how can someone be so heartless?

@stacyv81 (5906)
United States
June 8, 2007 7:04pm CST
"for those of us who never want kids, yes. Quite frankly, all the emotioanl investment you put into terms like "your baby", "your child", "part of you", your fllesh and blood", it really means absolutely nothing to me. To me, it's an unwelcome parasite that needs to be dealt with and gotten rid of. Not unlike a virus or a tapeworm. But then again, that's just me. There are doezens of different perspectives and dozens of different reasons for not wanting to be pregnant at a specific moment in time" Can you believe this response? I got this in an abortion discussion, I cannot believe it it is really heartless and sad people feel this way! Do you feel this way? Or find it appaling?
20 people like this
45 responses
9 Jun 07
dude... the way i see it there are 2 posibilities: 1. you have serious issues... either your husband told you that he doesn't want the kid when you got pregnant and you murdered him for daring to say such a thing or your mother told you that she was on the verge of having an abortion when she was pregnant with you or 2. you really want mylot trafic and stuff like that. either way, find more variate topics... what do you want to prove? that you are the only sensitive and sain person in the world??? wake up, smell the coffee, face the reality! the world is a huge place, populated with many type of people... acording to you, let's shoot the muslims for the way they treat women, let's kill the japanese for the fact that they torture women's feet and erase africans from the face of the earth for making human sacrifices. dude, maybe your worls is perfect the way you see it. but keep it to yourself and others like you, you can't change the rest few million people out there. ;) and PS: the bible (so sins and stuff) were written by PEOPLE! so they could control naive PEOPLE... just like you.
7 people like this
@razcal2267 (15577)
• United States
9 Jun 07
liana that was not nice. You just made me spit my lemonade out of my mouth and all over my monitor. I can not say that I agree with all that you said but it does appear that she is having an abortion issue in major way tonight. I for one will be staying out of any more of the discussions as I have said my peace about the issue already.
2 people like this
9 Jun 07
sorry about your lemonade and monitor. but sorry, she gor me mad. and don't get wrong, i have NOTHING agains muslims, i have lots of them as friends. i just wanted to make a point. that people should NOT be judged EVER for the decisions they take in their PERSONAL life, in the manner they were raised in and so on!
4 people like this
@razcal2267 (15577)
• United States
9 Jun 07
I totally understand where you are coming from and took it as nothing more then you expressing you opinion on the subject matter it was just the way that you stated it that caught me off guard.
2 people like this
@Shaun72 (15970)
• Palatka, Florida
9 Jun 07
I find it sad and heartless myself. I am scared to have kids becasuse i have multiple sclrosis but at the same time if I did happen to became pregent I would still have the baby and do the best that I could to take care of it I know that i would need help but I would never just give it up.
6 people like this
@stacyv81 (5906)
• United States
9 Jun 07
I agree and I respect you greatly for that! =)
5 people like this
9 Jun 07
and if after you got pregnant the doctor would tell you that there is the risk of you dying... would you still have the baby?
5 people like this
@Shaun72 (15970)
• Palatka, Florida
9 Jun 07
I would wait to see what all of the causes of me dying before I came to abording it.
5 people like this
• United States
9 Jun 07
Well, really, if you don't want to hear opinions like this, then the best advice would be to stop posting discussions of this nature on a public forum. You have to expect that you are going to get responses that don't agree with you on a public site with thousands of people. Not everyone is the same, and you can't find it so offensive every time someone posts something you don't agree with. Whether you find it heartless or not, that person had a right to speak his/her mind and just because you don't like it, that doesn't mean it's 'appalling'. So, yes I can totally believe that response. It's a legitimate opinion about abortion. Some people just don't want to be pregnant, can't afford it, or became pregnant under horrible circumstances. They have the choice to terminate their pregnancy if they want to. In a sense, until the fetus can survive outside the womb and breathe on its own, it IS technically a parasite.
4 people like this
@stacyv81 (5906)
• United States
9 Jun 07
No, I mean I can understand it, and dont really mind that it is someones opinion, I just cant see how someone can be so heartless in the matter of a child. this doesnt call for insults or attacks, I was just wondering if a lot of people felt this way!
4 people like this
9 Jun 07
well, it has been proven to you that they are evil, mean, diabolical persons out there. the world will come to an end that myself and other thousands had abvortions and will have others if we'll have too. get laid dude! it helps calm down frustrations.
3 people like this
• United States
9 Jun 07
Well, I wasn't insulting you... Perhaps you are being a bit too sensitive? I understand this is a sensitive topic, but you seem quite offended that this person gave a response you don't like, and in a way you are insulting that person by calling him/her heartless.
2 people like this
@tinamwhite (3255)
• United States
9 Jun 07
I have been a mother for 30 years.....I could never feel this way.... BUT, I respect this person's right to feel this way....she was not demeaning to you in any manner and did not resort to name calling......she simply stated her opinon and I see nothing wrong with that....
• Pakistan
9 Jun 07
stacyv81: i am a muslim guy.according to me abortion is sin. and according to nature every mom love his/her child more than all.then why they hate to wanna be a mom?they are silly if they do not wanna be parents.its out of nature and nature never breaks.
3 people like this
@stacyv81 (5906)
• United States
9 Jun 07
I agree very much so
5 people like this
@eden32 (3978)
• United States
9 Jun 07
Who said nature dictates that every female will love her offspring? In nature, some creatures eat their offspring. Not suggesting that humans should do the same, just that there is nothing in nature that suggests that it is normal to love your offspring. Some women are not ready to be parents when they become pregnant. It has nothing to do with hating anything, just that it's not right for them at this time. I don't see anything silly about that either. It's making the best decision for you based on what's happening in your life.
7 people like this
@Amstardam (1348)
• United States
9 Jun 07
Why does everyone assume that it's every girls dream to have a baby? I can tell you firsthand it's not "natural" for all woman to automatically be protective and all-loving about the thought of having a child! Some woman have to learn to love their child and if they can't they need to give them to someone who will.
5 people like this
@devilsangel (1821)
• United States
15 Jun 07
I don't find it heartless at all I find it honest. Why would you want that person to pretend to want a child when its so very obvious that they don't. Not everyone likes or wants children and nor do they have to. Who are we to sit and say that everyone must want to have a child and must think a child is special or wonderful? Not everyone feels that way and thats their right. So no I don't find it heartless at all I find it honest.
3 people like this
@stacyv81 (5906)
• United States
22 Jun 07
Well, I find it heartlessly honest. I mean, I think that it is her right to feel that way and my right to find it heartless. I have children and I cant imagine thinking of it as a parasite. I dont think she HAS to do anything, it is ultimately her choice, her right, but then again it is also my right to feel the way I want about her statement. =)
@wiccania (3362)
• United States
9 Jun 07
i know many people who don't want kids, who have taken steps to ensure that they won't have them. but they don't consider them "unwelcome parasites that need to be dealt with and gotten rid of" they just see them as something they don't want in their lives (apart from occasional visits from neices/nephews and the like). to me, this is definitely heartless and appalling. but i guess it's that persons right to feel that way. jsut like it's my right to be repulsed.
3 people like this
@stacyv81 (5906)
• United States
12 Jun 07
yes, I agree, I got a lot of heat for this, but I think just as it is her right to say it I think it is also my right to be appalled, just as you said...=)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Jun 07
That person must have had a traumatic childhood experience. She obviously has emotional wounds from her past. People like this cannot love normally. They have to deal with their personal issues first in order to be able to give love.
2 people like this
@mycharm88 (2292)
• Philippines
9 Jun 07
i'm with you on that ellysmile... c",)
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22993)
• United States
9 Jun 07
"That person must have had a traumatic childhood experience. She obviously has emotional wounds from her past. People like this cannot love normally." pfft I'm sorry but that is quite frankly a big fat load of CRAP....Why would you assume that this person had a traumatic childhood OR for that matter, someone who HAS would take this stand?? My childhood was pure hell on all levels but I love being a mom..I know women who've had wonderful childhoods who feel the same way as the one who posted that....
2 people like this
• Philippines
10 Jun 07
Well congratulations for that matter that even if you didn't have pleasant childhood you still ended up well. Each and everyone of us are unique beings, we respond differently to every different situations.
2 people like this
@judyt00 (3505)
• Canada
18 Jun 07
What's really sad is that you feel you have the right to judge others by your own narrow, ignorant standards. How dare you judge someone as heartless and cruel simply because YOU like kids! I work retail and I wish more of you would have considered abortion when you bring your rude, dirty kids into my store to destroy the place. Then you just smile and say, "aww, isn't that cute." No, its rude and destructive, how about we start charging you with theft every time your kids ruin something you refuse to buy?
2 people like this
• United States
18 Jun 07
A person is entitled to their opinions. Whether you believe in it or not does not make them ignorant. Is everyone who does not agree with you ignorant or lacking education? I am sorry that you have had problems with children in your place of employment. I have three children ranging in age from 3 to 16. I have never allowed my children to run wild or touch much in stores. I do not want them to make a mess as I don't think it is fair to employees. I feel more parents should do the same. I won't even stay in a store if my three year old is being loud. If my child has ever broken anything I have offered to pay for it. As far as charging for things that are ruined (and by ruined I am assuming you mean broken); you technically can't do that. It is what insurance is for. (I recently dropped three glass votive holders in a store and offered to pay for them and they said I did not have to. I offered a second time and they again said no.)
1 person likes this
@judyt00 (3505)
• Canada
18 Jun 07
But then you, mail dumpster aren't trying to tar and feather people who don't feel the same about kids as you, are you? The response was aimed at stacy, and her kids, however many that happens to be.
2 people like this
• United States
18 Jun 07
No I am not. I try to get my point across without having to be harsh. That is just the way I am though. Not everyone is the same as me. My thing is you are being awefully rude about her kids when they might be great little kids who are very well behaved. It is one thing to be angry at the OP and express that anger without having to insult children who you don't even know.
1 person likes this
@lillake (1635)
• United States
9 Jun 07
I wonder if they would say the same to their own mothers. Afterall, they were once unborn children themselves. Then again, to ahve that kind of heartless attitude their own mothers are probably pretty horrible and cruel. They must have been quite abused to see children as parasites.
2 people like this
@stacyv81 (5906)
• United States
10 Jun 07
hmm, so then an old person who can no longer take care of themself and needs help to survive is also then a parasite?
1 person likes this
@stacyv81 (5906)
• United States
10 Jun 07
really? so someone with disablities and such as well? do you think all of those people should just not exist as well?
1 person likes this
@stacyv81 (5906)
• United States
10 Jun 07
wow, sorry to hear about your mother in law.. hope things with that work out. But what about those who have no insurance or those who have no one to take care of them?
2 people like this
@mgmagana (3621)
• United States
9 Jun 07
i could never refer to a fetus or a baby like that, it's pretty disturbing to hear that!
2 people like this
@stacyv81 (5906)
• United States
10 Jun 07
i agree!
2 people like this
@judyt00 (3505)
• Canada
18 Jun 07
If you had more than a grade 10 science education, you wouldn't be so upset about the term parasite
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Jun 07
judy a person could be a PhD and still be offended by someone calling a baby a parasite. That has absolutely nothing to do with education. It has to do with perception. People generally view a parasite as something unwanted like a leech. Yes I do understand that to someone who doesn't want a baby; they could look at it the same. I also understand that by the technical definition of parasite; it would be correct of an unborn baby. Well I have babbled enough. As I said her perception of the use of the term parasite has NOTHING to do with education.
2 people like this
@Foxxee (3654)
• United States
27 Jun 07
I have to agree with you. But I disagree with some of the other comments about a fetus being a [parasite]. First, a FETUS is not a PARASITE and anyone on here that has stating that, is, in fact wrong. You can read some facts about the difference between a fetus and a parasite here: http://www.l4l.org/library/notparas.html And there are many other resources about this whole thing with a fetus being a parasite. Anyway, all I have to say is sometimes people should use their words a little more differently. :]
2 people like this
@Foxxee (3654)
• United States
28 Jun 07
Actually, it makes me correct. I can tell the difference between a fetus and a parasite. I know that a fetus is in fact NOT a parasite. If you flat out just refuse to go to the links, then I guess you will never know the difference. That is your choice. But it doesn't make you right because you refuse to see the facts. It's actually called denial. So whats the point in explaining everything when it's right there for you to read? I know what is what.
1 person likes this
@Foxxee (3654)
• United States
29 Jun 07
Uh huh... Anything else you want to say? I know I proved my point. So I really have nothing else much to say about this. Later.
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22993)
• United States
9 Jun 07
"Can you believe this response? I got this in an abortion discussion, I cannot believe it it is really heartless and sad people feel this way! Do you feel this way? Or find it appaling? " I dont find it heartless, appaulling or anything of the sort! Not everyone feels the same about pregnancy, babies or parenting..we arent carbon copies of each other so why would it be shocking to know that some ppl feel that way?? "There are doezens of different perspectives and dozens of different reasons for not wanting to be pregnant at a specific moment in time" thats very true...and yes to some ppl a fetus IS an invading parasite.. its really not abnormal that some ppl feel that way....i dont see what the big deal is :-/
2 people like this
@stacyv81 (5906)
• United States
22 Jun 07
well, that is fine, you have your right to feel that way and I have my right to be appalled. =)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Jun 07
Whoah.....whoever said that probably did not or never experienced the joy of sharing your life with another. I don't have a child yet but I do understand the sanctity of life and the joy of loving another person. So sad for them never to have experienced that!
2 people like this
@Galena (9124)
19 Jun 07
I do experience the joy of sharing my life with another. someone I love desparately. I want for it to be just me and him, forever.
1 person likes this
@nancyrowina (3852)
12 Jun 07
I can understand the persons point of view I don't want to get pregnant, I use contraception to prevent it however. I don't think it makes you heartless to not want children it's a huge responsibility to raise children and you can screw them up forever if you get it wrong. It's not as if there's a population crisis anyway there are far too many people in the world as it is. You could argue is selfish to bring a child into this crazy world with all it's problems that's how I feel about it at present anyway.
2 people like this
@breepeace (3028)
• Canada
9 Jun 07
I don't get people like you. Abortion is a personal choice. Does what one woman chooses to do affect you in ANY way besides how you let it affect you emotionally? Live and let live. She doesn't want a baby. I completely understand that. I never do either. And that's OUR choice! What gives you the right to stand in judgement of people like us who choose not have children and will do everything within our power to prevent it? You are obviously one of the many who believes they get to have a say on other people's personal happiness. Would I be happy with a baby? I'd probably be just as happy with 2 severed limbs. However, because you feel it's wrong, you get to infringe on my chance at happiness by throwing guilt and criticism at me for making a choice I know is best for me? Just because you don't understand people that feel that way about having children doesn't give you the right to call people heartless.
2 people like this
• United States
9 Jun 07
Well, if you were having a discussion on abortion, then you have to be open to the fact that other people are going to have different opinions to you. This person wasn't abusive or anything in their response, and aknowledged that it was only her opinion, so you can't fault her for how she feels, even if you don't like it. Personally, despite not wanting children, I would still weigh the descision to have an abortion more heavily than getting rid of a tapeworm, but, in the end, an abortion is an abortion, no matter what the reason behind it or weather you agonize over it or not.
2 people like this
@urbandekay (18314)
9 Jun 07
Perhaps, some of these woman are heartless, some may genuinely not be able to make the perspective shift, some have backed themselves into an ideological corner. all the best urban
2 people like this
@bcl_me (583)
• Philippines
9 Jun 07
i totally disaggree also what this person's attitude in life...it seems like she's a real loser...this person is really struggling to survive or in total pain that is why she's saying all these things
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
I know people who are successful in their careers but still are losers in certain ways.
• United States
12 Jun 07
Maybe according to you. However, your opinions are not universal, so therefore you are not automatically right.
2 people like this
• Philippines
13 Jun 07
Yeah same with you... Why did I say that I am right in the 1st place?
1 person likes this
@dio123 (1790)
• India
13 Jun 07
Women always love to have a baby, baby of her own whom she has given birth, Yes I agree their may be some genuine reason to postpone a child birth for sometime But Abortion is a sin, if anybody conceive a baby their duty is to give the baby a life it comes only to those whom God Choose !
• United States
14 Jun 07
Clam I am just playing devil's advocate so please don't get upset with me but..... what if you hooked up with someone (ie married) with money to spare so finances would no longer be an issue; would your mind change then? I am just wondering as it seems to be your main reason for not wanting a child. (well at least the one you post most often)
3 people like this
• United States
14 Jun 07
As I said I was not challenging your decision; only noticing that you often cite money as your reason. I didn't mean you should or would get married; I meant only that level of commitment. Thanks for replying and doing so with respect. I hope I have shown you the same.
4 people like this
• United States
14 Jun 07
NO not at all. I don't think marriage makes a difference in respect level. Nor do I have anything against people who choose not to get married. Me and my hubby were friends for 6 years before dating, dated/engaged for 6 years before marriage and a few of those years we lived together. (yeah, yeah to all you who might jump on me for that we were 'living in sin' but we felt married regardless) We have been married almost 9 years now. But no; marriage is not needed for respect and I hope I didn't give that impression.
4 people like this