While I was in the store

@TerryZ (22083)
United States
June 11, 2007 12:57pm CST
Yesterday I was shopping at walmart and of course thats were you can find my on sunday. So I went by a lady and her child was in the cart and he was screaming and crying. And the lady didnt pay any attention to him. It was like she didnt have a kid with her. I could hear the poor kid crying 2 ailes down. I know nothing about raising children but I certainly wouldnt let my kid scream and cry the whole time shopping. Everyone was looking at her too. Why do some parents ignore their children like that?
4 people like this
20 responses
• United States
12 Jun 07
I'm really not sure why.I see it alot too.Alot of people have become desensitize I supposed because they hear their kid scream alot.I always tried to pay attention to mine.
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
15 Jun 07
Thanks for sharing with me
• United States
12 Jun 07
ugh, I hate when this happens. Both when it's someone elses kid and when it's me having to take care of said screaming kid. Although sometimes kids need to be ignored so that they do not learn that screaming and yelling is the best way to get their way, most of the time I see parent's ignoring thier children even when the kid hurts themselves. I don't buy into the whole "it makes the kid tough" idea.
3 people like this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
12 Jun 07
I know. I wouldnt have minded it but the kid didnt shut up. I think she should have taken the kid out of the store.
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
12 Jun 07
Without knowing the circumstances maybe it was the only way it could be dealt with. If you have a young child who insists on having a tantrum there is often little that parents can do about it. It makes it worse if those parents then feel that everyone else is looking at them and judging them by the behaviour of their child. I remember a situation where my young niece ran away from my sister as she wasn't allowed a lolly she wanted. When we caught her, she wriggled so much and put on such a scene that it took 2 of us to be able to control her enough to get her out of the supermarket.
3 people like this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
12 Jun 07
Thanks for sharing with me.
• United Arab Emirates
12 Jun 07
The situation here is little tricky. may be the child is crying for something that he wont get. some children just keep crying until they get that particular item. I too feel bad seeing any kids cry. I faced a similar situation. My baby started crying for the sample mobile phones kept for display. He need that and started crying. We checked with the sales person that if i could buy the sample mobile from them. They said they do not have a another set. At last we had to leave the shopping center. My child was crying all the way till we reached our car. Everybody was staring at us that time. we felt so bad and that's why we left the shopping mall. Parents find it difficult sometimes to handle the kids in a public place. I understand the problem only after having a kid.
3 people like this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
12 Jun 07
Yes I understand and I wish that lady would have taken her kid out of the store too.
• United States
12 Jun 07
i too used to get upset and ask this question continusly. That was until i had a child of my own. I have to think long and hard each time i want to shop before i actuially go, i find my self asking is this going to be a good day or a not so good shopping expiernce. When you take your child (age depending) most of them have tantrums when they see something that they want adn you refuse to give it to them. I know one time when my daughter was 2 (terrible twos) we we3re shopping and she wanted a toy noth that i didnt want to get it for her but i didnt have the extrera cash and i was already running late, i just wanted to get what i needed and go. Well because i wouldnt give it to her she strated screaming throwing a fit, throwing everything out of the carraige, biting etc etc. i found the more i tried to stop her from doing so the more she did. so i ignored her and just walked around as if she wasnt crying, eventually she stopped but at least she was just crfying and not making anymore of a scenece. Children do things for attention, if you dont like what there doing IGNORE them or they will contiue because they KNOW they are getting attention that way.
2 people like this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
12 Jun 07
Thanks for sharing with me.
@maehan (1445)
• United States
12 Jun 07
I can understand why the lady ignore her kid. Probably the kid is throwing tantrum, or insist to buy something where the mom say no. Some kid will take advantage on the parent when their parent try to talk to them, they will scream even louder trying to catch attention and attempt to try whether the parent will give in. This is what I guess. I am lucky is that my children did not yell or scream in public coz they felt embarrasse when ppl look at them.
2 people like this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
12 Jun 07
Thanks for sharing with me.
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
12 Jun 07
people like her isn't worthy of the title "parents". they don't care at all. i wonder why these people are so irresponsible when in the first place, they always want to be called good parents. just letting a baby cry in public or at home isn't healthy for the child. and atleast, the mother should have tried to figure out why the baby is crying. ... anne
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
12 Jun 07
Right I do agree.
@jbb316 (1779)
• United States
11 Jun 07
Sometimes when kids are being bad parents get so sick and tired and fed up with it. They try everything and cannot get the child to listen or behave. The only thing they can do is to let them cry and PRAY they stop soon. Sometimes you can't help it. We parents cant always leave the store we are in. It could be because we are getting something we have to get. We have no choice and there is no one else to watch our child while we shop. Some children like to scream for attention. And as parents, a last resort for us is to ignore them and maybe they will stop soon. I am so sorry for those who do not have children and who this annoys. It is not always our fault as parents.
2 people like this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
12 Jun 07
Thanks for sharing with me.
@carlaabt (3505)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I've had to just ignore my son before. If I gave him whatever he wanted everytime he wanted something, he would be so spoiled and think that he automatically got something just for throwing a fit. I've only had to ignore him while we were shopping a couple of times, and he usually quits crying pretty quickly, but really there isn't much else I could do at the time. People always say to get the child out of the situation, but sometimes that just isn't practical. We currently live around 20 miles from Walmart, the mall, etc. We are getting ready to move almost 20 miles further away. It's not practical to just not buy groceries because our toddler is acting out. We can't afford to go several days in a row just to get the stuff we need. Don't get me wrong, we don't continue to take our time while shopping, and if both of us are there, one will usually take him out to the car while the other one finishes shopping and pays, but we do go ahead and get what we need. We do try to get his attention focused on something else and avoid the meltdowns if we can. Usually it works, but sometimes it doesn't.
2 people like this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
11 Jun 07
Thanks for sharing with me
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
11 Jun 07
Well sometimes Terry it doesn't matter what you do the Child will not stop I mean I never ignored mine and the only one out of my 2 that used to play up like that was Mel I used to get so embarrassed I would not carry on shopping I would just pay for what I had managed to get and go home, I would then have to go out again when Madam had finished throwing her Tantrums lol But I have noticed to that Parents just seem to ignore them and I don't know how they can
2 people like this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I know I couldnt ignore them either.
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
11 Jun 07
It can be completely uncomfortable for everyone involved when a child is screaming like that. More often than not a parent is probably try to ignore the tantrum/screaming to show the child that tactrums will not get them what they want. I have had to do it myself. It is embarrassing and you worry that it looks like you are a bad parent, but it has to be done. I do believe though, that at some point if my child keeps screaming in a public place like that I need to remove him from the situation all together until he is able to calm down. You have to know your child really well. I have been known to leave a shopping cart full of stuff and go outside to sit with my son telling him all the while, "as soon as you calm down.......". Parenting is a tough job, and you deal with tantrums and screaming fits as they come at you. No two are ever alike so you do the best you can with what you have.
2 people like this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
11 Jun 07
It certainly sounds like your a great mom. Hats off to you!
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8709)
• United States
11 Jun 07
Sometimes a parent has to just ignore their child if they are throwing a fit in a store regarding an item that they want and the parent says no. I am not sure of the circumstance with this lady and child, but I have been in Walmart with my daughter once and she wanted me to buy her a stuffed animal. I told her no, we didn't have the money for it. She went into a fit. Yelling and screaming. It was very embarrassing, but I was not going to give into her. I finished my shopping~ very stressed out~ while she screamed in the cart. I tend to not judge parents when they have screaming kids as I have experienced it first hand.
2 people like this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
11 Jun 07
Right I figured it had to be something like that. But I felt so bad for him.
@wiccania (3360)
• United States
12 Jun 07
i have to admit that i have to do this from time to time. my son throws fits when he can't have something he wants or can't do something he wants. because he's non-verbal, he doesn't really understand explainations. so he screams. i'd rather let him scream than give in all the time (i do give in sometimes). i usually start by trying to calm him down or soothe him, but if that doesn't work i ignore it. i actually had someone laugh as they passed because i was telling him "if you think you're embarassing me, save your breath, i don't embarass that easily." i realize that it makes people uncomfortable, but i've also found that when they come up and say something they're even more uncomfortable when i inform them that he's autistic. it's almost like i've said he has the plague... they get this look and hurry away like they'll catch it
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
12 Jun 07
Awwwww thats sad. Sometimes people can be so cruel. Pay not attention to them. Thanks for sharing with me.
@wiccania (3360)
• United States
13 Jun 07
it's ok. when they run away real fast i tend to call after them "run! it's contagious! you're gonna catch the autism!!!!" which usually makes anyone else in the area laugh, and diffuses any tension.
1 person likes this
@cherhost (1073)
• United States
15 Jun 07
ok so my kid does that every now and then. i just carry cookies and suckers in my purse at all times. when she is crying like that i pull out the sucker and that is the end of it. some parents just feel that ignoring their kid it will show them that they will not get their way all the time. i agree in the home but out in public not ever a little. i feel that i need to respect my fellow shoppers
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
15 Jun 07
Thats how I feel too.
@kareng (7980)
• United States
13 Jun 07
That is the kind of person that has no business having kids! I hate to see this kind of thing. I would of told her to take care of her kid. You didn't say how old the child was but it really doesn't matter.
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
13 Jun 07
Oh I wanted to but I was afraid she would punch me out.LOL
@estherlou (5017)
• United States
12 Jun 07
As an older person who lives with her husband...no kids at home anymore, I've noticed that parents tend to tune out their kids, either in self-defense or just because. They can tune out the most incredible and loud noise from their children that would just drive me nuts. So, either she is tuning him out, or is just used to his crying and doesn't pay much attention. It's hard to say. I certainly wouldn't be comfortable in a store with my kid screaming constantly!
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
12 Jun 07
You got it.LOL
@hoghoney (3749)
• United States
12 Jun 07
Well if you dont have any kids let me say that sometimes in the stores kids will start begging for things and when they are told no then they will start screaming and cring and sometimes can make a scene. My kids have done that when they were little but I always to them aside and til I got them quite down and tell them why I was not getting what ever they wanted and then they were ok with it. And then there are some that just let their kids do that and not say nothing about it.
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
15 Jun 07
Thanks for sharing with me
• United States
12 Jun 07
This was one of the ways that our psychologist told us to help our son understand the difference between good and bad behavior. His theory is that when you give them attention during a temper tantrum, that is giving him the go ahead signal. He must learn that he will not get attention for bad behavior, but we had to make sure that we praised him for his good behavior. It was a very hard thing to learn, and a bit embarrassing when in a public place, but I can actually say that it worked for us. I don't know if this was the womans reason or not, but she may have just been ignoring the bad behavior and not just ignoring the child.
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
12 Jun 07
Thanks for sharing with me.
• Germany
12 Jun 07
i have had to do that when my kids were little
1 person likes this
• China
12 Jun 07
It is very hard for the women to shop with a baby alone without any companion,maybe at that time ,she is not energetic to take care of her baby ,because she had to buy stuffs ,or maybe she is a deaf .who knows .The baby is so miserable ,maybe he is hungry ,maybe he had pissed the napkin,God knows what happen.But there is one thing inspire us . If Walmart (the biggset retail store in the world)has a baby care center ,what exciting it will be .I think the mom whatever she is deaf or she is busy ,nevermind ,she can go shopping as long as she like ,as for you ,you will start the enjoyable trip start now!LoL.