What should I do when the father of my child stops taking care of his child...

United States
June 19, 2007 12:47pm CST
Hi all, I have been broken up with my ex finance for about 3 months now. However, since we broke up he has not made ant attempts to be in his son's life. When we lived together he was always there for his son. He took his son out, he bought him things he was the greatest father in the world. But since he left he does nothing. My son or I will call his phone and he won't answer. He does give me any financial support for his son..And let me mention that when he left he left me with all the bills. Lucky momma didn't raise no fool and I had set aside enough money to get me threw for the last to months. He doesn't come see his son and worst of all he won't even give me a forwarding address. What should I do when the father of my child stops being a father. I feel so disappointed in him that I don't what to say, or think sometimes. I think to myself when u where out of work 4 years who carried u I did. I simple don't know anymore. Please give me some advice..
2 people like this
4 responses
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
19 Jun 07
I experienced that before when my ex-husband turn arround and leave's to me his obligation for my daugher. Fortunately I have a job of my own and only my parents is the one I can really trust to be with my daughters. Until my eldest daughter graduated from gradeschool I never saw him and he never had a time to visit and just say hi to her daughter. Until one day I was broke and lost my job and the only things to do is to adjust our life style so we can survive but many people suggest me that It is the time for me to ask help for him coz it is not for me but to our kids future. I have to ask a lawyer about it and finally God gives the answer to my prayer. Till now my daughter is already in her First year college he never visit her daughter but he continuously gives his monthly obligation. And this is only I will suggest to you try to find some help with a lawyer about your situation so you can moved on and take some actions about his obligation.
• United States
19 Jun 07
Legally the only things I could do is take him to court for child support...which I filed for last month...and then I could take him to small claims court for back rent...However, I don't have a forwarding address and on top of that he has not paid his taxes in years...So I am going to keep on trying and do what I have to do to maintain. Thanks for the advise and u keep it going as well..
1 person likes this
@disvachic (10123)
• United States
20 Jun 07
I have the same problem with my son's his father is not in his life and hasnt been since he was born.My son is now 11 years old.I have took child support out but his trifling butt dont work anywhere.I havent recieved any type of support from him.I think you better take him down for child support.If he is working they will get him.I wish you the best.Take care.http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/353200.aspx that is a discussion i made last year about it
@disvachic (10123)
• United States
20 Jun 07
http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/353200.aspx
• United States
20 Jun 07
Lucky, will I still had all his paperwork when he was here..i made copies of everything..i even his old driver's license...and i went and filed for child support last month..so hopefully something will come from that...
@ZenDove (698)
• United States
20 Jun 07
Oh, the things we do to our children! This man, of course, will have to answer to a higher court one day about how he's mistreating his child. This was the position I took with my son's father when he refused to pay child support, which he could more than afford. I didn't sue him in court because I believe in the law of karma - what you sow, you shall reap. I focused my energy on my son and encouraged his father to do the same. I left them to find their own rhythm together and did what I could to protect my son's feelings. I could have sued him but I didn't. It would have made our lives easier financially but I didn't want to feel as though I had to force his father to care enough to take care of his son. I cared enough and that was all I could be accountable for. I could not explain his father to my son and he never heard or saw us fighting. I think that if I had sued him, he would have spent even less time with his son. You sound like a strong, smart woman to me who will always take care of her business. This guy, or any guy, for that matter, who can walk away from a child without looking back has serious issues, to say the least. You can't solve his problems about manhood and neither can the courts. Sue him for child support because the money will make things easier on your child, but don't spend any more time wishing things were different with this guy. He let you take care of him for 4 years? Wow, I think he let you see then what he feels about responsibility.
• United States
21 Jun 07
Thanks ZenDove...When I spoke to my child's father over a month ago I told him that exact same thing that karma will come back and bite him in the butt...I told him that what comes around goes around. I have already filed for child support so I am waiting to see what happens with that..However, momma didn't raise no fool which is why I had some savings put aside just in case....But hay that just means that I have to work a little harder and show more love when it comes to raising my little guy..Lucky my son although he is 7 understands me he keeps me going....
1 person likes this
@kims374 (300)
• United States
24 Aug 07
my ex husband has been "missing" for over a year now. THere is an outstanding warrant for his arrest for non-payment of child support, and the arrears are over 20,000.00 He has not seen his kids in over 5 years- not my doing.... try to enforce it thru the courts- if he obviously does not want to have any involvement with his son, then he is not worthy of that relationship. Your son is better off without him. Do everything you can to get child support via the probation dept.