Recent break up with a child involved......I would like some opinions, please...
June 18, 2007 4:11am CST
I would like some opinions on your thoughts. My best friend has a 4 year old daughter she was in a relationship for 10 years (the father of her child). They recently split up she is completely moved out and in with her parents now. The break up was his fault and she had given him many chances but it was hopeless. Okay to make a long story short, usually on the weekends when her 4 year old goes to stay she has went with her the last 3 times. The first time was just to go and a watch a movie with him and hang out as friends for her daughters sake. Now the last 2 times her child wants her to come too. She will go and sleep in the same bed (king size) as her ex, stay there a few days. Usually they end up fighting anyway. I cant really get into her business but as her friend I dont like her going there because it just makes things tense between them. Do you have any personal experiences or opinions on this: staying at an ex's house because of your child? How is the relationship afterward? Friends, close friends, friends with benefits, enemies??? What are opinions on this situation please??
18 Jun 07
Staying at her ex-hubby's house because of her child is really a matter of concern. If they have split up then she should not visit ex's house, if visit is necessary then she should not stay at night. This stay may bring closure to both, there is every chance. Instead of going to hubby's home, she should keep her daughter with her. In this way she may avoid her ex-husband. If she continues this visit, there is every chance of becoming a good friend again in name of daughter. Sleeping in a bad and spending night hours in a bad, may creat atmosphere of coming close and close.
• Orangeville, Ontario
18 Jun 07
I think it is so totally wrong. I think they are giving the wrong impression to the child. The child will believe they are still a family and will become confused. The mother needs to step back. Perhaps she doesn't trust the father to leave the child alone with him. If that is the case then she can take him for supervised visits but no overnights. This is going to be so confusing for the child, and probably for the parents as well. They are sending each other and the child mixed signals. I don't think they have completely ended their relationship. They are still hanging on. Perhaps counselling is in order.