Is it really cheating if you've only dreamed it?

United States
June 21, 2007 10:15pm CST
Do you think it's cheating if you dream about having a romantic relationship with someone other than your spouse or partner. I'm not saying that you would actually have an affair with another person. But, do you think a romantic dream about an affair is your brains way of telling you that it's something it wants to do? Or, is it simply rehashing events from the day?
2 people like this
14 responses
@mayenskie (1308)
• Philippines
22 Jun 07
Well maybe if you dream of this woman and in reality you have some hidden desire in her. That desire is expressed in dreams maybe because you are subconsciously wanting the affair to happened. But if you dream of having an affair with an unknown woman, maybe it is one of those random dreams you have no control of. I cannot held you guilty on that. It would be cheating if you make the dream a reality and engage in extra marital affairs behind your wife's back.
1 person likes this
@4cuteboys (4102)
• United States
22 Jun 07
Well I wouldnt hold it against someone, because you cant control what you dream and it isn't the persons fault, however it really makes you think that maybe they are not happy in the relationship or something if they are dreaming about someone else like that! So I would say no, it isnt cheating, but maybe the person having the dream needs to reflect on how they are feeling about their relationship and if its what they want it to be and if they are with the right person.
1 person likes this
@archer1811 (1099)
• Philippines
23 Jun 07
Hi beautyqueen! you know what? when i read your post i smile coz it reminded me of something, a past few months i dreamed of having a boyfriend and i actually confessed it to my husband and he get jealous, i laughed at him because that was just a dream and not exist in real life and doing it dont even cross in my mind, he discusses so many things and circumstances, and i just laughed at his reaction. But the guy in my dream was my old friend w/c he used to got jealous before. Maybe dream is just a fruit of a restful sleep and no meaning at all.
• Philippines
23 Jun 07
For me its not cheating, its just a dream and dont mean anything in real life.
@Calais (10900)
• Australia
22 Jun 07
Those are the best dreams....lol. As long as it stays a dream I wouldnt care. It really dosnt mean anything if your not going to act on it...
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
22 Jun 07
I don't think that having a romantic dream like you describe is cheating on your partner. Can you really control your dreams? They might be suggesting something but they could also be suggesting something about your partner even though your partner was not directly part of the dream. I wouldn't worry about these kind of dreams as long as you have no desire to act them out in real life. They are probably harmless.
@crazynurse (7489)
• United States
22 Jun 07
Wow, what a question! Interesting to think about. Firstly, one has no control about what they dream, so to hold them liable for the dream seems wrong to me. One does have to wonder though, is the person dreaming about an affair because they think about it often or are unhappy in their marriage. Very interesing topic!
@Lucille7 (509)
• South Africa
22 Jun 07
No I do not believe that it is cheating as you have not done anything, your brain was just busy processing stuff even though you were not physically thinking about the person or what your dreamt about.
@trk918 (254)
• United States
22 Jun 07
You can't control your dreams. Dreams rarely mean what they seem to anyway. It's harmless as long as you never act on those dreams.
• United States
22 Jun 07
no, i wouldnt consider this cheating at all. i dont even think it means that you necessarily want to cheat either. i think there is a hidden meaning behind dreams. i would say to think about who that person was that you are cheating with. what do you really think about that person? how does that person make you feel? are you lacking this feeling in your real relationship? in your dream, why are you cheating? could it be that you are bored in your real relationship and this is bringing excitement? there are so many questions you can ask yourself. look deeper into the meaning of that dream rather than just pointing out the obvious.
@IL2Knit (1141)
• United States
22 Jun 07
No Hunny it means nothing of the sort. A dream is just a dream. You have on control over them.
@butterfly39 (3907)
• Philippines
22 Jun 07
Of course not, it's only a dream anyway. Dreams have a lot of meaning and it's a good dream. Your dream tells something that you really love your partner.
@jmcafam (2891)
• United States
22 Jun 07
I don't think it is cheating. Just as long as you don't act on it with the person. I mean it is not like you control your dreams like you can control your actions.
@magica (3710)
• Bulgaria
22 Jun 07
Well, the imagination and the daydreaming are illusion or dellusion in depends of how strong is the connection with the reality. You can dream about somebody, this is normally, but if you are obsessed by your dreams of this person and you cant live your normal life- it can cause some problems too.
• Philippines
22 Jun 07
This happens to me a lot too. Usually it's triggered if I encountered that person that day. I realized that it has something to do with open romantic issues with that particular person. So far, I've tried to limit interacting with him and it seems to help. Is it cheating? I don't think so as long as you don't do anything to try to make those dreams into a reality.