have you ever felt like this???

@maribea (2366)
Italy
June 11, 2007 5:23am CST
First of all...my heart and my soul are even more complicated than usual..let's say, if you look inside me, you can see only...mess and confusion!!! but have you ever felt like me? have you ever desperately needed a friend, someone who could comfort you, could speak with you and be a presence in your life, someone who could hold you in his/her arms when you needed it the most?? but have you ever been afraid of the only idea of him/her falling in love with you so to decide to lose him/her even this would cost you very much? have you ever found love impossible to bear in your life because of how you felt inside? because it was the worst period for love in your life?? ok, this discussion seems rather a mess, too..so definitely, it comes from my heart... waiting for your thoughts and feelings!!!!
6 people like this
16 responses
@polachicago (19143)
• United States
11 Jun 07
friends - group of friends
Time is never good or bad for friendship and love. I would say that some people expectations make us feel this way. I do agree that sometimes we have to spend time alone to clear our mind and body. We all need love and friendship. When in love, we still need room for ourselves. We need to grow, but it is hard to grow in each other shade. You definitely going to meet you love, because you deserved it. When time is right, people are coming. I wish I can hug you and walk with you on streets of Rome or Chicago. We can walk and talk about everything... Our mind is creating big mess sometimes, but you are in charge to stop this now and smile to yourself. Wise man told me years ago how to smile to inside. I met him 2 months after my divorce. He helped me to understand my feelings, the universe and the beauty of this world. I recommend reading The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. “First we have a question; then dreams, daydreams, and intuitions lead us towards the answers, which usually are synchronistically provided by the wisdom of another human being.” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60IFSoqCThc (((((((((maribea)))))))))
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
11 Jun 07
oh how I wish we lived in the same place..I would love walking with you and speaking about everything..you are already such a good friend to me!!!
1 person likes this
@polachicago (19143)
• United States
11 Jun 07
maybe when time is right, you can visit my place here in Chicago....:)))
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
11 Jun 07
Yes, i think we have all been through that. It makes you feel like your a jumbled mess within your heart and mind, you don't know which way to go, what to do, so on. I am in love with the man of my dreams right now and when we first fell in love I thought to myself if I give myself completely over to him mind and heart, taht I will be lost if he breaks my heart, there was so much confusion and fear, but I did and I am very happy. Sometimes you just gotta take risks.
2 people like this
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
11 Jun 07
thank you for saying that you know how I am feeling and that you felt the same as me..I am so happy for you and I wish you two all the best..as myself is concerned, I think I need time..and yes of course life, just like love, is a matter of risk but before risking you'd better think twice or more.. thank you very much, indeed
2 people like this
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I agree with you, in matters of the heart, you must think things through and make sure you are ready to take that step ahead to another level. It is not easy that is for sure and it also brings much confusion and fear and so much more. You are right to take time to think and mull everything over before making a decision. Take care and don't worry things always work themselves out!
2 people like this
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
11 Jun 07
dear maribea, i have recently gone through divorce - the impossible thing actually became possible!! i have had never thought things would take this course and i seriouslywanted to reverse the fate. but somethings in life are not in our hands. i feel, love is something which we cannot control. we cannot control falling in love, we cannot control its course and we cannot control the outcome - desirable and not so desirable. i have found that my love was akways been vulnerable, i was in a constant fear of losing it. when we love something or someone dearly, the fear of losing it kills us consistently. now that i have lost my love and apparently i have nothing else to lose, i thought i would be better off. but dear, i fear losing my parents now. it kills me... so, its an ongoing process and as long as love will stay the fear of losing it will be there as a tag. good luck maribea.
2 people like this
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
11 Jun 07
my dear dear mimpi...your words touched me very much. I do thank you for opening your heart to me and for sharing your experience..yes love is unpredictable..and this is the reason why I cannot face the ups and downs of love..not now..I am not strong enough. but I am sad because i lost a friend and all my friends are very special for me
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
11 Jun 07
i am sorry to hear that. words are poor comforter, i know, but my heart goes out for you. pls cheer up. ups and downs make life what it is and the beauty lies in sailing through leaving behind our mark. love and hugs..
1 person likes this
@navtech (1776)
• India
11 Jun 07
Hi, maribea, I really felt the same way as you have expressed in this discussion. I joined a MNC company as an officer at a good salary. I was so happy working with them for six months. Abruptly I was told we have more people were working in your department. Management had taken decision to send out last who came. I was axed being the last employee joined in that department. I was so depressed and confused. I want someone to console me for the loss. Actually I am qualified and easily got an another job in a big company within 3 days. That is different issue; but the bad confused feeling I had for 2 days something I never forgot.
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
11 Jun 07
thanks for sharing your experience with me
• India
12 Jun 07
just feel like you don't have any boundation in your mind. think that your mind is like a bird who can fly in the space of it's thought without any pressure of others. and try to enjoy the beauty of nature it will make you comfort and if you are fond of true love than please wait for it will come one day automatically in your life don't try to find it. from mohit
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
12 Jun 07
yes...I wish I could fly...fly away from bad thoughts and memories..and it is getting better now..thanks for the support
@yxdxhx (5)
• China
12 Jun 07
It seems that ,you need a friend ,many friends in you life. Because I have many many friens in my life.so I have no a fell like you. And I want give you an advice,go out ,give some smile to other people.and other people also give you that .you will happy ,so .that's my idea.
1 person likes this
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
12 Jun 07
my best friends live away from me and yes I do need a friend here..only one good friend and life will be better..anyway I am starting feeling better now and I am concentrating on all the beautiful people I know here and else where
@MJLami (1173)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I could be way off the mark here but I think you're describing me. I fell for someone 8 years ago. He wasn't ready for it or just not wanting me. Instead of just telling me he tried to give me to the "gay" neighbor who became a full-blown stalker to me, knowing I had no interest in this person and wasn't ever going to. It didn't matter, I was "property" to control/manipulate, abuse, etc. I dated trying to find someone who could care for me and stop this creep too. In then end I sold my house and moved hundreds of miles to put an end to what no mortal ever seemed able to. I'm a mess inside for sure. I still can't believe this happened and all because I was caring for someone (not the stalker). Now I can't seem to connect with anyone. I don't even bother dating anymore, it seems pointless.
1 person likes this
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
12 Jun 07
i hope you find the inner peace we all need and as soon as possible then you will decide when and if you ready for letting somebody "touch" you. I am sending you my understanding and sympathy
@azimsay (546)
• India
11 Jun 07
I also felt like you. That is not my fault because Iwas not think over about that and that happened.
1 person likes this
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
12 Jun 07
i don't consider it a matter of fault or not..the fact is that this situations can ruing something beautiful and I am sorry I lost a friend..but anyway, I have to be sincere and I am neither considering anything more than a friend or I am looking for some romance in my life..not now..not in this way
@tater03 (1765)
• United States
11 Jun 07
Since it seems you are going through a lot in your personal life I believe that it is normal to feel this way. I would just take it one day at a time. I knoe what it is like to have your life seem like it is in upheavel and it will never get better. But it will and one day you will look back on it and be proud of how you made it throught this.
1 person likes this
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
12 Jun 07
thank you very much for your encouragement..indeed I appreciate it very much!
@wrdsofwisdm (1070)
• United States
11 Jun 07
Maribea, I too have been in this situation. I have had men play the "friend" role and have accepted their friendship. When this happens and you get the feeling that there are slight changes in their behavior that do not resemble "just friends", then you have to tell yourself that they were not completely honest from the start and had the hidden agenda of wanting more than friendship. If you think about it that way, it is easier to accept the loss of a friend that was not completely honest with you from the start. As for love, we all need to take a break from it once in a while. That is where I am at too. I haven't been on a date in a year. I decided to focus on myself and make some changes in my career. It gets lonely sometimes, but I would rather focus on this without the drama that comes with relationships. How does the old saying go? That which does not kill you only can only make you stronger. ;) Tu cuore e robusto.
1 person likes this
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
11 Jun 07
i feel the loss of my friend very much..but I am too scared to afford anything..yes of course I am trying to find a solution to my problems..I was left with a very miserable heart and I must say I did a great job putting my owm pieces together..but now I am far from being safe and healthy.I am just like a baby who has just learnt how to stand still and who is not supposed to walk for long...so I need help and I wish I could walk...a mess!!! this is a mess!!! but I am working on it..and of course I hope I can find a meaning in what I am living..and I hope I will be stronger in the end..thanks for coming here and supporting me!!!
• United States
11 Jun 07
The light that shines at the end of the darkness is the healing that you need. Just continue to work through the pain as it builds us up for future endurance. Many of us have to endure the pain of life just to emerge strong and able to help others who experience similar devastation. Joy will come and you will once again smile and enjoy life.
1 person likes this
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
12 Jun 07
thank you for this wonderful words
• China
11 Jun 07
Hello,maribea.ur discussion is not an easy topic to talk about ,at least can`t express it in several words. i never have this feeling of falling in love with some of my closed friends,they r just my friends ,and i am so clear of this.maybe some day ,i lose my love or have a big failure in my career or other sorrow affairs.I will turn to him immediately and even have a good cry on his shoulder.I can talk with him anytime about anything .But i can still realize that he is my only best friend .He can protect me ,he can comfort me ,he can have fun on me ,and we r the best friends on this world,this is called friendship. I think ,maribea,maybe u have encounted some matter about this ,but i want to tell you that ,don`t afraid of making friend with him\her.If she\he deserved to be made.Just do it.If he\she do can be ur lover ,why not have a try? If it can`t be,i think u can also keep the best relationship.
1 person likes this
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
11 Jun 07
the fact is that I want him to be only a friend and nothing more and I cannot bear the idea of somebody falling in love with me..it is because I am avoiding love now..but if a friend falls in love with you, then it is the end of the friendship at least for me that I am so afraid of love at the moment
• India
12 Jun 07
just feel like you don't have any boundation in your mind. think that your mind is like a bird who can fly in the space of it's thought without any pressure of others. and try to enjoy the beauty of nature it will make you comfort and if you are fond of true love than please wait for it will come one day automatically in your life don't try to find it. from mohit
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jun 07
My dearest friend, Yes, I have periods when I feel all messed up and confused. It is only normal to want to be with those that love you in order to find comfort and understanding; you want to be held in the arms of the man you love and the only thing you want to hear is that everything will be all right... Being in love however is something that cannot be stopped - its a noble feeling that is selfless and comes from the heart; you can never say I will not fall in love now, because I don't feel like it, we will see how I feel tomorrow. My sincere advice to you is take one day at a time, think positive and enjoy simple things in life like a sunrise, sunset,birds chirping and the fact that you are healthy, have the ability to work and fend for yourself - the rest will come. Hugs and kisses, Magdalena.
1 person likes this
@bcl_me (583)
• Philippines
11 Jun 07
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1 person likes this
• United States
11 Jun 07
i have that feeling when i am hungry