Will you SETTLE the BILL if you still don't want to leave?
@lordwarwizard (35747)
Singapore
June 13, 2007 11:35am CST
Last Saturday night, I was having tim sum with another friend for dinner. Those in Hong Kong would be very familiar with this "cuisine" but that's not the topic of this discussion anyway. :P
It was just the 2 of us and we had a great time finishing the huge amount of food we ordered. We took it slow since we were enjoying our conversation. All in all, I think we spent some 3-4 hours there (lol) though it didn't feel that long then.
The waitresses were sweet and kept asking if we wanted to top up our tea. However, there was another thing the waitresses kept bugging us with - "Would you like to settle the bill?" Well, we wouldn't! We still wanted to talk and we didn't want to leave just yet. So I told her it was alright and we will let them know when we want to pay.
But apparently there was no communication among their staff and we were harassed like 4-5 times. Would you pay if you were me - since you still wanted to stay? It's like, after you have paid, it would feel strange to continue staying. They might even tarnish their reputation by trying to chase you out - since you have already finished your meal. It would not be too nice at all if harsh words start to be exchanged.
So what do you usually do if you still want to sit around? Do you agree to pay? Or do you blush and decide to cut short your conversation? Or do you just keep waving them away? Or do you just order something to shoo them away even though you are terribly full already? Or... ? Do share your thoughts. ;-)
32 people like this
90 responses
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
13 Jun 07
Maybe there was a change in shifts coming and these people would not get their tips if they did not personally collect them or maybe they were trying to close out the drawer for a bank drop and they just want the numbers to balance.
There are many reasons.
I would have just paid them to get them out of the way.
5 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
13 Jun 07
Nah, we don't tip in Singapore. There is already a mandatory 10% service charge.
2 people like this
@derek_a (10874)
•
13 Jun 07
I would simply say "yes, if you wish us to pay, but is it alright if we stayed for a little while longer?"
If the place was full and they needed the table, I wouldn't like to be rushed away, but at the same time, would not deliberately hang around if I didn't need to. If there were plenty of other tables, I wouldn't see why I would have to leave so quickly and ask them why and if that is why they wanted me to pay.
Personally, I like to address the specifics in these situations to know exactly what is expected of me.
4 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
13 Jun 07
No you can't ask that! That would be as bad as asking if you can have the leftover scraps for free! :P
I did look out. There was a queue but for the takeaways - not for eating in.
3 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
15 Jun 07
Remind yourself that you are a paying customer and don't be too sweet in future lol. :P
@magikrose (5429)
• United States
13 Jun 07
What I do in that situation is ask my friend ifthey would like to go to a place where they dont care how long you stay. There is a diner that is open 24hours and it is a great place to go when all you want to do is have a meal and chat as long as you want to.
3 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
13 Jun 07
The place isn't really an issue since we can always head for Macs (if we can find a place lol). But it's just that hey we feel like sitting that in that uncomfortable chair and continuing our talk? You want us to pay? Try again later. :P
2 people like this
@minnie_98214 (10557)
• United States
13 Jun 07
I have done waitressing myself and would pay the bill and still hang out. Most times it is just that the waitress wants to be done with your check and have it out of the way shes not trying to shoo you out of the restaurant (unless you smell bad them she may be trying to shoo you out).
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
13 Jun 07
Sometimes if there were 2 or more servers waiting on you one may be off duty ready to go home and wants to split the tip possibly.
1 person likes this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
13 Jun 07
Nah, she wasn't trying to shoo us away. She was just being.. professional and asking if we want the bill settled.
1 person likes this
@steney (1418)
• Philippines
15 Jun 07
I never had an experience being asked if I'd like to settle my bill after a meal. The most that the servers have done when my friends and I lingered after a meal in a restaurant recently, was to give us 'the look'. Maybe hoping we could read their minds and get the message, hehehe. If that happened to me, I would ask for the manager and share with him about the importance of customer service and satisfaction, so he can then relay it to his staff. But if I want to do away with the lecture, maybe I'll just order coffee or dessert and eat it very slowly till my friend and I run out of things to talk about. Delaying tactics, mate! :P
3 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
15 Jun 07
Giving you the look? That is real bad customer service.
1 person likes this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
15 Jun 07
Yea, that's quite what I thought too.
1 person likes this
@acuityplague (763)
• United States
16 Jul 07
I just typed out the longest most spectacular response EVER.
Mylot ate it, and didn't even spit out a bone.
I'm going to take a nap now and try to get over my frustration.
I know better than to not copy before hitting post..grrrr
2 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
16 Jul 07
LOL, serve you right :PPP
You really need to check out the last FAQ on my profile page. Then you won't have this problem again.
@cassidy22 (2974)
• United States
16 Jul 07
Well, in the US, paying the bill doens't mean you have to leave. I've often paid for a meal, and continued to sit and talk.
you do realize that if the restaurant was busy, it may have seemed rude to THEM that you two were taking up a table if there were other people waiting to eat. It also reduces the amount of money they can make, and the amount of tips they can make. This is called "turn and burn" - getting patrons in and out quickly to increase profit. and it is rude. But you could have gone to a coffee house, a park, or somewhere else to continue talking and hanging out. Sure, they were rude to pester you, but they may have been doing what their management TOLD them to do for financial reasons. They are only doing their jobs and they are there to serve you, but they are people too.
2 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
17 Jul 07
That's why we think that at least here, MacDonalds made some of their seats uncomfortable for a reason - so that patrons will leave quickly lol.:P
@atramesil (685)
• United States
17 Jul 07
oddly enough you might be right. Hve you ever noticed that all the fast food chains have bright red, yellow and orange decor?? It is more kinetic and can encourage you to consume your food quickly and move along. Nicer restaurants tend to cooler blues, and greens and dark quieter atmospheres. They do not make their money so much on the fast turn around as they do on the expensive entrees, drinks and desserts so they can afford for you to hang out a bit longer. Aren't they stinkers, lol.
1 person likes this
@joey_matthews (8354)
•
13 Jun 07
I would leave no.
It's happened to my wife and I once when we on holiday. The cafe we stopped for a snack to eat wasn't all that busy but after awhile of being there it did pick up.
We was asked to actually leave. (the cafe's seats are only to customers) which annoyed me because we was feeding our son who was only a couple of months old then. so sure, babies do take awhile to feed don't they?
Oh well it wasn't like we was there for an hour so I just said "Sorry, my sons still eating"..
It's very annoying..
~Joey
P.s Kudos lordy!
2 people like this
@joey_matthews (8354)
•
13 Jun 07
She did!
Actually she was in front of the glares. hehe (I was following her lead) she's much better than it than I am..
Ever have discussion which doesn't explode? Hehe well kudos!
~Joey
1 person likes this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
13 Jun 07
That's why I said Kate - girls are better at glaring lol. :P
1 person likes this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
13 Jun 07
Hi Joey, I think that place was really rude - since you were obviously still feeding your son. You should ask Kate to glare at them or something lol. :p
1 person likes this
@jillmalitz (5131)
• United States
13 Jun 07
In my experience here when they start asking you if you would like to settle the bill they really want you to leave. They frequently look at it as they have made all the money from you they will so they would like to get another customer in to get more money. We have occasionally paid the bill and stayed a bit longer but we usually leave shortly after paying the bill.
3 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
13 Jun 07
That would seem to be ill customer service. :P
2 people like this
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
13 Jun 07
I guess the staff are in a hurry to close down for the night that will explain the waitress continuous "harassment." I might gently inform the waitress to stop lurking around me like that.
This rarely happened here and most of the dimsum restaurants close at around 2 to 3 in the morning. After 4 to 5 times of pestering me, I would not be so nice with the waitress. There is no need to blush but to call the manager instead. I am there to enjoy my meal and not for a waitress to buzz around me.
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
14 Jun 07
They are all the same, just different spellings.
1 person likes this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
13 Jun 07
When they finally took the soy sauce and vinegar (tim sum complements) from us, then we know they are really closing - then we paid and left. :P
It was only around 11pm when we left. Only coffee joints, bars, and fast food places open till the wee hours (mostly).
1 person likes this
@huggiebear22 (2007)
• Canada
13 Jun 07
Tis is one of those things that some idiots have ruined by doing the dine and dash which is where you order food, eat the food and then run wihtout paying for it in the case you discribe i waould be doing the same thing since the server thought you were there for a long time and might be waiting to be forgotten about and then running away. I find when situations liek this i give them my redit card and say we are going to be a while longer could you keep the billopen and they are more than happy to do this.
Some restaurants make the server pay for any meals that are nto paid for or the person left whiout paying the bill.
2 people like this
@huggiebear22 (2007)
• Canada
13 Jun 07
Yup some people really do do that and soem places charge the server if they have soemone walk out wihtout paying.
1 person likes this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
13 Jun 07
I would think they are incredibly rare. I want to think so. :P
2 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
13 Jun 07
You mean people really do that? I thought it only happens in movies lol. :P
2 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
13 Jun 07
Well honey I have never been asked to settle the bill before I was ready to leave - usually I have to ask to pay before they present the bill! I think they seemed to be rushing you out and I would not like that at all. Pity that they put a service charge on your bill automatically or you could have shown your displeasure when it came to tipping them! xxx
2 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
13 Jun 07
Actually, this is usually the case for me too. Just so happened that this tim sum restaurant was a bit different.
2 people like this
@tmlnmr (1850)
• Canada
13 Jun 07
Hey wizard, we normally get the bill when we get our meals in the restaurants around here so they don't bother you about settling up. If it is busy and they need the table and you are finished your meal and are just talking they will let you know they need the table in a polite way and ask if you would be willing to go. Especially after you have been there for 3 or 4 hours. I don't like crowds so if it is starting to get busy I will rush my hubby and almost run out of the restaurant. LOL I don't normally have that problem. In one restaurant we frequent often we don't get the bill till after they know whether you want desert or not and we have been known to leave before getting the bill. We just are too quick for them. LOL Anyway, because I have worked in a restaurant I know if they are asking you to settle up then there is a reason for it so I would graciously do that and invite the person to my place to finish our conversation or we would go to a local coffee shop where they don't pressure you. If it isn't busy though I would tell them that we weren't quite finished but if they wanted us to settle that was fine but we were going to stay awhile longer. I have seen some people settle up and go stand outside the restaurant for another hour finishing their conversation. LOL.
2 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
14 Jun 07
That restaurant would be doing things right.
2 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
13 Jun 07
If the place was really packed, I might be nice and give way. Yet I feel it is in my right even if I want to stay. I am paying for more than the food. I don't even feel I am being inconsiderate since it is a first-come-first-serve thing and it is not as if someone will die if he doesn't get to eat there.:P
2 people like this
@tmlnmr (1850)
• Canada
13 Jun 07
Oh ya it is definitely your right you have boughten the seat sort of speak so for sure. I just freak in a crowd so I would be gone in no time. LOL. If it wasn't busy I say stay all night! LOL. I actually recognized a friends truck outside of a restaurant yest. and so I went in and we sat and talked for like half an hour. We didn't even have anything, they did before but was about to leave when I came in. The owners didn't care that we were there sitting and not having anything, mind you we were the only ones in there.
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
13 Jun 07
Well, the places that I go just ask if that will be all and if we say yes then they bring us our bill a few minutes later and then leave us alone except to occasionally ask if we need a refill on whatever we are drinking at the time. As some of the others may have stated they wanted you to pay and rush you on your way. I can see it from your point of view you were comfortable,relaxed,enjoying yourself,and were a paying customer you should be able to stay at a table as long as you liked wothout being bothered so many times about the bill. I believe the staff all knew bout it they jus thought that it would hurry you on your way if you were asked repeatedly. Well, maybe in the future you will steer clear of that place if you are wanting to catch up with friends and relax. You told them that you would pay when your finished they were rude to keep interuppting you. You should have asked if they are time limits on the seats most people will not spend but a hour to a hour and a half dining and that is what they kinds expect but hey you were ejoying yourself you shouldn't have been harassed so much to pay. Seems like they were afraid you were going to skip out on paying it..lol It has been known to happen a few times. Well, I hope next time you will have a better time of it. Good luck.
2 people like this
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
14 Jun 07
Ok, Well it is that they just kept bugging you after you repeatedly told them that you would pay it when you were finished.
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
13 Jun 07
I think for the case of that restaurant, they were interrupting in more of a professional and efficient manner. Not really rude or I would have been p*ssed off. :P
1 person likes this
@rusty2rusty (6751)
• Defiance, Ohio
13 Jun 07
I don't mind being asked once. But after the second time, I would ask to see the manger. Than proceed to tell the manager what is happening. It would go something like this: We just ordered a big meal. We are not done and may happen to order more. We have not decided it we want to top it off or not with something else. But we have been asked twice now to settle our bill.Is there anything you can do to settle this so we won't be bothered about settling our bill until we are ready?
Depending on his comment, reaction and what happens further would depend on if i would settle than and go. If I was force to settle befor emy time. i would make sure to tell anyone I know not to go to that place for that very reason. They will force you to pay your bill before you were ready to go.
2 people like this
@rusty2rusty (6751)
• Defiance, Ohio
13 Jun 07
Um, my attitude is not better than them. What gives you that crazt idea? Going to the manager is what needs to be done to settle this issue. I have came across it before. Believe me, it works and gets things accomplish. there is no reason for a waitress to haress someone about paying their bill if their aren't ready. It will cause her to get no tip.
1 person likes this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
13 Jun 07
rusty2rusty, yes if they had been nasty to me and if I had been in a bad mood, I guess I might be tempted to do that. :P
2 people like this
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
13 Jun 07
The same thing happened to us the other day when we went out to dinner, we were having a nice dinner, just the two of us, which is quite unusal that we are not entertained with children. The waitress kept coming up to asking us if the meal was okay, we replied that it was, she even tried to take our dishes away before they were finished. When my boyfriend went to the bathroom she came up to me another 3 times and when he returned she mentioned to him that he took a long time and left me sitting there, the nerve of some people. We kindly paid the bill, but I felt like it was a definite invasion on our privacy and our time to enjoy our meal.
2 people like this
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
13 Jun 07
Yeah I thought she overstepped your boundaries telling him he spent too much time in the bathroom and leaving me alone, all I could think of was that they were trying to get the table for people coming in. One time I went to a restaurant in Ft Lauderdale and the owner actually had the nerve to tell me that if we were not going to order a full meal we could not stay at his restaurant, regardless of the fact that we had ordered 5 appetizers he did not care, which I thought was overstepping their boundary too much, seeing that they did not have a full house to speak of that night.
2 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
13 Jun 07
Unless she was some motherly figure but I would be like you - p*ssed. I wouldn't want a stranger telling me or my partner who is right.
That owner you just mentioned is ridiculous! I would have all my friends boycott his place as well.
2 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
13 Jun 07
The waitress asking if the meal was ok? It sounds a bit silly (though I do get this VERY rarely) since they didn't cook the food. If the chef asks, that's ok. I once had a salmon omelette rejected 3 times before they got it right. The chef came out all the way from the kitchen to make sure it is to my taste. Seeing how much trouble he went to, I just said OK in the end lol (even though I thought it could taste better :p).
And that waitress telling your boyfriend off was really overstepping her place.
3 people like this
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
14 Jun 07
No I would not. If they came to the table and tried to present the bill I would tell them to just leave on the table and I would let them know when I was ready to pay. I would also hint that it would not help their tip if they were to bug me about it.
2 people like this
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
14 Jun 07
Oh then I'm afraid that will bring out the nasty me and I would definitely stay until I was ready to go and the tip would be minimal. To me there is a big difference between dining and just getting a quick meal.
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
14 Jun 07
Actually I missed out saying that they have already given us the bill right after our order - before even our food came. They just kept asking us if we wanted to pay. :P
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
15 Jun 07
I settle the bill only if I am leaving or if they have a policy of settling all bills by a certain hour. Most restaurants expect people to leave once the bill is settled, and they are especially "hardworking" if there is a long queue waiting.
I am rather automatic in that if I see a long queue waiting, I may settle the bill and leave the place. However, if the waiters keep following up as if to chase me away, I will intentionally not settle the bill. At most, I will just order something and leave it on the table to indicate I have not finished my meal.
Also, the time stamp on the bill indicates the time I leave the place. It is the only albli that I am at the restaurant should I am being "questioned" of my whereabouts. Hence, I would not settle the bill if I still want to stay put.
2 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
15 Jun 07
Well, we don't really practise tipping in Singapore.
1 person likes this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
15 Jun 07
Sorry, that reply was for above.
And interesting. So you commit(accused of committing) crimes quite often for this to be important?
1 person likes this
@dawnhm6 (48)
• United States
14 Jun 07
Something similar happened to me once. We were having a great time talking and taking our meal a little slow. The waitress kept on asking us if we wanted the bill yet. After the 7th time, I got up and went to the hostess and asked if I could speak with the manager. I told him about it. He told me that they were very busy since it was a Friday night, but that was no reason for the waitresses to act in that manner. He apologized, and gave us a pretty good discount on the meal and a new waitress. That wasn't my point in going to him, but it was very nice. I was just tired of that girl trying to rush me and my friend through dinner! I was a waitress once when I was younger. We were told never to ask someone if they were ready for the bill until the main course plates were empty and/or pushed aside. And then we were supposed to ask if they ould like coffee or dessert before the bill!
2 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
14 Jun 07
I hope you didn't make that poor girl cry. :P
1 person likes this
