Would you tell?

United States
June 19, 2007 2:50pm CST
If you knew a horrible truth about your best friend's husband, like he was cheating or had done some terrible crime, would you share it with her? Or, keep the secret to protect her feelings?
2 people like this
10 responses
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
20 Jun 07
I'm actually in this situation now. My parents are friends with a couple like that. The husband sleeps around on the wife. No one tells her though. When I first found out I was shocked and thought she should know. But then I had spent some time with her because our kids are close in age. She talked about him and you could tell she was very happy and head over hills in love. Now i could see why no one told her. The only thing she would gain out of it would be a broken heart and a broken marriage. So I would just stay out of it.
• Philippines
20 Jun 07
sorry for butting in, but i think, you should still tell her. No secrets are secrets forever. If she would learn about it, her world would be shattered by that truth, at the same time, by the fact that the people around her did not tell her. She would feel betrayed by everyone. Telling her the truth would be better for she may think that she's losing someone great, but then that's the only way for her to gain someone greater. The thing is, you should be there for here until the time she realizes that it's really not her lost at all.
@youless (91536)
• Guangzhou, China
21 Jun 07
I will go to talk to her husband at first. I have to make sure that I won't make a misunderstanding. If I believe that he is cheating my friend. Then I will tell it to my friend. I can't hide it, as finally it may be much more hurtful for my friend.
@truelife (77)
• Thailand
21 Jun 07
This is a hard question. I've been in that situation before. I ended up telling my friend that his girlfriend was cheating on him. It was a big mistake because his girlfriend is my friend as well and our friendship went rocky for a while. A better way to go about this is probably to confront the person who is cheating by telling him/her that you know what's going on. I'd demand the cheater to stop or come clean. If not, then I would definitely let my friend knows WITH evidence! I am the kind of person who wouldn't believe something easily unless you have tangible proofs to back up your assumption...so yeah...
• Philippines
20 Jun 07
For me, I would talk to the guy. I would demand that he fix it with his wife. If he would refuse, then that's when I would talk to his wife. There would be a chance that the guy, while fixing it with his wife, might set me up and ruin my reputation with his wife, but that's all right. I would sacrifice the friendship rather than the family.
@donsky14 (5963)
• Philippines
20 Jun 07
well if its true, then yes, I would definitely tell her. she have all the rights to know about it. And I'm just gonna make sure that i'm gonna be there for her during those times.
@marinarovi (1318)
• Argentina
20 Jun 07
I think I would tell her, to protect her, no matter if she hates me for about 10 minutes or so... I think it's for the best... as long as I'm sure about what he did, I won't hurt her feelings for just a rumour or something!!
• United States
19 Jun 07
First I would check out my facts. And if true-cheating-I'd tell her because there are health consequences she could develop from her husband's unfaithfulness. One of my best friends is a GYN and she spoke at a conference on the number of spouses that have developed life threatening diseases as a result of the cheating. When someone is stepping in front of a train wreck would you not stop them? Would you pull your friend out of a burning building?
@magikrose (5424)
• United States
19 Jun 07
What I would do is get proof first then tell her. If she didnt believe me then I would show her the proof and then take it from there. It is not something I would want to do but if it saves her from getting hurt any more that she alread has been than I did my job.
@Nykkee (2523)
• Canada
19 Jun 07
My best friend has one child with her mand and another on the way. If I ever caught him cheating on her I think I would beat the crap out of him. I would definitly tell her. There is no way to rally protect someone from something like that and the longer it goes on the more hurt she will be when she finds out.
• United States
19 Jun 07
I would share, even if it might hurt our friendship. I think she would have a right to know. I would make it clear that I am there for her no matter what her decision is.