Does being single means........available?

India
June 9, 2007 9:24am CST
I have been married for over 12 years and recently got seperated. I am a working woman and stay alone. I always see guys (even married ones and those even old enough to be my father) trying to flirt with me and asking me for a date and more. I am enjoying my freedom and i am clear that i do not want another guy in my life whatsover reasons. Why can't they leave me alone?
9 people like this
27 responses
@latsmom (824)
10 Jun 07
lol I know how you feel. I have been single now for 2 years after coming from a bad relationship that I was in for 8. I would eventually like to settle down with someone but it is horrible when people just assume because you don't have a boyfreind that they fit the bill to fill it lol.
• India
10 Jun 07
Hi latsmom! I am sure you too have felt releaved after coming out of the bad relationship. I sure did.I feel that the Guys are looking not for commiting themself but because they feel that a single or seperated person is an easy lay.Thanks for your response.
1 person likes this
• India
9 Jun 07
Nice that you have been able to identify those wolves in the sheep clothing. Always keep a watch on those guys.Give them polite reply once or twice, even then if they continue to haunt you, then severe links with them,avoid them.
2 people like this
• India
10 Jun 07
Thanks for the support. My friend tells me that it is a typical mentality of men to want another evenif they are in a stable relationship. Nice of you to respond to my discussion.
1 person likes this
• Switzerland
16 Aug 07
Err, I don't know why they can't leave you alone, there must be something wrong with them. lol Seriously, now, we're talking about guys here. When do we ever understand them? The more you display disinterest in them, the more they chase you. And they find it very hard to be monogamous. (No offense to good guys out there!) I'd say just make it clear from the very beginning that you're not seeking, that you're single but you're not ready to mingle...yet. Who knows, your Prince may just be 'round the corner. :)
• India
12 Jun 07
Hi nice to see someone from india especially from aamchi mumbai.Nice discussion sp i'll try to be honest.See this is the problem with some men or lets say most men..that when they see a single woman or even an engaged one they'd wanna try their luck.You being single makes it all the more appealing.Now the fact that you have just seperated makes you the near perfect kind of person to starting to flirt with..I am sorry to say but many of them would be thinking already about their chances with you in BED,especially noticing that you stay alone.You seem mature enough to realise that aren't you.Also some guys dont seem to understand the relationship entirely,,sometimes you may be interested in helthy friendship and the moment you start loosening up and having fun they seem to take it as a signal to YOU KNOW WHAT!! So do hell with those types.You are independent,single working...so go out and have some fun dear!!MEN will be MEN.
• India
12 Jun 07
Hi Darkhorse! You are absolutely right on everything you have written. Being an Indian make it even more difficult for me to be behave like a loose woman. I would appreciate a healthy friendship from a man, but that's it. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
• India
12 Jun 07
Much appreciated!!
@healwell (1268)
• Ahmedabad, India
18 Sep 07
Our society and its standards and norms are so odd in relation to the individual freedom concept so that such kind of occurrences affect an individual woman! The fact some time disturbs because those who really believe in freedom and have deep understanding about the human relationship are very rare in our Indian society: Even in progressive societies have such issues related with freedom oriented women! I think by saying this clearly and repeatedly you will be able to get the ratio down and even drop down at zero level too! New age (or say this century and onward) has some thing really positive for such thing!
• India
7 Oct 07
Hi healwell! Very well said. Thanks for your wonderful response. I liked it.
• Pakistan
22 Jun 07
in this age of life single has some times importance over the married persons when they are at the job. And girls give first prefrence to the single man or woman. But when they have to go to rent a houme or house then they are not preffered at this stage.
1 person likes this
• India
22 Jun 07
Hi atif_shahzadi! Career is more important than anything else. I am a Banker and my houseowner happens to be a high authority in the police department. Home for me is a private space and i never let anyone intrude my privacy in any manner.Anyways, thanks for responding.
@smoke_gun (1243)
• Malaysia
20 Jun 07
im sorry to say like that,but its real.i found that indian social community environment is very unhealthy that men always being like a hero or rameo to ladies and they absolutely didnt understand whats the meaning of "respect".they always thought they have power and charming enough to conquer and enslave ladies and that is what happiness should be but absolutely they are not.i think you should teach them some manners to treat ladies.
1 person likes this
• India
21 Jun 07
Hi Danny! I have always been more than willing to teach some men 'manners' as you say. Men do try to get a woman to bed but once they find it's not possible with that person they would start to respect. This has happened with me. Some of my good friends now are people who have approached me earlier with 'other' intentions. Thanks for the understanding.
• India
12 Jun 07
well i think that in some cases single means "available". lol.. actually i think that it depends upon person to person and his/her extent of desperation. lol...
1 person likes this
• India
12 Jun 07
Hi heysushant! Single does'nt always mean availble. So genaralisattion should not be done.Thanks for your response.
@samson1967 (7422)
• India
12 Jun 07
When a female is single and good looking, many men will try to apply to get her. It is a mans mentality to give security to the single female. It is up to the female to reject or accept. Once she reject, man will stop his attempts.
1 person likes this
• India
12 Jun 07
Hi samson! You are right about that.But the main intention of a man is to get the female to bed nott seccurity as you say. Very few men are looking at commiting or providing security. Thanks for your response.
• United States
10 Jun 07
Sorry to say, it's the name of the game. Men will be men, the hunters, the lookers, the conquors. They go after women, and they always will. So, just let them know up front what your intensions are. If they respect you, they will back off. If not, don't bother with them. Being single is great, if you are happy that way.
1 person likes this
• India
11 Jun 07
Hi margie! You are absolutely right there. Man are men afterall. Thanks for expressing your opinion here.
@CEN7777 (858)
• India
20 Aug 07
NO , If somebody thinks like that. Than he doesnot understand woman. U r decision is always matter, whatever be the reason. U can always enjoy a healthy life alone.
1 person likes this
@youless (94251)
• Guangzhou, China
17 Aug 07
I think "available" is a very suitable description for single persons. It means that you can go out with anyone you like and you can accept anyone. You are free. You don't have to be guilty because you are still single.
1 person likes this
@Sharon38 (1915)
• Jamaica
16 Aug 07
Guys will be guys thats all. Its there duty to sniff aroung and test out what they beleive is the next available women to be conguered. Have you ever seen the dogs? Which gender initiate the smelling of one another? The male of course. They are just being themselves I guess. Ignore them and continue to enjoy your freedom girl.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56531)
• Delhi, India
13 Jun 07
Lovely, it is really sickening to read the attitude of males ....as you have mentioned. Such is the mentality of sick and perverted minded people...that they think....that everybody can be flirted and in your words everyone (girl/female) is free to date with them. Really it is very disgusting on their part. I agree that you should be allowed your complete freedom and independence.... best course of action would be simply to say big "NO" to them...and if that cannot be done...just igone them completely. (I think that No body has got any right to intrude into your privacy or your personal life) Have a Nice Day! deepak
• India
13 Jun 07
Hi Deepak! Nice of you to support me. I feel so too. I always do say a 'NO'to these sort of guys.Thanks for your response.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56531)
• Delhi, India
13 Jun 07
Lovely ! You are welcome! (One thought which came into my mind after posting my reply...that it is really very difficult for you to distinguish between a genuine person and a non-genuine person...those who approach you for their silly things...anyway I believe you are experienced enough and may be able to distinguish between the genuine and a dishonest person.) (I also believe if you are strong enough nobody can intrude your privacy) Deepak
• India
27 Jun 07
Being in Sales & Marketing gives you that skill of differentiating.
1 person likes this
@kawaii24 (520)
• Australia
12 Jun 07
No, being single doesnt mean your availble...its a matter of choice. I am happy being single and dont plan to have any relationship in the near future...going to enjoy every single minute of my life :)
• India
12 Jun 07
Hi kawaii24! Thanks for the understanding. I like it this way too. I too am not on the look out of a man. Thanks for your response.
• South Korea
28 Nov 07
you can just tell them directly, you enjoy your freedom,plese keep you alone.
• United States
16 Nov 07
I think being single can mean what you want it to mean. The two don't necessarily go hand in hand. I have many friends who are single and they also are enjoying their freedom and enjoying being single and they have no interest in anything more than just dating occassionally. So, for them I would say that single does not mean available.
@izathewzia (5142)
• Philippines
10 Oct 07
I don't think so that when you are single you are very much vavailable. because I have this experienced in my life, when I was still single I was so workaholic that having a romantic relationship was too far from my life. Whgen i became a manager of a fast food chain at the age of 20, i keep on seeking for promotion. Until I reached 27, that was the only time, I got this liking of entering into relationship and eventually settled down.
@prazad (281)
• India
10 Oct 07
ha ha.. because you are a girl. Most of the men think that if you are single or divorced means you are available for dating. If you do not like thin you stop flirting with them then tell them directly that you want to be single. i think after that they will stop. :)
@subha12 (18453)
• India
10 Oct 07
there are some cruel people they think in this way. you are married, single or separated, they feel the same way. I think these people should be heavily punished for their wrong doings and its good you have identified them.