Do you have a good SELF ESTEEM?

Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
June 13, 2007 4:16am CST
Every day we see people who constantly put themselves down. "I'm too bad for this, they're too good for me, etc". Those are the things we hear them see, and I am sure that many of you have heard such comments at some point. It's all based in self esteem. If it's low, then we're in trouble because we convince ourselves that we're unable to do anything right, and that leads directly to unhappiness. Do you consider that you have a high self esteem? how do you think that self esteem affects a person's happiness?
6 people like this
19 responses
• India
13 Jun 07
I have a high self esteem. Self esteem is the respect and regard we give to ourselves. If we are not respecting ourselves how can we expect others to respect or give regard to us. Self esteem sure is directly connected with our happiness. Let me share with you my experience at college. I am a graduation student studying commerce. Whenever we write exams I never copy or ask anything to the person sitting before/ behind me. I always have in mind that when I am good at it why should I even ask them the answers. Copying is out of question. So, whenever we get the results the percentage and the class obtained is solely by my hard work. This makes me much happier than any of the rank holders who ask and even sometimes copy to get good marks. In our college we even have falicitation programme for the students who score full marks in any subjects. But the happiness is not found on their faces while receiving the prizes whereas I am much happier eventhough I have scored around 80 or 90 out of 100. You see, my self-esteem restricts me to get hints from others and in turn it gives me so much of happiness and confidence to cross the next hurdle in academics.
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
13 Jun 07
really bk, thanks for sharing your experience at college. I found it very clarifying. And yes, it's obvious that your self esteem is in a magnificient shape, the way it should be. Getting your work done basing yourself only in hard work and not in shortcuts sounds excellent, even when you know that it means more hours and more pain or suffering or work. Congratulations bk.
• India
13 Jun 07
Hard work is the only key to success. Of course, sometimes shortcuts work out well than hard work. But not after our luck runs out. Many people fail in their work life because they have never gone through the tough times during their college time. Work life always expects sustained hard efforts from the employees to be successful. But if we are not used to it from quite sometime we are sure to give way to failure. Thank you for marking mine as best response.
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
13 Jun 07
you're welcome :)
@joodzki6 (596)
• Philippines
6 Sep 07
i do practice a high self esteem. in my job i have to be that way, because i'm facing different kinds of people everyday, mingle with them and of course most of the time they were asking my opinion or idea about what is going to happen on a certain event and i have to give them the concrete and best for them. Also, i manage people, how are they going to follow my instructions or respect me if they see me unconfident in everything i say? well, that's how it is with me. having a high self esteem is good, but of course there are certain limitations in everything. You have to know your limitations in everything, don't hurt someone else feelings, and don't go to the point that you are insulting your people already.Be fair in everything you do and in decision making so, you'll feel happy and of course you create good relationship with your people as well. i think that's more important.
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
6 Sep 07
Thanks for answering as usual joodz!!
@cdparazo (5769)
• Philippines
14 Jun 07
Self-esteem I believe do affect a person's happiness because it is usually tied up with how a person sees himself/herself. Like me of example, I am overweight and yet I don't feel body conscious or less attractive and less capable because I have never ever tied up with the way I see myself and my capacity to succeed or have a successful relationship with my weight. A lot of teenagers nowadays are unhappy with themselves and keeps on seeking approval because they think that they are fat that in effect they have very low self-esteem. Some would even ask, could somebody ever love me the way I am? As for my self, I am never short of self-esteem. A lot of times, some people gets uncomfortable with me because they think that I am overshooting. LOL! Just a few days ago my friend congratulated me for being the no.3 top seller and she added that considering that I am the newest. I replied to her that by next month I will be no.1 and then later I thought that she might have found me too much since being no.1 means I will be achieving higher sales than her. LOL!
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
14 Jun 07
hahaha oops perhaps your friend won't like you being number one after all. I am very happy that you're comfortable with who you are and your appearance, that's truly hard to find in these days of looks slavery. If you're minimally out of the mainstream, you're completely out, you don't count anymore. At least that's how many of us humans, specially those younger and less experienced feel. But you're obviously over it and i'm really glad about it.
@vitekfdr (651)
• United States
6 Sep 07
yeah that is preatty interesting i like it
• United States
13 Jun 07
Oh yea! Self esteem does affect a person's happiness! I think my self esteem is not bad but not that great either. It can definitely improve. It's weird cuz I really feel good about a lot of things about myself and yet I feel so bad about other things. It's a mix.
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
13 Jun 07
Well i hope that the weight of the good things is superior to the bad things...or that you get there as soon as possible candie...do you think that good things already weigh more?
• United States
14 Jun 07
Yea the good things do supersede the bad. But I'm of the mentality that there is always room for improvement. I can always be better. :)
@add_im (2712)
• Philippines
13 Jun 07
I myself sometimes felt such a low self-esteem because as what i've been through from my past. I have made such a failure from the past, first thing I remember still is when I failed my own family due to some family personal matter and it affects my studies and that cause me quitting my studies back then, from there I have felt so much less confidence within myself and i'm being weak just about anything I tried doing for myself not realizing I was only pushing myself too hard down to life's downfalls. But now, I'm just thankful that I gain back my confidence within myself and i'm starting to live my life to it's fullest and that what made me the person I am right now, I can boldly say that I'm now a fighter person. :-)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
13 Jun 07
Well it seems that you have learned from past mistakes, and that's the only thing that matters addy, and i'm happy that you have. As they say, humans never learn from successes unfortunately, only from mistakes. If you've learned the lesson then great for you!
@saintz87 (439)
• Singapore
14 Jun 07
I used to be high in self-esteem until my health begin to deteriorates, my fitness dropped, and everything went down hill. My factor of life dropped by a factor or 2 or 3 out of 10. It was depressing, i thought I could overcome it by eating. Then i begin by gaining weight. I felt like I could not do anything at all. I felt manipulated at times by others and my mind sometimes drifted into skepticism. However, now I am setting a new resolution. I want to gain back everything I have lost. To become the confident me again. And i will take what i have epxerienced as a crucial lesson.
• United States
14 Jun 07
i haev NO self-esteem whatsoever. i am one of those ones you talk about...one who always puts themself down. i really hate myself. That is not to get you to as why or whatever else. It is just the truth...just how it is.
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
14 Jun 07
well admitting it is a first step fallen, now i think that if you don't see yourself capable of getting over it, you might want to look for some help, because really, you would feel way way better. Please think about it. Thanks for replying and for your sincerity.
@arkaf61 (10891)
• Canada
13 Jun 07
I have a healthy self esteem nowadays. THere were times in my life where it was really down, but I'm glad I was always able to bring it up - sooner or later :) I'm not as worried as its effect on people's happiness as much as I am with its effect on people's sense of worth, and ability to cope with everyday's life. People with low self esteem aren't necessarily feeling miserable but tend to have more difficulty dealing with life itself, specially the pitfalls. They can actually sometimes act kind of a yo=you with big highs and big lows.
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
13 Jun 07
Yep, we have all had moments in which we felt in the lowest level of all, don't we? Glad you have overcome all that!! thank you for replying hon!.
• Canada
13 Jun 07
I have very poor self esteem about myself and realize this but it doesn't change the fact about how I feel about myself and do agree that it makes a person less happier then the person that has high self esteem . I am always trying to boost the self esteem of others around me and feel so terrible when I see a child putting him or herself down . My niece is very beautiful and extremely talented in many ways but does not see this in herself as she only see's herself as overweight . She is a little big but nothing major and she could lose a couple of pounds but if she lost more then that she would't look healthy as she is almost six feet and this as well bothers her . It hurts me each time I talk to her to realize how bad she feels about herself because she can sing like no one else as she has such a beautiful voice and she is only fifteen . She can draw anything and has been able to do this since she was really small . Academically she is really smart and never has to struggle yet never sees anything good in herself . If we could only teach self esteem to children in school as this is just as important in learning as anything else , then we would have a lot more happier people in the world .
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
13 Jun 07
Yeah, we should make an effort in making the kids learn to accept themselves and see all the good things that they have, and minimize the bad parts.
@pendragon (3354)
• United States
13 Jun 07
I probably shouldnt after the life I've had, but I think all the adversity and put-downs I've faced throughout my life have had the opposite effect on me, and given me very good self-esteem.I have a lot of confidence and sometimes maybe too much,lol.
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
13 Jun 07
Well "too much"'s are not good, but at least you're aware of it. Nobody is perfect anyway....Thanks for replying.
@urbangirl (1461)
• Australia
13 Jun 07
Well I don't actually hear people saying "they're too good for me" etc too often. It's usually the other way around....but anyhow, I still think you can have a low self esteem and be outgoing and "outwardly" positive. Actions are more indicative of esteem I think, but yeah, it's not fun listening to sonmeone being negative about themselves all the time.
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
13 Jun 07
well urban, i can assure you that i know a good number of people that either by facts or words put themselves down one way or another most of the time. It's sad really, i feel pity for them, a non patronizing one.
@mattchua (229)
• Changi, Singapore
13 Jun 07
some ppl tends to be humble while most tend to have a low esteem, for myself i consider myself above average.
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
13 Jun 07
Well humble and low self esteem can go together, but one can be humble and have an excellent self esteem. I am glad you consider yourself above the average...obviously your self esteem is not low LOL.
@angela2006 (1846)
• China
13 Jun 07
it can affect our happiness because if we contrabute all unsucess to our faults,then we will feel depressed.actually,we can see something on another angle,the failure has many elements,we should not blame ourselves always.
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
13 Jun 07
Yes, I agree. We can have our share of guilt sometimes, but being the only ones to blame all the time? I don't think so. Thanks for replying angela.
@jcj_111776 (3221)
• Philippines
6 Sep 07
I just put it this way, light. When I start to feel down, and I start to think that they are much better than me, what I do is to convince myself that they are still human and being human, they still have something that makes them weak at times. They might be better than me in some things, but I sure have some things that are way better than them. When I start doing this, I begin to feel much better about myself. And I sometimes think of what my brother told me. He said to think about this when I start to feel the insecurities bearing down on me. It's a little gross but it was sure funny. He said that we get intimidated by people who are of great standing. We think that they know everything. They stand proud and sure of themselves. But the thing is, they still do what we do, too. They still poop, don't they. I'm so sorry if this will offend some.
@vitekfdr (651)
• United States
6 Sep 07
yea i think i do have a self esteem
@vitekfdr (651)
• United States
6 Sep 07
i think i have preatty high self esteem yes i think so
@xueyao (156)
• China
14 Jun 07
I belive that I have a high aelf esteem in usually,so I am always confident of any situation that I do my business at the being time.At the same time,I think most of people even if the hollible person have the high esteem by himself.They always regard all thing themselves do is right.They must give himselves a good excuse to do everything.so they must have the high self esteem.
• Nigeria
14 Jun 07
well i have a high esteem which means that i hold myself in very high regard and i do not underrate me. I feel for people who can't do anything else but to sit down and blame their self whenever they are in trouble. But for me i am always happy even in the face of adversity and my friend are like i like your attitude. Its very positive. What people don;t know is that a positive attitude brings out a positive result
• Philippines
14 Jun 07
When I was younger I am very insecure but that does not help, when I got older, I never mind anyone at all, if they are more beautiful than me, I just think that if they can do it, so can I? It's useless to be no one all the time.
@puyol1 (194)
• Malaysia
13 Jun 07
i have bad self esteem.. since i was child, i dont have much confident to face to face with a girl.. anyone can help me to cope this problem?