I broke up with my boyfriend because I wanted space
June 29, 2007 10:27pm CST
My boyfriend and I had been going out for about a year. We just broke up because I want my space. I'm only 18, and I want to have my fun before I step into the real world. How can I make him understand that I want my space, and make him stop hating on all of my friends because I'm not with him?
2 people like this
• United States
16 Jul 07
In my view, 18 (or even 21, since that is the age you give in your profile) is too young for a permanent relationship, at least I certainly wasn't mature enough to make lifelong choices at that age, and neither was anyone else I've ever met. That is not to say young friendships cannot blossom into genuine romance, but what is the hurry? True love can wait, whereas infatuations have that "hurry, hurry, hurry up" quality that locks people into relationships which even if they remain intact, leave one or the other person wondering, "could I have done better?" Based on what you have said about this young man before, you can do better. It seems wise that you have broken up with him. Now that you are no longer a couple, however, you must guard against continuing to be co-dependent with him. It is not his place to interfere in your relationship with your other friends, nor is it your place to tell him who to like or dislike. If you have broken up with him and have your space, then he needs to stay out of it, and you need to stay out of his space, too, because it would be cruel, even dangerous, to send him mixed signals. If you have already made it clear that he is to leave you and your friends alone, and he continues to play these little games devised to make you feel guilty and sorry for him, you can surely see that he is not acting out of love or even respect for you. What is it with us women that we forget how to be a fellow's girlfriend, and act like we should be his mother?
30 Jun 07
I can understand your situation very well bkoz few days back i was in a similar one. Like you i also think im too young to get seriously involve in these kind of relationship. I was really tired of these thiungs and wanted some rest. If you have already ditched why are you still caring about him? If you still want him not to hate your friends tell him frankly that its not because of them that your relationship is over but its because you feel that you are not yet prepared to commit yourself
15 Jul 07
why not compromise.. one advantage of youth is you don't have to be that serious all the time.. Why not make an agreement to see other peole while you're seeing each other and schedule a day or two or three in the week when you could have a break from each other. Geez you're not married right...
11 Jul 07
its a little different from in china.but now chinese younsters changed a lot .in the old days young people will be more careful for their love stories.most of the your people dont talk love by themselves. they need a people to let them know each other.then ,they get married, and soon have a baby. but now young people can find lover by themselves, even so they can decide to break up with their lover.hehe
30 Jun 07
you're still young. how old is your boyfriend? actually, i am in somewhat the same situation. my boyfriend is the jealous type and would not allow me to go out, even with my girlfriends. so when i felt really secluded and lonely, i told him what i felt and he gave way, as long as i don't lose his trust. now, even when he seems that he does not want me to go out, he just keeps his mouth shut and i know that he understands me. if your boyfriend blames your friends, he's not worth it. or take him with you to where you're going so that they'd meet.
30 Jun 07
I think that's just an excuse. If you really need some space, then maybe he's not the right guy for you... I'm 28, it's different, I know, but when I met my boyfriend I kept telling my friends I won't get caught again, you'll see, I'll just adopt two kids when I'm 35, and live happily ever after, etc. Just because I was tired of bad experiences and really didn't want anyone in my life. Then I met him... and now we're madly in love. I love him like I never loved anyone before. Life just happens. Don't plan too much. =)
30 Jun 07
Hello ifinallyfoundmybaby, I think you are just too young to seriously involved in 'true love' If your boyfriend can't accommodate your wish (which is a very simple wish)you better make it clear to him that you don't think he suits to be your true love. Please don't let any guys stop you from enjoying your life and trying to control your life. You are still young and there are a lot of opportunities for you out there. Don't let people stop you from reaching the sky, my dear little girl *wink* Hopefully, you will find the right person that you can call your love *smile*
• United States
30 Jun 07
Yeah I understand. You need time to spend with your friends hanging out and doing girl stuff before you become an adult and go away to college (if you haven't already) because it is a big step. If he really does love you then I think he should respect your decision and not get so mad and be as immature to go and bother your friends about it instead of talking about this with you. Rated +.