What Would You Have Done?

@wachit14 (3595)
United States
June 23, 2007 8:07pm CST
Today I went food shopping for some things for my son's graduation party tomorrow. I was in a very good mood, but when I got on line at the checkout a woman, rushed in front of me. I got on line in back of her and she turned around and said "you can't get behind me because there's another wagon that has to go behind me". I didn't say a word and I just walked away looking for another line. Apparently, she had another woman she was shopping with who she wanted to get behind her. I let it go, but she said to the other woman in a very loud voice "some people just can't be nice" and I assume she was talking about me. Again, I didn't say a word to her, but from my own perspective, she was the one who was rude to me, not the other way around. I finally found another checkout line and just left, but I was really upset that I didn't speak up. What would you have done in my position? Would you have said anything or kept quiet like me?
8 people like this
28 responses
24 Jun 07
JUst in one of my other discussions I was saying I am not one to hesitate complaining but i think in instances like this it's just best to brush it off and say nothing cos you'll probably just get yourslef in more of a rage by getting on her case and no matter what she'll go home thinking your the one with the problem. I think in supermarkets there is so many fights. People get themselves so stressed and some people really just don't have a clue how to behave towards other people. I think you done the right thing by just going away and saying nothing and just trying to get on with your day cos no matter what you said to that woman she would have thought that she was right. Sometimes though you really just wish that you could give people a real piece of your mind and tell them their behaviour is totally acceptable.
@wachit14 (3595)
• United States
24 Jun 07
The problem in this particular supermarket is that there are not that many cashiers available. They installed these self-checking lines and everyone hates them so they fight over the few cashiers who are left to check people out when they are done shopping.
1 person likes this
24 Jun 07
Last night I was standing scanning my items through a self service scanner with my mum and saying to her that Americans would laugh if they knew that in Scotland we blooming had to scan, pay for, pack our bags in the supermarket. We were buying clothes and all sorts. We always think that the states give much better customer servce than here so it kind of makes me feel a bit better that you too are having to go through this as well as it drives us crazy!
@daycarepal (1998)
• United States
24 Jun 07
I might have said.....I don't see any other cart. And then I probably would have stayed there. But of course that's easy for me to say now cause it didn't happen to me. There have been many times when I wish I would have spoke up and said something to rude people. Sometimes I will do it, and other times I don't and feel bad later that I didn't.
@wachit14 (3595)
• United States
24 Jun 07
Many times I do speak up, but this time I felt that she was trying to pick a fight with me and prove to everyone around her that I'm the one who wasn't nice. Frankly, if she had said "excuse me, but I have another cart behind you that I would like behind me" I would certainly have been understanding.
1 person likes this
@coferbox (298)
• United States
26 Jun 07
Were you already in the line and she pushed in front of you? If so when she said 'you can't get behind me' you should have said 'you should be behind me I was here first' and stood your grand. If she didn't let you back in front of her you still shouldn't have walked away. You can be polite but firm and stand your ground. But to be fair there is a time in my life when I would have let her get away with it and just walked away mad - it took me a long to get to the point I can stand up for myself.
@winky73 (1404)
• United States
25 Jun 07
I most likely would have said something.....but sometimes it's just easier to walk away and not even waiste your breath on someone that ignorant. Just don't let people like that spoil your good mood.....you know she was wrong and would it really have made you feel better if you had said something to her? I don't think it would have made a difference to her either way.
@aprilgrl (4460)
• United States
25 Jun 07
I think you did the right thing to let it go and if you said something there's no telling what would happened . There is way too many people that are rude and just don't care about other people's feelings.
• United States
24 Jun 07
I am not a confrontational person by nature, but I believe this would have pushed me a bit to far. I hate grocery shopping in the first place and by the time I get to the checkout I'm pretty viscious.I don't think I would have left, but I also don't think I would have made a big scene. It's nice to stand on the outside after the fact and say OH, I would have told that woman where to get off, and pushed my way back in front of her, but I don't think anyone can honestly say what we would have done in that situation. I uderstand perfectly how you felt afterward about not speaking up and wondering if you were a doormat or something. She WAS the one who was rude, but what would making a scene have accomplished? You would still be upset when you left the store and more than likely still have been second guessing your actions. I can't say you were right or wrong here and as I've said, I really can't say what I would have done, except been boiling inside. Congradulations to your son on his gaduation by the way.
@wachit14 (3595)
• United States
24 Jun 07
I felt the same way about not wanting to make a scene. She seemed like she was looking for a fight and I just didn't want to give her one. Thanks for the good wishes.
@GardenGerty (157027)
• United States
24 Jun 07
I see by reading this entire discussion that it was not really about the inconvenience, but about her poor attitude. You said if she had asked nicely, you would have had no trouble. I think I am a lot like you. I would not have wasted any of my time or breath on her, as I can control myself, even if I cannot control the other person. I think talking about it here is a real release. You did the right thing, and anyone around knows that you did the right thing. You did not lower yourself to her level. It is too bad if she was able to destroy your joy, though, even for a minute. Best wishes to the graduate, I hope the celebration was a blast.
• Canada
24 Jun 07
I hate confronting others and would probably have done the same thing as you but would have been upset about it all day about how others can be ignorant and not even realize it . You were in the line first and she cut in front of you so how she could have said that you were not being nice is beyond me . Some people can be really pushy and bossy and it makes you wonder how they got to be this way and do they really think this is the way to go about doing things . When they go home at night do they really think they were in the right ?
• Canada
24 Jun 07
I would most definitely have spoken up. What a rude ignorant little b**ch! I wouldn't even have let her get in line in front of me. I would have said "excuse me, you're not the only one with places to be, now could you join the line like everyone else has to do?" And if she refused, I would have made a complaint to the manager. Don't feel bad that you didn't speak up. We all react in different ways when confronted with an awkward or uncomfortable situation.
• United States
24 Jun 07
Oh! You weren't rude at all! I hate rude people! She had no right to ask you to get out of line, her friend should have been with her, or she should have let you go ahead of her! I had an experience with a rude person not to long ago! If you want to read my disucussion about the rude lady at mcdonalds! It was terrible!
@psyche49f (2502)
• Philippines
24 Jun 07
What you have done was truly admirable...my, if I were the one, I'd have freaked out and reasoned with her. Anyway, she was the aggressor and you chose to keep quiet so as not to make a scene, so you were the 'good' person there. Some people think that the world owes them, that's why they are so demanding, they like to get what they want. Anyway, that woman may have also her 'story' like she was treated unfairly as a child, so now she is getting even at everything...that could just be an example of a 'story'. Behind the facade of hostility, aggression is a bruised person who is just trying to be 'vindictive' and picks on anyone she comes across with. So next time you meet people who are so demanding, think of a possible explanation behind it....congrats for choosing a passive but more civil response to a rude behavior...
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
24 Jun 07
You did well to restrain your self to this extent! I admire your self control! This woman was rude and self centered, and there was no percentage in trying to teach her anything! The only advise that I can offer is.....If a like incident should ever happen again, Try not get upset about it, maintain your Pride. Hold your head up and Send this woman Love. (God Knows she needs Help) I would Hope that in your position, I would have been able to carry it off just as you did. Congratulations!
@paulick (533)
• Denmark
24 Jun 07
I think you did the right thing. Starting a discussion with her wouldn't change anything. If you started it, she would probably win, people with that kind of attitude is used to these things. By just walking away you were the bigger person, and i would feel good about myself knowing that.
• India
24 Jun 07
I think ur in a good mood and u have done shopping for ur son i too waste that much time for that kind of people just u walk away from her and we should not care for such kind of poeple let them leave for their fate but i will not get disppointed and i wont make other also..........
@Jetdanet (1025)
• Portugal
24 Jun 07
Im a reserved guy in that cases, cause we never know what happens, which reactions that other people have. Im from Portugal and generally people are good and non-violent, but it happens sometimes to meet a angry person and we dont know what he can do. Im small and weak so...i dont take the risk. 5 minutes or 5 less words we say can make our day less stressfull.
@meljessxena (2315)
• Australia
24 Jun 07
i have had this happen to me before, and i said excuse me what do you think your doing, and all she did was look at me and say oh sorry. and went behind me. but in your case, it sounded like that lady needed to be put in her place. i dont like people like that
• United States
24 Jun 07
I would've done exactly what you did...I mean, why make things worse? That person wasn't worth your attention in any way, if you had responded, she would've had power over you. I suppose there are a few things in life response is required, but not in a checkout line when there's a rude person involved. Try and understand, too, that person is probably very unhappy, and maybe people have treated her really badly in her life. I try to think of these things when that sort of thing happens to me...once in awhile I'm successful, not like I'd like to be all the time. I just keep practicing...trying to be compassionate, that is, and stay in a positive frame of mind.
@tamikotan (483)
• Philippines
24 Jun 07
f were in that sitution, I will definitely confron that person. These people ofte do this because they think they can get away with it. It should not bee case. They have no regard for the other person's feeling. They do not know how to respect others. I personally think that this people need to go back to school or have their parents teach them some manners. I get irritated with these type of people. They don't even think what they would feel if someone did that to them.
• United States
24 Jun 07
i won't keep quiet, i will complain, i think the time is the most important thing for youngling.
• Romania
24 Jun 07
Is awful when someone manages to screw your day. It just not worth arguing with this kind of people because they have other mentality, other character, other life concepts.They don't think that their actions are wrong. I rather leave and go to another line and ignore them.