What happen to an "US" night?

United States
June 23, 2007 9:51pm CST
So I'm sure many of you know I have a daughter that is 11 weeks old. My friend from work offered to watch the baby tonight while my husband and I have an "us" night. Just go to the movies or rent one or just have time for us. Well it's almost 10PM CST here in Rockford, IL. I'm sitting at home with all my mylot friends. Alexi is asleep in her crib. And where is my husband? Out getting a tattoo with his friends. mmmm... is this a healthy marriage for me if he won't make time for me, but he will for his friends?
3 people like this
7 responses
@mrsbrian (1951)
• United States
24 Jun 07
NO NO NO and did I say No what is he thinking? I do not think it is a healthy relationship at all,Did your husband know about what you wanted to do before he ran off to be with his friends? I understand that men can be so uncareing at times but i think with you having such a new baby you need some time together and alone, and it was nice of your friend to offer to babysit so you two could have that time. Im sorry but I find that very disrespectifull.
• United States
24 Jun 07
Oh I've been bugging him all day on what are we going to do. So he knew about it Friday night when I first told him. He always does this. Someone offers to watch the baby and he said we'll have a little family night with just the three of us. Then either he takes off with his friends or else his friends are all over here.
@mrsbrian (1951)
• United States
24 Jun 07
Well if he dose it all the time, its time for you to put a stop to it or it will only get worse.Family time is important as is time alone, its just not good for a relationship to be no time alone, or him not takeing you out for some time together alone with no friends.Talk to him and tell him how you feel and it is really bothering you.
@KrisNY (7592)
• United States
24 Jun 07
Well-- I think I would have taken the offer- Had a friend watch your baby- and went out yourself- Maybe if you go out more than maybe your hubby will think- hmm-- And start being around more- Are you newly married? Could be this- I would talk to him about it- Sure everyone needs time out with their friends- but certainly time together also!
@sharon_ (1171)
• United States
24 Jun 07
Very inconsiderate of the hubby. I hope the tatoo he got was either you or your daughters names.Maybe then you would be able to forgive him.
@psyche49f (2511)
• Philippines
24 Jun 07
Most men don't like to be 'domesticated' that's why they opt to go out once in a while for a boys' night out. At least most men I know do this. However, in your case, since you have a little baby, he could help you in babysitting, but as soon as he's free, he joins his friends. It's not that he prefers them over you...I guess it's more of a need to socialize and go out with friends at times. You go ahead and talk to him about it, it's better to express yourself, rather than hold back your feelings. That way, he can understand that you too have a need, and that he is the only one who can fill that need. You 'us' time is good for both of you; plan more of it as often as you can...
@cynddvs (2950)
• United States
24 Jun 07
This is something me and my fiance had to adjust to after having our daughter as well. It's so much easier for the men to go out with their buddies then it is for women. I know my fiance tells me all the time I can hang out with my friends whenever I want but it's just not that easy. Before going out I have so many things to do that's it's just exhausting so he ends up going out instead. I had to sit him down and talk to him when my daughter was about 4 months old. I just explained to him that we needed our time together and that I also needed my time to get out and just be me. I was the worlds worst about staying on the internet all night at home while he was out having fun. Myspace became my best friend (I hadn't heard about MyLot yet). So I know exactly what you are going through. Just talk to your hubby and tell him your need your time with him.
@LadyK2 (71)
• United States
24 Jun 07
My personal opinion? Next time someone offers to watch the baby, take them up on it - and don't tell him about it! Drop off the baby and go out for a night with the girls or just by yourself! If he can do it so can you! And when he gets home and finds you gone, maybe then his eyes will open! But if he dares to open his mouth, just remind him that He does it all the time! What's good for the goose is good for the gander and vice versa! Maybe then he'll see what he's doing - and if he don't, ask him point blank if he's happy in his marriage! If he's happy, he should be able to HAPPILY spend one night a month at the very least with just you and him or just the 3 of you. If he can't do that - maybe he needs to do some thinking about what a marriage really is. Also - remember guys need to go out with "the guys" once a month, and we ladies need a ladies night once a month as well. Give him his once a month out, and be sure to take yours too. Be sure to have a date night once a month for the two of you alone as well, and a family night also. 4 nights a month might not sound like much, but it's very important to all relationships to have that space as well as that togetherness. JMO
@maddysmommy (16236)
• United States
24 Jun 07
I would definitely be annoyed by that if he chose his friends over me. I mean how often do us mothers get a chance to have a night off without any children and just me and the hubby? oh when he gets home or the next day he sure will be hearing it all from me. Once, ok, twice, he's pushing it, but if its more than that, no siree, I will not sit back and take that, sorry.