marriage.... breaking up

@jmusser (178)
United States
June 17, 2007 3:46pm CST
Ive been married now for 2 1/2 years and me and my husband keep fighting a lot . We talk about nothing and the other day he told me he was talking to his friend about getting a divorce. Hes now upset because I have given up on him. How does he expect me to act? Im not sure how to feel or even act. His actions deffinatly show that he doesnt want to be married any longer . I have 1 child with him thats 2 and Im sure this is going to change a lot in our lives but do I stay with a man that doesnt love me just because I have a child with him?
4 responses
• United States
17 Jun 07
Hey Jm i am sorry to read this post honestly and hope things do get better for you and your husband ..I know its hard on the bad days to look forward and not wonder what going to happen especially when you have a little one..(my opinion follows and i am generally tough on things so please dont take it wrong cause i am not meaning to be rude,mean,or offensive.) He was talking to a friend about divorce and hes mad at you cause YOU are giving up?? well you wasnt the one out talking about it so thats wronggg..i think i would sit down and discuss the reasons why you both think things are going wrong? whats bugging you? whats bugging him? and make it plain and simple no arguing or belittling remarks just a heart to heart to try and help..every marriage goes through tough times ..it takes alot of give and take..dont forget you are a man and woman not just a mother and father ..you need time for YOURSELVES..keep it fresh have a date night..even if its just going for an ice cream cone together....and i watched a program with a couple who were married over 50 yrs HAPPILY and they said the key to a happy marriage was for both people to never fall out of love at the same time....people change and grow over the yrs maybe thats the problem gotta grow back together :) anyways i wish you the best
1 person likes this
@jmusser (178)
• United States
17 Jun 07
thank you :) I know if I contniue working towards our relationship everything will end up ok. Its just that Im the only one working on it. Its getting a little old. So the tip on make sure both dont fall out of love at the same time , ya it seems to me he may have never been there . He says he loves me ... you know the whole actions speak louder then words. I just feel like Im working on a relationship that exists in my mind. He says really discusting things to me ... of course whens hes angry but its still hurtful things that need to not be said. How do you learn to argue constructivly? We never get anything accomplished when we argue, but its almost like a hobby now its happens so often. Im to the point where I feel I deserve better. I wanna be loved and Im not getting that.
1 person likes this
@jmusser (178)
• United States
17 Jun 07
thank you:) I know if I contniue working towards our relationship everything will end up ok. Its just that Im the only one working on it. Its getting a little old. So the tip on make sure both dont fall out of love at the same time makes a world of since , but it seems to me he may have never been there . He says he loves me ... you know the whole actions speak louder then words. I just feel like Im working on a relationship that exists in my mind. He says really discusting things to me ... of course whens hes angry, but its still hurtful things that need to not be said. How do you learn to argue constructivly? We never get anything accomplished when we argue, but its almost like a hobby now its happens so often. Im to the point where I feel I deserve better. I wanna be loved and Im not getting that.
@jmusser (178)
• United States
17 Jun 07
thank you:) I know if I contniue working towards our relationship everything will end up ok. Its just that Im the only one working on it. Its getting a little old. So the tip on make sure both dont fall out of love at the same time makes a world of since , but it seems to me he may have never been there . He says he loves me ... you know the whole actions speak louder then words. I just feel like Im working on a relationship that exists in my mind. He says really discusting things to me ... of course whens hes angry, but its still hurtful things that need to not be said. How do you learn to argue constructivly? We never get anything accomplished when we argue, but its almost like a hobby now its happens so often. Im to the point where I feel I deserve better. I wanna be loved and Im not getting that.
@babostwick (2037)
• United States
17 Jun 07
If you think you can save the marriage then maybe marriage counseling is the way to go to see if it can work out that way. I don't think it's because of your child. That's just something I would suggest if it's possible to save the marriage if you both want to. As far as fighting a lot, I guess that's not a good sign. Hope I was able to help with ideas.
1 person likes this
@Akeela (2082)
• Trinidad And Tobago
17 Jun 07
You have a great point but im in a situations like that but honestly we both don't want that. Talk , talk we realise the things we use to love to do together we dont do it no more. We're slowly starting back to become how was before . So talk each other find out what you love doing with each even if it's you know what. You have a family do family activities or bribe a grandparent,trusting friend or family to babysit.
@xenpen (90)
• United States
17 Jun 07
You could try to work things out, but if you're sure the love isn't there anymore, I say it's time to get out of it. It would be best for you and your child if you were honest with yourself.