would you allow your husband sees his ex-girlfriend?

Philippines
June 21, 2007 1:16am CST
We've been married for 15 years, my eldest is 14, my second is 12, and my little boy is 5 years old. There was this girl that I only knew her by name, and she was the ex girlfriend of my husband during their(high school days). After 14 years, they met at the wake of the girl's father because their parents are good friends. For three weeks they see each other, they go out with the girl's brother, sometimes with my inlaws too. I have nothing against it coz I am confident enough that they're just good friends. The girl gave a cellphone to my husband so she can easily contact him. Until such time that I smell something fishy...but I never say a word. AFter three weeks the girl left coz she was a US citizen and she was also married but no child. A lot of messages sent to my husband and I never dare to read them until my eldest daughter read it and was so upset. I tried to be strong for my kids and I pretended that I am not affected. The girl used to call my husband in the office and at home, and my husband will tell also what they're talking and everything...my husband asked me if I'm mad or jealous...simply I told him. Sorry but I don't have any plan to invest in your business good luck to both of you. Their communication cut off after two months because the cellphone was no longer functioning at all. Or maybe God is just too good to me. hehehe... WE reach to the point that we have to choose the right decision...my husband told me that no matter what happen, I would always love you and our kids. I will die if you'll leave me. She's just a friend to me and I can't blame her if she keeps on loving me...what is important is that I love you and I will always will. Until now, we're still fighting against hardship in life but not the love that we have for each other.
2 people like this
7 responses
@Lucille7 (509)
• South Africa
21 Jun 07
When it comes to outside the marriage affairs, I say kick him out and just get rid of him. I do not care how many years you have been married, but he should know better. That is the most disrespectful thing that either partner can do to him/herself and that is get involved in another relationship of any nature with someone else. Men will always say that you are the one that they love. You have right and you should not put up with such a mess. Just kick him out...
• Philippines
22 Jun 07
I kicked him for so many times but he's still there. In fact he's been suffering from his doings anyway. Myabe at the right time...I used to tell him the door is open so you can go anytime you want, make sure that you' won't come back. hahahah...
@Lucille7 (509)
• South Africa
22 Jun 07
Well good luck and keep up the good work and have a stunning day!
@laltu86 (1253)
• India
21 Jun 07
It depends on the person we are taking into consideration is he a person to be belived and if yes then i see no harm in letting two old buddies meet and main stress on the word buddies , only friendship is great but if the old relationship again starts groing then its bad , rather a sin to have.
• Philippines
22 Jun 07
I think so, and the only thing that's in my mind is that I don't really care if I lost my husband, what matters to me are my kids. I know that my husband was guilty about that, It's his accountability to God not mine.
@Madona1 (2099)
• Gibraltar
21 Jun 07
I would say it depends on the ex' intention. Some ex just want to keep in touch as a friend; but some may try to make up the previous love they had lost. If your husband's situation meets the latter one, I think you had better tell your husband how you feel. Personally I think your husband should fully aware where he stands and makes his ex clearly understand that they are only friends. There should not be any misunderstanding might affecting you; her spouse and the rest of the families.
• Philippines
22 Jun 07
yeah, my husband told me that she's just a good friend but he just knew her feelings through her text, telling my husband that, " even if you're married to her(me of course), I know that in another footsteps in heaven you'll be mine"...see that? My husband was so surprised then, he can't blame her anyway. Thank God all three cellphones were out of order, so no messages anymore. Good for her...
@angela2006 (1846)
• China
21 Jun 07
if I were you,I can not stand that they contact with each other so often because they all have their lover and marriage.yes,I do not refuse they still be good friends,but they have their lover,so when they contact,they should take our feeling into consideration.
• Philippines
21 Jun 07
I really appreciate your feelings, it's really hard especially when there's a special feeling. The girl will be coming home next month. I'm just waiting what would happen, and what I want is to see her.
@limosonia1 (1559)
• United States
22 Jun 07
I can honestly say that you are a stronger women than I am or believe more than I could. I would be very bothered by it and would have told him so immediatly. I love and adore my husband and we are bonded but there are things that would truly hurt and bother me. I think it is selfish for a man to put you through such a ordeal to the point that it hurt your daughter.
• United States
22 Jun 07
o.k he was wrong for taking the cell phone from her and thats alot of time to spend with an ex without your wife.he was clearly disrespectful to you during this time and you should not let him get away with that i understand you love him and you have a family but,you have to put yourself first an deal with what he done.this is not something that you should just blow off you blow it off this time he might think it's ok to do it again
• Philippines
22 Jun 07
definitely no.. i am a jelous person. i get jelous easier. i am not married yet but i dont allow my boyfriend to see his ex. its not that i dont trust my boyfriend. i just dont want it. ^_^