Would you wanna stay friends after a breakup?

Breaking Up - Some people would never wanna stay friends after a breakup. I would still want to.
Malaysia
June 22, 2007 7:59pm CST
Some people say that when it's broken, it can't be fixed. And the friendship that you once had, goes down the drain together with your relationship. Is that true? Would it really be hard to remain friends even after a breakup? What do you guys think? Would you still wanna be friends? I would~! If the breakup happens to be a mutual one, then I'd definitely wanna stay friends with my ex boyfriend. Maybe the relationship would never work out, but staying friends could be more beautiful than the relationship. However, maybe if the breakup was really hard, I might not be able to be friends with him. I dunno.. I've remained friends with my ex-boyfriend even after he cheated on me. So how about you? Do share.. :) Thanks~!!
11 people like this
41 responses
@4cuteboys (4103)
• United States
23 Jun 07
To this day I have never remained friends with any of my exes. Some I loathe, and some ended okay, on good terms but I chose not to talk to them anymore. If me and my hubby ever split up, we would remain friends. I know no matter what that I couldn't stay angry with him, even if we werent together and I feel a good relationship would be nice for the kids :)
2 people like this
• Malaysia
23 Jun 07
Yeah, I think it would always be different with the father of your kids. It's hard to stay mad and not be friends. I'm glad that you also put your kids as priority. Some couple's I've known wouldn't really care about what their kids want.. Sad, huh?
1 person likes this
@rangics (1335)
• Philippines
23 Jun 07
Yes you're right pal. It's quite hard to become friends again after a very painful break-up. Break-ups are always painful isn't it?. It's better to be friends somehow but I if the decision is not mutual ( I mean with the break-up) That'll be tough. ;(
• Malaysia
24 Jun 07
Hey, rangics~! Yeah, it could definitely be tough to remain friends and pretend everything is fine if the breakup was hard to begin with. But I believe after time, whether a short period or long, we could all forget about the past. Well, I'm speaking for myself.. :P
@babostwick (2037)
• United States
23 Jun 07
I tend to not hold grudges as it is rather unhealthy. It would depend on the break up and then see what happens from there. That's how I feel about it and sometimes I don't hear from people again so there you go not because of hatred but because of just moving on in life. If it's mutual then yeah I could stay friends with someone. If it's ugly then I would say no and that'd be the end of it.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
24 Jun 07
I can see what you mean. Sometimes we just don't keep in touch with our exes not because we don't wanna be friends with them, just because we have other things to do in life as well.. I don't like keeping grudges as well. I could really kill me~!! :P
@youless (86524)
• Guangzhou, China
23 Jun 07
It's too difficult to become friends after the breakup. As it'll be so sad to me. I prefer to get away with him alone for a long time. After I recover and then it's possible to remain as friends.
• Malaysia
23 Jun 07
Yeah, it could definitely be tough. All you need is time. Thanks for responding youless.. All the best to you.. :)
• United States
23 Jun 07
I don't hold grudges whether I was once hurt by the person. For me to forgive is to forget. Its hard for anyone to do this especially if they are deeply hurt by the one they love. They think most of the time how they had suffered in pain. Of course you need time to heal your agony. Once you get through with it, you need to move on. If the person is not right for you and you believed that its not meant to be. Go ahead face the world with a smile on your face. Its not the end of the world when you close you door to someone. God has better plans for you and perhaps that past relationship is just one of the trials that you must need to surpass so you will learn something from it. He prepares us without us knowing it so we can handle better with another person in the future.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
23 Jun 07
You couldn't have said it any better. It took time for me to be friends with my ex, but in the end, we're friends and I think that's all that matters. When we talk about our past and how he cheated on me, we could really laugh about it and have a healthy conversation. I thought breaking up with him would mean the end of my world, but now I've found a great boyfriend and we've been together for 6 years next month.. :)
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
23 Jun 07
i agree with you with that... some people dont have a good relationship as couples but can be good friends, but we have different traits and characters. it may ok for us but the person we wanted to be friend has a different thinking. but for me it is always nice to remain as friends and i mean real good friends
• Malaysia
23 Jun 07
Yup~! You're right~! There has to be something remaining since we were able to love each other once before, right? So being friends would really be nice. Thanks roniroxas~! ;D
• United States
23 Jun 07
i am friends with just 1 out of all my ex. i am not sure if it's because we have a child together has anything to do with it but,he consider me as his bestfriend and i do the same we talk abut everything together even though he is married an i am engaged we still talk everyday and are concern about each other.
@maryannemax (12174)
• Sweden
23 Jun 07
i know people who are like you. people who can stay friends and even bestfriends with their exes. i admire their courage though. it's something i cannot do since i am really an emotional and a sensitive person... anne
• Malaysia
24 Jun 07
Yeah, I was saying that as well in my previous comment how things would be different with the father of your child. I think there's already a bond there that's hard to disconnect, even though not in the form of an intimate and romantic relationship. So in your case, I think that that bond is really hard to let go, and you guys remain best of friends. I really think that's impressive and healthy for the both of you and also your child. All the best poetshannon~! ;D
• Malaysia
23 Jun 07
friendship - friends are forever
i wouldn't mind being friends after a breakup. it would probably be hard at first but in time i think it would be ok. although things might not be the same as they used to be but if we can't be lovers then perhaps we're much better off as friends.
• Malaysia
24 Jun 07
Yeah, I agree with you kevsgirlalways.. :) Thanks for sharing~!
@wiccania (3362)
• United States
23 Jun 07
I think that it depends on a lot of things, the relationship and how it ended for example. I still love my ex, and would take him back if he wanted to get back together (even tho he cheated on me). We have a son together (that's not why I would take him back), so I will always have a relationship with him. I think that it would be better for it to be a friendly relationship than a hostile one. Besides, he's my "Ducky" (think John Cryer in Pretty in Pink) and he always will be.
• Malaysia
24 Jun 07
Awww. that's so sweet.. Like I said commented earlier in someone's response, it would be hard to just cut ties with the father of your child. There's already some kinda bond there. I'm just guessing though, I never did have that experience, but I guess that's just how it is.. :)
@meljessxena (2319)
• Australia
23 Jun 07
if i broke up with my bf i dont think i could talk to him aferwards, it would be to hard i think
• Malaysia
24 Jun 07
Owh, I assume it was a hard breakup then?? I'm sure you just need to time get over it. Breakups are never easy.. :)
23 Jun 07
I have remained friends with my ex and we are happier. My brother remains friends with his own exes and hes happy, too. So I see no reason why you shouldn't be their friends, I mean, if you still wanna be friends, that's your choice, but if the break up is beyond repair... That's your decision. It's your choice no matter what. You can be friends or enemies. Take your pick
• Malaysia
24 Jun 07
'You' as in ME? lol.. I was just confused there for a while.. Yeah, I agree with you too. I've stayed friends with me ex and I feel better than to hold any grudges. If both parties are ok with sticking as friends, then why not.
@shemah (841)
• Malaysia
23 Jun 07
I don't mind being friends with an ex.. i really don't. But it depends on the other person to. If my ex doesn't mind to be friends, then by all means. But if for whatever reason he doesn't want to, then I guess it's better off that way then and don't push it. So basically, it all depends on the ex. Because I don't care too much about the past.. even if it was a bad breakup. Like my ex and i, we just stick to the basic "hi, how are you?", "good" then la la la la la... and move away. hahaha.. :D
• Malaysia
24 Jun 07
Yup, I totally know what you mean~! Sometimes even though we're perfectly fine and just wanna be friends, the other person might not feel comfortable about it. So then there's nothing much we can do. We wouldn't wanna be too pushy. I think it would definitely be harder if we were the one being dumped, and we would still wanna be friends. The ex might think that we're just trying to have that relationship back, so that would be really ugly~! :P
@whyaskq (7553)
• Singapore
24 Jun 07
I really envy you are able to remain friends after a breakup. In my opinion, it all depends on why the breakup happen in the first place. If everything is fine, why part? If it was parted amiably where both agree to part because of incompatibility, there is higher possibility of remaining as friends. However, often, it is difficult to remain as friends as most couple breakup because of some unhappiness and especially when one find it hard to forgive and forget.
@argie713 (1809)
• Philippines
24 Jun 07
I think it would be hard to remain as friends when you have grudges. When you breakup mutually, staying as friends could be possible. But if your ex has someone new. I guess it would hurt. I really don't know, I haven't been in that situation before.
@banta78 (4335)
• India
24 Jun 07
I feel if the breakup is mutual and both parties are happy with the decision as the best one under given circumstances, then maybe they can reamin friends esp. if it was long relationship. But if the breakup was hard as one was caught cheating or dumped one for another then breakup leads to mistrust and hurt. And i don't think one can remains friends then.
• Australia
24 Jun 07
I think it depends on the circumstances and if you guys want to keep it going. Sometimes the hurt from the breakup is too much to handle, that seeing the other person and remaining friends, makes it very hard to keep being friends. Personally i would love to stay friends, but i haven't been so lucky with my intentions, and i've missed some very important people in my life.
@IL2Knit (1141)
• United States
24 Jun 07
Wow I never wanted to be friends with an ex. But then my ex was violent. I moved me & my kids from TX to WI just to get away from him.
• Singapore
24 Jun 07
Hmm, I guess all this really depends on how the couple really broke up. If it was an amiable one with mutual consent, I guess that makes it easier for them to continue to remain friends. However, if it was a really nasty breakup for example due to some disagreement both parties fought bitterly over, then it would probably not be so easy for them to continue to be friends after that.
• United States
24 Jun 07
It depends on the person and the situation around the break up. With some people, it's just easier to get along with them, even if things have turned out bad. Having a mutual break up with out a lot of fuss certainly helps the situation a lot I think. When you have one of those rather nasty break ups, where someone ends up cheating and they haven't been the best partner period, you just don't want anything to do with them, so that's pretty much it for the relationship. Friendship or otherwise. Sometimes I'd rather leave the past behind, that includes relationship partners. Some of those people I'd rather not have around. Otherwise, if we're still able to remain friends after the break up, then so be it. I don't have any problems with that as long as they understand the relationship is over.
• Hong Kong
24 Jun 07
I think this is an ideal state to keep friends with ex-es. But I would say it really depends on how the stories ended. Some of the stories are really ugly and I wouldn't want to be reminded of, like the person started invading your privacy and accusing you of something you didn't do, I would delete the person in my system. But if it's a friendly break up, then I would love to have that person as a friend because somehow at some point we did fall in love and I treasure that as a memory. So it really depends on the person.