Broken Friendship

broken friendship - friendship
@add_im (2712)
Philippines
June 10, 2007 11:08pm CST
Am I doing things justly enough? I have this question in my mind once I received a text message from my x-friend who's having a misunderstanding with my parents just recently due of her immaturity and judgmental ways of life's outlook. The whole thing is she has been listening to all roaming rumors done by some of our gossip neighbors here which tells bad feedbacks about my parents which are not true, and at the same time using my parents names in order for my x-friend to get mad at them without even my parents knowing the whole thing and reasons about her bad feelings towards them...people out there just brainwashed her mind enough to feel deep anger towards my parents. As far as our relationship before as friends are concerned, we truly are a good friends and my parents role in her life playing as her mentors, but now things have change because of her own doings that cause damage to our friendship relationship. Back to my question a while back, 'Am I doing things fairly to not just answer her text messages back against my parents' just to avoid deep misunderstandings and confusions? Do I have just to let it all pass from my ways and not letting my parents know all this for them not to get so much hurt of what had happened? I'm just really concerned about this whole thing happened between my parents and my x-friend. Please help! Please I need your advice and open honest opinions from all of you here. Thanks!
1 person likes this
4 responses
@derek_a (10902)
11 Jun 07
As painful as things may be sometimes, I feel that things need to come out into the open. And when things are serious like this, not by text or email but face to face. Personally, I would need to confront the neighbours who are doing the malicious gossiping and take my friend with me to sort it all out. Gossips who tell lies, tend to hate this sort of thing when confronted and often either refuse to talk about it, (in which case it would prove they're telling lies) or will admit that it is only a rumour. As this gossiping is the source of the problems, to bring it out into the open should stop it. Your friend needs to realise that feeling anger towards your parents without knowing the full story will only turn her/him into a bitter person and she should always go on her experience of how your parents are with her. I would also say, that if you parents are not aware of what's going on, she need to be told about it, so they too can put an end to such behaviour. In summary, I guess what I am saying here is wherever there are lies and conealments bring out the truth. There is a saying that the truth will see you free - and I believe that is so. Good luck with what you decide to do, for the decision has to be yours because you are in the middle of it all :-)
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@add_im (2712)
• Philippines
11 Jun 07
You are right derek, I am the middle of it all and this hurt even more because I don't want to be in favor any of them as I don't want to get involve. But in all honesty, even if I don't want to be in favor any of them knowing that she tries to be an enemy to my own parents without even giving enough reason why she's feeling this way towards them, then I should say I would defend my parent's dignity and rights because I do believe that for no reason at all she has trying to cause damage with their reputations to other people around and that's fairly not right at all. So, as our part we have done everything just to settle things with her, but like I said to one of my other comment from the other responder, there is nothing more we can do about it if she herself never wants to showed up so we could fixed things out with her face to face. Thanks for sharing.
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@derek_a (10902)
11 Jun 07
Yes, I know it is difficult and you don't want to be involved. But because it is your parents and your friend, I am afraid you are involved. If she will not talk with you face to face and see the truth, you will need patience - the truth always finds a way of showing itself - good luck :-)
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@add_im (2712)
• Philippines
11 Jun 07
As I can clearly see things now, I'm afraid myself that maybe then I am now involved with their misunderstandings because as I have noticed regarding her actions towards me the day before I know that she have the anger feelings towards my parents, she became cold to me and her treatment I can feel in me that something isn't right at all. I do believe the said saying 'that the truth will set us free'...and that's what i'm holding on and longing for the day that all this things will be cleared up, I just truly want peace and love in our family and even outside to our neighborhood but it seems to me that only us doing this part, so to speak. How sad it would truly be? but life must go on, so be it.
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• United States
12 Jun 07
This is a difficult situation. Normally, if the situation was just between you and this x-friend, I would say it is best to ignore her. However, since your parents are involved and the neighbors are involved, your parents are going to here it from someone. It is best if they hear it from you. I would tell your parents. I would respond to the x-friend and set the record straight about what is right and what is not. Then I would tell her that is it. I no longer want to discuss this.
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@add_im (2712)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
It really is a very difficult situation hun, knowing that everyone are getting involved. But honestly for now, my family we're just trying to calm down from whatever things may happened but rather we just continue on praying for those people who wronged us and judging our actions for no reasons at all...they are accountable for their own deeds I believe and for us we just surrender everything to Jesus and we just let God work things out for us. Thanks for sharing.
@tigerdragon (4297)
• Philippines
11 Jun 07
your friend is not worth your time, i mean your estranged friend, if you can still call her your "friend".I assume she is a female, she is not worth to your friend and not worth a a cent just to send her a text message to answer her.let her be and what ever she says just don't mind it and don't get affected by her evil ways.she just wants attention.yes, there will be a lot of emotional blackmails but just let her be in her nasty world and may she rot in...as long as you know you are living in a very decent life then people would realize that she wrong.
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@add_im (2712)
• Philippines
11 Jun 07
That's what i'm thinking deeply now, if she has been truly a genuine friend to us she won't do things which to destroy our friendship and trust in her. But from all this things happened now, it's hard to put my trust back in her and yes I can still forgive her likewise my parents with her but our trust in her wouldn't be the same like it was from the past. Thanks for sharing.
• New Zealand
11 Jun 07
It sounds more like a lack of communication on all parties, your parents, your friend and yourself. Try talking to each, try to get everyone together and talk through the problem and see where things went wrong.
@add_im (2712)
• Philippines
11 Jun 07
In some sort of ways yeah I believe maybe this is why it happened. This person has really had the gutts to ruin things everywhere when she get any chances to talk about you negatively towards other people if she can't see you for few days...I'm not trying to be a judgmental person now, but even myself has noticing this kind of behavior towards herself back when were still okay in our friendship. Maybe probably this is one thing she came up to just to ruin our friendship and my parents reputations. Thanks for sharing.