Do you think people should marry for ideologies

@suspenseful (40326)
Canada
June 21, 2007 8:09am CST
I have seen so many people suddenly marry someone from a different ethnic or color group. I know that is not all because of love and possibly some are doing it to prove a point. Should people marry for love or to prove a point that they are not prejudiced? Isn't this wrong? I believe you should only marry for love and if you have things in common, like religious beliefs.
2 people like this
7 responses
@ssh123 (31104)
• India
15 Sep 07
I fully endorse your views. Ideological differences exist in most successful marriages but they get along knowing each other's weaknesses in different areas. But, if love is not the criteria, what is the foundation pillar for marriage? Secondly you have rightly said, if one is deeply committed to religion, and have tremendous beliefs, one may assure in the beginning that they respect your religious feelingsa but later on there will be wide gap in the relationships because there is no animated participation in religious activities of parnters, because they follow each other. Thirdly it will definitely have a far reaching bad effect on the children (if the marriage results in procreation!!). Bringing up a family with lots of confusion, dual roles, disrespect andmistrust can be avoided, if love and religious beliefs,mutual trust and mutual understanding alone stands as pillars of marriage.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
6 Nov 07
When my husband and I married, we had similar backgrounds, and were of the same belief, but we both quit that church. I found a new one, but he was so upset by the treatment of the old church, he never did. I miss having him come to Church with me.
@ssh123 (31104)
• India
6 Nov 07
Firstly I am grateful to you for awarding me with BR. Secondly, we go to temples (different temples) and I like certain temple for its sanctum sanctorium. My wife likes some other temple for some reasons. I do not go with her and I do not consider it as impediment to our relationship. She can do whatever she likes within the framework of marriage and I can do. Thanks for adding valuable comments to the topic.
@violeta_va (4842)
• Australia
15 Sep 07
I have never met anyone who got married because they wanted to make a point or to prove a point that they are not prejudiced. It is not like buying a chocolate just to prove a point that you are on a diet. There is so much to love and comitment that I dont belive that anyone would make a concious choice to marri because of that.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
6 Nov 07
I have never met anyone like that, but I see so much on Tv, that you wonder if when someone marries someone of a different ethnic group, whether they are marrying for love, or whether to prove a point. It would not matter if someone with brown hair and dark blue eyes married a girl who was light skinned African American, but what do they do? They get the actor who plays the African American from the darkest one they can find and the actress looks like a blond haired Nordic Swede and they appear the most loving couple and anyone who does not have that contrast does not look as if they are really in love. I know it is Tv, but it is not real life. In real life, you do not marry to prove a point or at least you shouldn't.
• Philippines
8 Sep 07
I always believe that two people should marry for love. Their nationality should not matter and even their ideologies. As long as they believe that they can get along well, sure that they can spend the rest of their lives together and that they could respect their beliefs and culture, they can marry. Marriage for me is finding the right person to your life with.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
8 Sep 07
I found that love does better when both of you are similar and not according to what you like. I was lucky in that not only was the one I married good looking, had dark hair and brown eyes, but also that we came from similar backgrounds.
@polachicago (19143)
• United States
6 Nov 07
I don't think anyone is ready to marry just to bring the point.... People mean it when they say yes regardless of skin color. We are living in global community and cultural differences are no longer much different...
@LittleMel (14059)
• Canada
6 Nov 07
when I met him online somehow I knew that he is the one. I don't know how I knew, but I followed my heart and we got married. Since we met to this date, he is the same person I met online. he didn't send me fake photos or make fake stories about living in a castle etc etc neither of us has to be other persons just to impress each other. we were good friends, became close and now spouse. I like his pale skin, color of his eyes and hair. he is in his element in winter, and I am in mine in summer. If there is anything stronger than love, than this is what I feel for him. he may not feel the same but I don't care.
@polachicago (19143)
• United States
6 Nov 07
This is love story LittleMel....lucky man, he was born under lucky star...
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14059)
• Canada
6 Nov 07
really? wow thanks. never thought of it that way. I do think I am lucky, that's all
@nesher (237)
• United States
6 Nov 07
This is one of the question that everyone should decide for himself. Definitely, love should be the only reason to get married. But, love is understood by different people differently. Ask 10 year old, 25 year old, 45 year old, and 80 year old, what love is it. And you should get different answers from the same person in different life stages. It is even more when people when you ask different people. People should follow their hearts, but should be ready to the fact that bigger difference between two in couple in terms of personal, educational, cultural, racial, religious background will require more significant efforts to make the family. People do not understand each other. How many families break apart, when two do not hear and understand, with similar background? US meting spot works well, but need several generations to get complete mix. It will eventually come. I have one example of the inter-cultural marriage, but it was not a positive example. My friend complained: he did not read classic European literature. There is nothing to talk with him about! But, I am sure, she did not read the classic American literaure at the same extent as he was. They listened different stories as kids, her English was not excellent, and he always mad friendly jokes on her mistakes. They love each other with great passion, but they could not survive day-to-day routine. With her friends he felt boring, the same she felt with his fellows. Eventually, their lives started to go different directions, and the split. May be, they did not love each other strong enough?
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
6 Nov 07
I believe that people should marry for love. I know some people marry for security, wealth, good name, to escape from a bad family life, loneliness or for other reasons. There are so many reasons why people marry it astounds me honestly. I married for love and I don't regret it because in the end, I will be with the one I love, not an ideology that will keep me company.