kind of "support" I've ever gotten from post-pregnancy women are "well, I thought that way when I was your age, too, but having you're own really makes it completely different." I agree that most kids are just grubby and nasty. There are only a greatly select few that seem to have been born with propriety and decorum. I was one of them, which is mostly why I just don't understand why kids behave the way they do. So I don't doubt your son is one of them as well. Congrats on the non-icky child lol.
2 people like this
@nancyrowina (3852)
12 Jun 07
I'm not worried by pregnant women but the thought of being pregnant myself does disturb me. It's a strange phobia to have for a woman and I'm glad to see I'm not the only one and that it's actually quite common for a woman not to want children.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jun 07
Thanks so much for your response and support. It is comforting to know you're not alone.
3 people like this
@johndur (3050)
• Pasig, Philippines
23 Jan 08
its not normal to have that kind of fear,you can try consulting a psychiatrist.they can help you overcome your fears....
• United States
24 Jan 08
First of all, psychiatrists don't offer therapy, they prescribe medications. And no, I am not going to "seek help" for not wanting kids.
1 person likes this
@johndur (3050)
• Pasig, Philippines
24 Jan 08
but the only way to conquer fear is to face it....you cant overcome it if you dont fight it.....how about try to get pregnant and then im sure after giving birth you will have overcome that fear already.....
• United States
24 Jan 08
leave me alone you creep! no! there is no way in hell i'm going to "try to get pregnant" just to please your dumb@ss!
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Oct 08
I read a post on another board by a female who had a .. serious reluctance to have children. I think she had some serious man-trust problems, but that's neither here nor there. We have plenty of people in the world. If you don't want to have children, don't. If you kinda want to have children, but they aren't going to be your priority, don't. If you want to have children, and are pretty devoted to them. Don't. If you want to have children and they would be the focus of your life, do. (I had a bad father, please don't blame me for my opinions.) Have a good day. :)
• United States
16 Oct 08
Thank you very much. I completely agree.
1 person likes this