Would you be upset/angry would you be if...
By shemah
@shemah (840)
Malaysia
June 17, 2007 2:06pm CST
your partner, husband/wife does not use their wedding ring. Or is it really not a big deal for you? As for me, I've been married to my husband for 4 years now and he does not wear his wedding ring.
He explains that he gets sweat rashes and it is uncomfortable for him. He also says that the measure of his love towards me, the kids and our marriage shouldn't be judged by the fact that he is not wearing it. I just don't like to explain it to friends and others who ask me about it.. It just makes me sound like an oh-so-defensive wife.
All that matters to me is that he doesn't forget his promises towards me and his responsibilities as a husband and father.
What's your take on that? Would it matter to you?
4 people like this
19 responses
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
17 Jun 07
i would be absolutely furiouse. We have been married for 17 years now and niether of us have ever taken our rings off. If he did it would mean something was very wrong
blessed be
2 people like this
@shemah (840)
• Malaysia
17 Jun 07
Wow! That's a long while.. congratulations! Any advice for me? :) I hope to stay married that long too.. and much longer. Well, if that's how things have been since the day you got married, I'll be furious too. Thanks for your sharing your thoughts on this matter. :)
@JulyanJameston (17)
•
17 Jun 07
I would be very upset.
There is no reason why he should not wear it, and a trip to the doctor will cure those "rashes". If he loves you, he should wear it.
1 person likes this
@alekhine13 (38)
• Philippines
18 Jun 07
Yeah I agree! I believe that there would be a cure for that or remedy such as changing the ring material or something. Also, I believe that every married person who is so damn proud that he is married would love to wear their wedding ring. It is the same as shouting in the streets that your loved one has just become your boyfriend/girlfriend or announcing to the world that the marriage that you have been waiting for finally became a reality. People who are proud of their marriage sees things such as wearing their rings a thing to die for, atleast at the start of their marriage. Therefore, I think that it would be a big deal when your partner would not wear it.
It would be fine though if he/she would only take it off once in a while like when doing a specific task and it's uncomfortable to have the ring or going through a place that is dangerous, but put them back after those things.
1 person likes this
@shemah (840)
• Malaysia
18 Jun 07
Julyan: Thanks for your thoughts. Although, I have no problem with it. I know he loves me and I know that I ring should be a symbol of our love, but somehow, I don't really feel betrayed that he doesn't.
Akheline: Yeah.. maybe the material could be changed. But if he were to get a platinum ring, then I'd be jealous! Haha. I think when we could really afford it, maybe we'd try it out. :) Thanks for taking the time to respond!
@loved1 (5328)
• United States
18 Jun 07
I guess it would depend on why he did not wear his ring. My husband usually wears his wedding ring but not always because he is a mechanic. There is always the chance he might get his ring caught in a piece of machinery and lose a finger. I feel the same way you do. As long as he acts married and is not trying to portray himself as a single guy (by not wearing his ring) I don't mind.
1 person likes this
@lkbooi (16070)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 07
Oh shemah, hubby not wearing wedding ring for the past 4 years shouldn’t be bothered so much. Take it at ease.
My hubby hasn’t put it of for over thirty years! LOL He just wore it for a few days after the wedding ceremony and since then he removed it as he said that with the ring on the finger was rather uncomfortable for him to hold the brush for painting and Chinese calligraphy. What a pretty reason he gave!
Not long after both of our rings were kept in the safe as I too dislike wearing ring LOL…
Over there thirty years my hubby and I have been getting along pretty well, whenever somebody asking about his ring he always says joking “Oh, not on finger but in heart!”
1 person likes this
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
18 Jun 07
I dont even have a wedding ring and neither does my husband. We fell on some seriously hard times shortly after we had our son. We sold our rings to feed the baby. They were the only things we owned at the time that were worth anything.
We have been married almost 6 years now and we havent had rings for almost 5 of those years. It doesn't matter to me. When people ask if I am married, I say yes. When they ask where my ring is, I ask them why they want to know. It usually shuts them up.
It doesn't bother me for my hushband not to wear a ring. Growing up my father never wore his wedding band. He was a machinist and it was dangerous for him to wear a ring or a watch. So it just seems normal not to see a wedding ring on my husband. When he did wear one, it just seemed wrong to me, but I would probably get used to it if he had one.
1 person likes this
@bettyrose20 (997)
• Philippines
19 Jun 07
well, actually it matters to me when my husband (in case) wont wear his rings..i dont know why really..i think the ring shows to the world that he was married, and once he didnt wear it, ill think that he has eyeing someone that he never wants that someone to know he is married..rings are symbols..
@steney (1418)
• Philippines
18 Jun 07
Personally, I wouldn't mind if my husband doesn't wear his wedding ring. A lot of men don't, for so many reasons. Let's take in the fact that generally, men don't like wearing jewelery. I think the only time they would want to wear a ring is on their wedding day. It's a symbol, and not a measure of one's love or devotion to the marriage. I think above all, what is important is that the husband fulfills his marriage vows.
1 person likes this
@gwenmari1029 (1481)
• Philippines
18 Jun 07
my husband doesn't wear his wedding ring too! it is just too tight on his fingers these days. at first, i was kinda upset because i feel that he doesn't like wearing it but when i saw with my eyes that he was really not comfortable with it anymore i gave in. he is not wearing it for 6 months already. for me, love is not measured by the ring that he is wearing but on how he takes care of me and how he shows it.
1 person likes this
@shemah (840)
• Malaysia
18 Jun 07
Yeah.. i've seen the discomfort caused by the rashes too. It would go away after the doctor gives him a cream. And return again when he start wearing it again. And the skin starts peeling too. So, it really doesn't matter to me either. Thanks for sharing, gwen!
@sabsta2006 (241)
•
18 Jun 07
If he wasn't wearing it because of the discomfort it causes him then that should not be a problem. As long as he is a devoted husband, surely that is all that should matter!
1 person likes this
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
18 Jun 07
Personally I would wear my ring proudly. But for security reasons I would take it off if I'm going to an area with a high crime rate where I could get robbed or mugged.
1 person likes this
@Madona1 (2096)
• Gibraltar
18 Jun 07
Well, I would be a bit of upset if my husband didn't wear the ring. But it is reasonable because your husband has the medical reason. If this were the case, I would not wear it either if I were you so that both of you didn’t wear the ring equally.
1 person likes this
@shemah (840)
• Malaysia
18 Jun 07
well, for me, I have no problem wearing my wedding ring. I wear it proudly, and I'm sure if it didn't cause him discomfort, he would wear his too. I don't think it's fair for him if i pull the "if you can do it, i can too". But thanks for your suggestion anyway. I do appreciate your view on this matter. :)
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
18 Jun 07
I have heard that about rings, too. Also soap residue gets beneath them and can cause a rash that is very itchy. Neither my husband nor I wear our rings. Because of his job he prefers not to, and I am in agreement, he could end up losing a finger if the ring caught on something. I just don't like wearing jewlery. I don't think he has any moreof a problem with it than I do.
@shemah (840)
• Malaysia
18 Jun 07
So you do agree that not wearing the "symbol of love" is not a big deal in one's marriage? I use it and my husband doesn't. It doesn't make my marriage any less stronger than those who do wear 'em, in my opinion. I have nothing against people wearing wedding rings, for i myself wear mine and I don't have anything against people who don't wear theirs. :) Thanks for taking time to respond!
@tdbrower1969 (1242)
• United States
18 Jun 07
My husband is an auto mechanic, and it is hard for him to wear his wedding ring at work. I also work in the food industry and don't like to wear my ring because I have to wear gloves and my ring would tear them. I think that is all on how you feel as a couple about wearing your wedding rings all the time.
1 person likes this
@godhunter_18 (106)
• Philippines
18 Jun 07
hell, i will be VERY upset.
it may sound trivial, but it's a testimony to the world that the girl is already taken. and it's a 'crime' to hit on her. sort of a warning/ back off amulet. beside the point, if your guy's reason is because of allergy/rashes, if it was me, i'd require him too put the ring in a necklace and wear it.
really, kids and marriage count, but before that, it was the ring that served as a sign of love.
i think it would be acceptable to both of you if your husband wears it as a necklace. you get to see him wear your ring, and he doesn't get rashes.
@shemah (840)
• Malaysia
18 Jun 07
Hi godhunter.. I appreciate your point of view. And yeah, I do think he'd accept wearing a necklace. Although, I'm not sure whether I want to keep being reminded of Frodo Baggins everytime i see it.. :) Thanks.. I'll keep your suggestion under advice!
1 person likes this
@lkbooi (16070)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 07
Hi shemah,
I really appreciate your compliment. Thanks for the best response.
I do matter too whether the husband really keeps his promises and fulfils his responsibilities to his wife and children.
Haha… every man has his own good reasons when he is reluctant to do something. If the reasons are rational and acceptable the wife should trust him fully so as to get along harmoniously.
@cabergren (1181)
• United States
17 Jun 07
My husband and I have been married for about 5 years and he doesn't wear a wedding ring. He runs a printing press and can't wear any jewelry when working. So we just decided that he shouldn't even wear one. It doesn't bother me at all. We have a great relationship and we totally trust each other. Besides a ring isn't gonna keep someone from cheating if they want to.
1 person likes this
@shemah (840)
• Malaysia
18 Jun 07
Hahaha. That is sooooo true. If i guy would want to cheat on you, it doesn't matter AT ALL! Thanks alot! I understand those who would be upset.. It's just that I tend to focus my energy on the bigger things like our children, future, financial stability, etc. Again, thanks for your thoughts on the matter. :)
@daycarepal (1998)
• United States
17 Jun 07
It sounds to me that your husband has a good reason for not wearing his ring. If my husbands ring bothered his finger and made it uncomfortable for him, then I would be okay with him not wearing it. I still know that he belongs to me and is still committed to me and our family. That's what I think is important.
@youless (112108)
• Guangzhou, China
11 Jul 07
It's not a problem for us. Actually both of my husband and I don't wear the wedding rings. We don't like wearing the jewelry.
I think even if we don't wear the wedding rings, it doesn't mean anything. If we want to betray each other, even wearing wedding rings can't help. The marriage is based on the trust.
@psyche49f (2502)
• Philippines
11 Jul 07
For me, not anymore...there's no big deal whether my husband wears it or not...I think he does not have it anymore, so he must have lost or discolored it due to handling of chemicals. We've been married for the past 26 years, so wedding rings are no longer the only visible sign of our bond...our children are, as well as the love and respect we have for each other...it's not anymore symbolized by the wedding ring, which incidentally I don't wear anymore, at least not the original one because I had it cut when my fingers became bloated due to allergies. I had a second one, but I place it on my right finger ...I am no longer conscious where I place it...at 49, I guess wedding rings do not matter much...he, he, he
