Why is this acceptable?

United States
June 28, 2007 2:56pm CST
Wht can a guy go out whenever he feels like it while the girl, who is also the mother of his child, stay home all the time. The bills are paid by me for the most part and he thinks he shouldn't have to sacrifice his friends. One night a week is enough. Three and four is rediculous. "But there's nothing going on tonight" is the usual answer. Or I'm being to motherly. I'm getting pissed. Is this acceptable on his part or what?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@dusty6 (36)
• Canada
29 Jun 07
If i went back 5 years ago i would say yes it was,but no way would i say yes today. Some guys get to the point of thinking i got her where i want her.She belongs to me and will never leave. Well hello you didn`t buy me at the supermarket sweetie and i do have a life besides you. They think they can run off whenever they want and their little sweetie will be home waiting for them.Come on guys wake up! You are not God`s gift to women you know! We like our guy to be with us.In the beginning you were always there so what changed? Maby they should learn to sacrifice now and then and they would find that their best friend is at home waiting for them. There are guy`s that think you can`t be friends with a woman,it`s just their ego.Most of them do not take the time to really get to know their better half and everything goes downhill from there.
• United States
30 Jun 07
Yup, exactly. I was always there, and always the person to listen to him whine and help when something was wrong. Now he's never here (including right now tonight, a little while last night, and a couple nights before that). It's all a load of crap.
@lvhughes (545)
• United States
28 Jun 07
personally id say he needs to grow up and start taking responcibility. dont let him get use to it or it want stop. if he isnt ready to grow up maybe it is time for you to move on to a better person. relationships are 50-50 partership and it takes alot of give and take but if he isnt ready to give he shouldnt take. life is short dont let him take what you have away move on.
• United States
28 Jun 07
I'm trying and trying. I try to compromise a little, but it doesn't matter. He agrees to it for a week and then goes back to the other way. I mention it, he starts yelling, and goes out. He needs to learn soon or at the end of the year when the lease is over, this is over.
• United States
28 Jun 07
It's not acceptable, it's pretty immature on his part actually. If you're making all the money and paying all the bills already...I'd say you can make it without an extra burden (him) lying around. I would tell him that he's acting as if he's single, and he needs to be more responsible of you and his child. Tell him to grow up and be man. You certainly can't be both the man and the woman. I would give him an ultimatum, if he wants to go to out he can go - but don't come back. Maybe that's too harsh, but I give respect to my boyfriend and would like it given back. If I'm the only one sacrificing, then what would I need him for? Good luck!
• United States
28 Jun 07
Well, I've said stuff like that but he thinks the next morning everything is okay again. I understand that it may take time for him to grow up but some things need to change. He names on the lease with me and he never takes me seriously.
• United States
3 Jul 07
Ok, now was in the exact same situation. I had a lease with both of our names on it and a three year old to support. My guy was going out almost every night and not getting home untill 3 or 4 in the morning, then he would sleep all day while I was at work, and he would only work about three hours a day. I paid all of the bills and all of his money went to bar tabs and cab rides. Well, one day I decided I was aick of it and kicked him out. I told him if he wants to be with his buddies all the time, then thats fine, I'm not mad, I am just not going to be a part of it. If he wanted to see his son he could anytime he wanted to, at my moms house, (she was the child care provider). Well, it went on like this for about three weeks and he came crawling back and said he missed me and his son and he would be different. He was. And he only goes out every once in a while now, maybe twice a month. He realized what he was losing by acting this way and he didn't want to give it up. I am not saying this is what you need to do, but it worked for me and I wanted to let you know you are not alone.
• United States
3 Jul 07
Oh i know exactly how you feel, but it's not that he wants to go out all the time, it's he wants to take a nap, he wants to play his video games. and who gets to watch bo while he's doing that, even though i was watching him ALL DAY?? Me. it get's irritating especially when they think theyre being helpful but it doesn't feel that way at all. and tell ray to start paying for some of the bills or get a job or something. he should start helping out with that especially seeing that he's living there and using everything too. oh. email me and i'll give you my number, we need to get away and hang out together sometime.