I can't believe that my 4 year old daughter saw this from the window!

@Foxxee (3653)
United States
June 12, 2007 2:14am CST
We live in a really nice neighborhood. I have never had any problems living here. I been here for almost two years. I get along with all the neighbors. My mom, step dad, and even my sister live in the same neighborhood. A while back we had a new family move in. And just a few days after their move in, the couple that just moved in had a little fight and the husband got in his truck and drove off burning rubber. No big deal. But something told me they might be trouble because the husband did yell a few cruel words to his wife. It wasn't pretty. But I'm laid back and I usually mind my own business unless it involves me. Anyway, just the other day me and my 4 year old daughter were up in the kitchen. My daughter was sitting at the table by the kitchen window eating a few snacks and she was looking out the window, like she always does. I was a few feet from her doing dishes. All a sudden I hear my daughter scream from low to high "HE IS HITTING HER, HE IS, HE IS HITTING HER!" When I looked out the window, I didn't see anything, so I just told my daughter to finish up and then I went on with finishing up the dishes. I didn't think it was a big deal because I didn't see anything when I looked out. Anyway, not long at all, maybe about 7-9 minutes my daughter told me that the cops were outside. So I looked and sure enough they were. My daughter said "Mommy, they are going to take him to jail because he was choking and hitting her!" At this time, I go in the back room and get my husband, to tell him what was going on. When we got back in the kitchen, my daughter was still sitting in her chair eating. I decided to move her down to the living room, because our kitchen window is really huge and I just didn't want her staring at the situation. The cops were outside for some time dealing with the situation. I ended up chilling on the couch with my daughter while she finished her snack. When she was done she ran upstairs into the kitchen to put her cup and stuff up. She peeked out the window and then she told me that the cops were leaving and that they were leaving without the bad man. I just told her to get back down stairs and to leave it alone for now. Later that night, my other neighbor came to my house to talk with my husband about the whole situation and it turns out that they were the ones who called the cops. And supposedly the man beat the holy crap out of his wife in their front lawn. I guess he was also choking her. So of course they called the cops. But it turns out that once the cops got there it was over and the wife didn't press charges or anything. For some odd reason, the cops didn't arrest the husband. I find that really odd, but they didn't. Anyway, my neighbor was upset about it and was telling me that he didn't approve of the newest neighbors and that he was going to complain more about the situation because he was worried that it might happen again and the neighborhood is a kid friendly neighborhood. And he was upset that his kids could have been outside playing during all this. He does have a point. We live right across from these people. I take my daughter outside a lot. We can see their house clear as blue. But the sad thing is my daughter was inside her own home eating a snack when she saw all this. And to think my 4 year old saw some man choking another person! Pisses me off! My kids have never seen or will never see their daddy hit on me. It makes me angry that she had to see something like this. The worse thing about this and the reason why I am writing this discussion is because my daughter still remembers all this (it wasn't that long ago, I know). My daughter was talking about it today and she said to me "Mommy, when you hurt someone you are suppose to go to jail, but the man outside didn't go to jail and he might hurt us and I don't want to go outside anymore and I don't want daddy going to work because that man is over there." What do I do about this? She is only 4, about to be 5. She knows that it's wrong to hit and that cops are suppose to help when things go wrong and that they take bad people away. She sees that this neighbor of ours wasn't taken to jail and I'm worried she might think it's okay and that we can get away with things like this. I could be over reacting, but I still have a right to be pissed. Wouldn't you be upset if your kid saw something like this? And we always eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at our table and she loves looking out the window. It’s like I have to just close everything off now. What would you do? I told my daughter not to worry and that the cops had a long talk with the man and he wasn't going to hurt anyone else. I'm just worried the man might do it again. I hear him more then enough yelling and cussing his wife out all the time. Right in the front yard. I'm sure they wont last long. The landlord has already got word of things. So I guess we will have to wait this one out.
2 people like this
6 responses
@tinamwhite (3255)
• United States
12 Jun 07
Yes, my friend....I would be outraged!! I do not understand the police not arresting someone...here in Arkansas...during a domestic violence call...someone will go to jail...the one with marks on them will be left at home.....surely the woman had marks on her body that reflected his savage attack... From your discussion, if I read it right, this is a rental home and the landlord has been notified of this incident.....however that does not erase this memory from your child's mind... No child should have to witness this and I feel like the police department let your child down...by this I mean she got a too young lesson in the fact that the laws of our country do not always work...she should not have had to seen this at such a young age... It really says alot about the world today, when a child can not sit at their dining room table looking out of the window and eat without violence of this nature being thrown into her life...I know that you are providing her with a good solid home and for someone else to expose her to this behavior is appalling...I comment the manner in which you dealt with this situation BUT the fact is that you should never have had to do so.... I am sorry that you and your family have been subjected to this type of behavior....
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
13 Jun 07
That is how it is here, or so I thought. That is why I'm so confussed why they didn't arrest him. It's odd. Even if the wife didn't press charges or said she was okay or even lied to the cops about everything, we still had our neighbors that said they saw everything. So I don't understand. And if the cops would of talked with me, well, even my daughter saw the whole thing. I'm not really sure. Maybe they gave them a warning. Although I wish I would of went outside and told the cops that my daughter saw everything and just put my foot down. Right now things are good. My daughter actually went outside today, but I caught her glancing back at the other house a lot, like she was making sure nobody was there. I'm sure in time she will forget, but then again, kids don't forget that easy, they just keep it all inside and then one day something will trigger her memory. I talk with my daughter a lot about hitting people and how it's not right. So I'm sure she will be okay. She is a good kid. But I still am outraged about how people can act like fools in a family neighborhood or anywhere at that.
@jamie11982 (1659)
• United States
12 Jun 07
have you talked to your landlord about this as well or just your one nabor? he might be incline to do something more if everyone in the naborhood said something to him about this. As for your daughter just tell her that the bad man don't know you guys and won't come over. He has anger but not for you. Every time you hear them yelling call the cops right away and explain to them about your daughter seeing the man hitting his wife and that she's scared from all of the yelling that it will happen again. I am pretty sure that if the cops get enough complaints that they will do something about this man yelling and beating her all the time. I bet that she never steps out side for fear that she will get beat. This is the type of man that you don't want anyone around but unfortanity we still have them in our naborhoods. I do wish you luck and see about having your husband talk to her as well saying that he's only a phone call away incase she needs anyhelp and give her dadd's phone number written on a peace of paper and put in the fridge door. I did this with my 5 year old when he always wanted to call his grandmother every morning. He now knows the number just as good as he knows my house phone number. I also showed him how to get the number on the cell phone. This saves a lot of time. If she knows her numbers then you and your husband can work on the phone number with her but explain that it's only for emerganceys because daddy is a very bissy man when he's working but he'll always take the phone call when she needs him. That will give her some more confidence with this other man in the naborhood.
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
13 Jun 07
The landlord got word of it. They said they would take care of it. And if we hear anymore negative things about the new people, I'm going to complain again and again. I was told that they probably wouldn't get to stay much longer if they keep the violence up. So I'm just keeping fingers crossed.
@4cuteboys (4102)
• United States
14 Jun 07
Wow thats awful, I would have been so angry about it!! I think depending, if the wife doesnt have any OBVIOUS trauma, they can just deny it happening and they cant arrest the guy. Sucks. :( I feel so sorry that your daughter saw this. I would just keep explaining it to her, and letting her know that you are there to protect her and that man won't be bothering her. Its hard to understand though. I have a 5 year old and everything he sees he tends to take it to heart and wont forget about it. I hope she forgets about it soon and that these people leave or hopefully the guy gets arrested and doesnt get to come back.
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
13 Jun 07
I think you were right in what you have told your daughter. Just keep telling her that most people do not act like that. When you love someone, you don't do things like that.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
12 Jun 07
I would not like for them to be in my neighborhood either,I agree with your friend who called the police..You could turn this thing around for your child and use it as an example for her,one she will never forget,since she has already seen the violance anyway.Children are very smart,and if you explain to your daughter she will understand.I would sit my child down and explain to her about how some people like your neighbor cannot control their temper and that they hurt others, like he hurt his wife,explain to her that all men are not like that but some are,and how wrong it is.Tell her that when she gets big and has a husband of her own that she should never have anyone around her that hits,just tell her how wrong it is.I would also tell her that the man needs help and he also needs to be in jail,but since the woman told them not to take him to jail that she was wrong as well.We always want to shield our children from such violance,but now that she has already seen this then use it as a learning tool for her.I would also tell her that people like that does NEED to be in jail,and if he keeps doing that he will end up in jail,and how wrong he is.I would also comfort her by letting her know that the man is not out to hurt anyone else except for his wife,and not to be scared.I had five children and when they saw bad things like this i would explain to them,and they understood.Im sure this man is not through with his wife ,and abuser will always be an abuser,and that woman has got a lot of problems to ever let him get away with this.I am sorry your child had to see this but thats life and we cannot always shield them.I would try to do something about these neighbors if at all possible to try and get them out of the neighborhood if possible.I think your daughter is very smart and wise to be so young.Good luck and i do hope all goes well.
• United States
12 Jun 07
Horrible,horrible,stuff! If,the next time that this happens,call the cops. Not 911,the stations phone number,and ask them to send an officer to your home and fill out a report.Thats if you feel the need to"get involved". Sometime in the future it might help out the wife in the situation. Horrible,horrible,stuff.