My ex is getting married....

@Marie2473 (8523)
Sweden
June 27, 2007 10:16am CST
.... and he actually had the nerve to call me up to tell me the news and also if there is a chanse that I will ever go back to him he will not go through with the whole thing. I am so sick of this guy not letting go and I told him that. I told him that I had NO intention at all of getting back with him, that I am alot happier now than I have ever been and that I have finally found someone whos mission in life is to NOT hurt me. I can not belive that he even thinks for a secound that I would take him back after what he has done to me. The 4 years I was with him is something i would not mind erasing from my memorie. Sure we did have good times as well, otherwise I would not have stayed for so long, but most of them was actually bad! I feel really sorry for the girl he´s going to marry as well. I doubt that she will be happy but it is not my problem. Have you ever had a problem with someone not letting go? How did you make them?
6 people like this
28 responses
@coolseeds (3925)
• United States
27 Jun 07
Yes. There was a girl who wouldn't leave me alone. She bugged me for about 20 years. I called her husband once because she wouldn't go away. I told him to keep his dog on a leash because it was straying. But that didn't make her stop. Eventually she got a divorce. She continued for about 5 years after that. I just got fed up with it and was really mean and she left me alone. It is a shame that you have to yell at someone and be mean for them to leave you alone. Maybe she thought that she would make my girlfriend leave me because of her antics. I don't know but she is crazy. Everyone called her the stalker.
2 people like this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
27 Jun 07
That sounds like a stalker indeed. i am glad that he atleast does not live close to me =) All he can do to contact me is use the phone!
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jun 07
Wow, what an idiot this man is. He definately has some issues Marie. There was a guy that I had seen for a while that kept coming around after I told him it was over. I stopped answering the phone when he called. I immediately erased the messages he left. When I saw him in public, I turned and walked in the opposite direction. When he waved, I didn't return the gesture. It eventually ended his attempts to keep me connected with him.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
29 Jun 07
I have tried all this. I have even changed my number but he keeps getting it from someone. This number I have now, only few people have so I have no idea where he gets his hands on it. It is sad that he still is not ready to let go since I did a long time ago.. whats even more sad is the fact that he really thinks that I still love him after all the abuse he put me through =)
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jun 07
I am sorry that you have to endure this childish and somewhat frightening behavior from this man. You deserve to be able to move on with your life. You have found happiness, focus on that.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
29 Jun 07
Yeah he is scary at times - reminds me of a stalker. However just like u say - i will concentrate on my happiness that i have now.
@rangics (1335)
• Philippines
2 Jul 07
Why on earth your 'ex' is getting married anyway?. I mean look at what he's trying to do before his own marriage...is he serious with his fiance then?. What wa he thinking about winning you back?. Gosh! You're definitely okey without him. You don't deserved such a guy! Just keep on holding on to what you believed is good for both of you. Never ever try to win him back because he's not worth it. He's not a loyal and honest person. ( Sorry! ) Goodluck pal! :)
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
2 Jul 07
I would not even take him back if he was the only guy left on this planet - I would rather turn gay *haha*
@kiwikidz (753)
• New Zealand
2 Jul 07
I'm really sorry you had to put up with someone like this but not sorry you are now not with him. What sort of life would you have been having with him if the two of you got married, it's a bit scarry to think of. I also feel sorry for the poor girl he is about to marry, shame you can't say something to her, but she probable would only think you were jealous. I think you should find someone to talk to about letting go of the past because that is where it should be left so you can go on with your own life, also get a new phone number or new address so he cannot contact you. Congrats on the new man in your life, hope all turns out ok for the future. God Bless you both.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
2 Jul 07
Well the things is that the girl he is with does know. He has told her himself that he will never ever love her the way he loves me and she seems to accept that. Dont know how or why - but she does. I am glad that i am not with him anymore - that I am with someone that i can give my whole heart to without the fear of him crushing it with his bare hands.
• Philippines
29 Jun 07
You should be flattered that someone thinks youre very special. I dont think hes really getting married. I think hes just trying to make you jealous or trying to get your attention. Anyway, youre still lucky to be loved by someone so much despite the bad times. I sort of understand how you feel. I used to be in that kind of relationship but it wasnt as bad as yours that you would want to erase them from your life. We were able to work things out and adjust with each other. Things are better now. I hope you find someone who will really and truly love you whom you will spend your whole life with.
1 person likes this
• Australia
29 Jun 07
Oh I feel sorry for your past x husband's unhappy memories. I'm glad your finally out and happy right now. Good luck to your future love. I don't see any reason why your hubby would phone you, probably wants to hurt you? and see if you will ever get jealous?
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
29 Jun 07
Probably, but I do not get jealous since ido not feel a thing for him any more-
@sunshinecup (7882)
28 Jun 07
Yes, an ex boyfriend. Called day and night, he even called my job looking for me. I couldn't get it in his head to just leave me alone. He was a lying two faced jerk that was a pretty model. Reckon he couldn’t believe there was a woman alive that didn’t want him. What was my solution? I moved to another state, LOL. Not only that but I got married while gone and changed my name. OK, ok, I am sure that is a bit more drastic than what you are most likely looking for, but hey you asked :oD
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
29 Jun 07
hehehe, well I have gotten a new man living with me atleast even if we are not married. Still he does not get it. I do not understans why he just cant move on with this girl he is with now, it is not fair to her either, although she does know the whole story and usually is around whenever he calls me.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
28 Jun 07
My ex-husband did not leave me alone for months and months after we split up. even after the divorce, he continued to remind me that he loved me even though when he had me, he was very abusive. I stayed firm. He wanted to at least be friends and while I am very forgiving, I found that being friendly to him even simple politeness would be mistaken as a sign that there was some hope for us. I dont like being mean to anyone but I had to limit our conversations to only those involving our children. It sounds as if you are better off without him. It would appear that he is engaged only as a minipulative ploy to make you jealous and hopefully win you back. Yes...feel sorry for his fiance and be grateful that you are not her.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
29 Jun 07
I am really greatful for that. He was just like your exhusband very abusive and it is a miracle that i got out when I did.
@tombiz (2039)
• Philippines
28 Jun 07
That man sucks! It's good thing you were able to get away from him. He must have this great feeling to be the only handsome guy around for you. Common, he is just a garbage. Yes, I pity the girl whom he will marry. I just hope that he will change his character as time goes on. We don't need this type of man.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
29 Jun 07
I agree. I feel sorry for her, but at the same time she knows what kind of man he is and what she is getting into-
@andrejuly84 (1047)
• Romania
28 Jun 07
just ignore it from your min erase all that reminds you of him.and ignore him as much as you can maybe he will get boring to look for you.change your phone number.i can't understand him,what he wants?to hurt you/why is he calling you to tell you he's getting married?to hurt you or he hopes you will want to stop the wedding? i wish you good luck and much love from the one who real loves you!
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
29 Jun 07
Well I have changed my number several times, but somehow he manages to find them out again even though they are protected!
@maiax2k6 (535)
• Philippines
28 Jun 07
you sound like you're really upset about this getting into your nerves. for someone who has learned to let go, you should be at peace with yourself and spread that peace to him saying that you have come up with the right decisions and that everything is okay with you, and with him, and with everyone concerned. i would want to hear you not being emotional and rather be more factual and objective about the whole thing as if it's just a past, a learning experience, another chapter that needs to be closed for once and for all. afterall, he called you, and if you're within your peace, then you're victorious. but then if his calling you affects you this much, then there might be something hanging in there, a hung-up, whatever that needs to be said and done. just my 2 cents worth... wishing you well! :)
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
29 Jun 07
He still upsets me - I agree but that is because noone has hurt me the way he did. I was abused for several years by him and it took me a long time to find the guts to leave him. I am today stronger - but the abuse that he put me through is still a fresh memory and he for this reason still has the power to make me angry. I am over the love for him, but I am not over what he had me go through =)
@nuttmeg (441)
• United States
28 Jun 07
Wow, this guy sounds like one big walking inferiority complex and childish to boot. Sounds to me like the only reason he called was to have an obvious go at you, all so he can try and give a little boost to his apparently deflated man-ego, while doing the classic switcheroo attempt of putting his doubts, etc. onto you. Obviously it's not working, so good for you! LOL
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
29 Jun 07
hehe, no it´s not. I have moved on a long time ago and for the first time I am really happy - I think thats wahts bothering him.
@liranlgo (5743)
• Israel
28 Jun 07
Yes i had. and it was terrible. I do hope that this girl knows what her partner is like. I do not think that he really loves her if he offers to drop the whole thing, if you will go back to him. He is not balanced and i pity the girl that is with him.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
29 Jun 07
She does know and that is scary. i do not understand why she would ever settle for this. I have not told her - he has said to her face that he will never love her like he loves me and still she wants to go ahead with the marriage. That has me thinking that he has manipulated her like he did me and that he might also abuse her like he did with me.
@tinamwhite (3255)
• United States
28 Jun 07
Yes, I seem to atttract those types of men who are so insecure that they had to have me pushing and prodding them every step of the way...then if it did not go the way they wanted...then I got the crap beat out of me....I would never live like that again... I finally found a totally different type of man than I have ever been around...and we have been together for 20 years and will celebrate our anniversary on Halloween.... I quite taking his calls....would not let him come to my home....would call the police if he did not leave...eventually he go the message... I am sorry that you are having to go through his nonsense with this man....I do understand how you feel though... Good luck, my friend in getting this point across to him... P.S. I know that you feel sorry for his fiancee, and I am sure it is because you know him so well...but if you talk to her...he will just balme you for that too; and will be around that much more....
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
28 Jun 07
There is no need for me to talk with her about this. She knows all about it already. She has called me a million times for advice as well, until I told her that I am not in this relation anymore, them 2 are and I do not wanna be used as an expert advicer for my ex and his new girlfriend *lol* I am sure that he eventually will leave me alone but he has his tricks of making me feel bad as well. He loves to use his kids as a weapon (not mine)
@armywifey (883)
• United States
27 Jun 07
My ex-husband is still not letting go. We have been divorced for 6 years and he still tells me that he wants to get back together, even though I am happily married to someone else. It has been so bad that he won't even date anyone, and hasn't since we finalized the divorce. I know that if he would just move and and find someone that he could be happy. He is a really nice guy, we just didnlt get along being married.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
27 Jun 07
That is kind of said. He probably still loves you. The fact that he has stopped dating even is scary =( I hope it works out for him
• United States
27 Jun 07
Oh yes, I had one like that, and then he married and then kept coming back to me, I evenually did go back to him, but I hated myself for doing it and was always angry, the last straw was when I found him online with pictures of another girl, he was not only cheating on me, but he was cheating on the girl he was with and his wife, that was all I could stand. I emailed his wife and told her everything. He was so angry he stopped talking to me and his wife divorced him. It was the best thing I could ever do to get him to stop contacting me. It was the first time and hopefully the last time I would do such a thing, I felt horrible for years, but now I realize what a blessing it was.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
27 Jun 07
Wow, that is a real story. i am glad that u realised that he was no good and that u also got rid of him. There are scumbags all around. the thing with his gf now is that she knows, he ahs even told her to her face that he will never love her like he loves me and yet she stayes with him.. maybe the two of them deserves eachother =)
@paulsy (1265)
• Philippines
27 Jun 07
I think your ex is such a haughty man. How could someone call his ex to announce that he's getting married that his ex doesn't have the chance to go back? He must think he's really special! I had the same experience with my ex. We were together for 12 years and he actually believed that he was the only man I could ever have. I kept telling him that it was over and I was moving on and he kept bugging me, kept calling and showing up in places where I would be. He always tried to find away to have something that he needed from me and would ask me to come and see him. It wasn't until my fiance came into my life when he finally realized that it's over. It probably was like a knock on his head. He has now stopped bugging me and probably (I hope) has moved on with his life.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
27 Jun 07
Tht thing is that I have a new man in my life. we have been together for about a year and a half and we are living together as well. My ex knows this and he knows that I am happy. I just think that it buggs him that I have moved on without him!
@yuanchang (475)
• Philippines
27 Jun 07
wow the nerve! he actually has the confidence to call you up about something so impossible to happen. i have never been in a relationship all my life so i guess i have lots to go through. i wish i will never come across a guy like your ex. it is too much.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
27 Jun 07
hehehe, I do wish that noone has to meet a guy like him =)
@soccermom (3200)
• United States
27 Jun 07
Sounds to me like this guy has some serious issues. I wonder what his fiancee would think if she knew he had called and said these things to you? Obviously their marriage isn't going to start on a good foundation, and I have a feeling they won't be married long.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
27 Jun 07
I agree. he has even told her to her face that he will never love her like he loves me, and she told me that. I do not know why she would settle for less than true love
1 person likes this
• India
28 Jun 07
Well really he actuslly has guts to call you up and say about his marriage.....Sometimes somebody hurts us so much that you don't feel like going back to him and prefer to remain single....I can understand your situation.... I don't have any such experience but i had my freind going through the same problem and now she is happy staying single....she did gave him a second chance but everything was same .....
1 person likes this