I'm open to suggestions on how to finally and for eternity stop a stalker!

@MJLami (1173)
United States
July 2, 2007 2:34pm CST
I used to be a homeowner and landlord living in a city where the houses are close together. When the next door tenant moved on there was a sigh of relief by neighbors on both sides, she had caused numerous problems over the years. She was then replaced by a gay couple. I thought great, they'll be better neighbors than she. The female of the couple was also retarded, dishonest and just didn't seem "right" if you know what I mean. You could see it in her face. I used to work with mentally retarded adults and was then working at a Psych hospital so I tried to be incredibly patient though I was also being diplomatic and very tactful, with both members of this couple. I really did not like her at all, she was creepy. Her partner got that easily but kept trying to reassure me she's harmless. Well she's not. And apparently even while she was living off her man next door she decided she was going to hide them being a gay couple by stalking me. She did for 4.5 years. She even tried to con my own parents into believing I was involved with her and she obviously didn't get away with it. She attempted to sexually assault me soon after, literally right after being confronted because of her lies to them. Instead of accepting reality and that what she had kept hearing in the months before that incident was real she was spreading lies behind my back and claiming I was dating her and she was my best friend. She really believed because she said so and I don't mean to be vulgar here but because she was born with the male organ only her words and what she wanted mattered in this. I lived carrying pepper for another 4 years, I filed numerous police reports, had numerous problems with my own tenants because of her and many, many people tried to intervene and stop her from stalking me. She told everyone I had no choice, no rights and was wrong to refuse her. She believed because she said so it was going to be. I tried to sell my house. It was listed for 6 months with no offers. Then I met someone I had a short term relationship with. He was an ex-cop. Yeah, I thought he'd be the one to stop her. Instead she stopped him and then took credit for getting rid of someone I once believed my soulmate 4 years earlier. She actually went outside one night after ending the relationship I did have with the ex-cop and yelled at my house "I got rid of Greg so I could have you, not another man. What's wrong with you for not accepting it?" ( Greg is another story but short version is he told her she could have me. His magic words became a death sentence for me.)Ok, so now you have the ground work on the very severely disturbed creep that I lived next door to for 4.5 years too long and what led me to finally and I thank God sell my house and relocate out of state. I left that state more than 3 years ago. I had to. I wanted to live the rest of my life without the fear I lived then and without looking over my shoulder the rest of my life. Well, my intuition has been telling me something's just not right. A few nights ago I overheard enough of a conversation with neighbors I don't interact with across the street to know the stalker is now here still after me and still trying to figure out to force me accept I have no choice. I'm definitely open to suggestions here. Oh, I've already checked with the state police and because I do have 3 years of police reports in a state with lousy stalker laws that did nothing to protect me I do now have access to the federal stalker law and it will be enforced. Psycho stalker goes to prison for up to 5 years as soon as I have a reason to call in the cops and I look so forward to doing so. I also keep a loaded gun handy now. I lived too long abused, victimized by this creep already. I won't be living that again. My intuition had already forced me back inside. Now with the neighbors I don't trust and have no communication with who have already caused problems with me I expect they are now stalker's enablers here. I know the next door neighbors will come to my aid if needed. I don't know anyone else where I live and I have chosen to be a hermit and recluse because of what I had been forced to live there with the very creepy, sick neighbor then. I was a pretty quiet person before living stalked. Now I choose to be a hermit where I live because that did happen where I used to live. I really want your suggestions on this, please!
2 people like this
4 responses
@pallidyne (858)
• United States
2 Jul 07
Well, one reason you can give the cops for jailing her, requires a lawyer and a little work. It's time to file for a restraining order. If you get a she can't come within 120 feet of you order, all she has to do is show up and the cops get to enforce the order. This will also help against any future charges of stalking etc, if it comes down to it. I'd start looking for an attorney asap and get them to hear your case. Some out there should have at least a reasonable rate. (Someone might even take it pro bono)
1 person likes this
@MJLami (1173)
• United States
2 Jul 07
Actually in the state I now live the state police will immediately impose the restraining order as soon as I have a reason to call them. To date she-boy has not forced an interaction with me. I know the person is here but I have not to date yet become again its unwilling victim. I have discussed this at length with the police. I need to wait until there is reason to make the call. They will respond and she-boy gets arrested. I also immediately then get a restraining order. I just then after go to the courthouse to have it continued to be enforced. They will not put one in place until there's a need. I've checked with the court too.
@seabeauty (1481)
• United States
2 Jul 07
I agree with you on this pallidyne. I'm surprised she didn't do this 4 years ago.
1 person likes this
@MJLami (1173)
• United States
2 Jul 07
Your other discussion has also been discussed with the cops and court. At this time they suggest doing nothing and just waiting until it's time. I do have two German Shepherds now, one does not know this person. He's very territorial so I have no problem letting him loose if anything happens.
• United States
2 Jul 07
Move way out into the rural countryside and buy at least 20 acres. Put your house or even a house trailer right in the middle of your land. Neighbors can no longer live close enough to bother you. I did this. It works.
1 person likes this
@MJLami (1173)
• United States
2 Jul 07
That sounds like a maybe but what do you do for work? It's a struggle enough here, I've already been considering a relocation because of work. I know I can never go home again so whereever I go, I go.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Jul 07
When I moved here I was an independent trucker which allowed me to live anywhere I want. When I quit that I did just whatever I could find. Never anything special, but that did not matter as I got totally out of debt before I quit trucking. It is really surprising how little it takes to get by without a debt load. I recommend this to everyone. However, almost no one wants to go throught the bother and hassle of getting totally out of debt. It means learning to be really cheap. Or if you are college educated, you say,"Excessively frugral.".
1 person likes this
@MJLami (1173)
• United States
2 Jul 07
I actually like the idea of being totally out of debt. Living frugal is all I've ever done. It's the trucking thing I don't see happening. I can't imagine being in a big rig with two german shepherds. LOL! And the other thing is I don't want to not have people around in case I need help. I just want the stalker to finally and forever accept reality and be done with its delusion and beliefs concerning me. Nothing was and nothing ever will be involving me with that sick person. I could not have been more clear for the 4.5 years I lived as its victim and I know the creep was upset when I moved. The day I sold the house it damaged the outside basement door. My friends had to come repair it. I left that day, walking out with my friends and have not ever gone back. I just want it in the past, wishing I had not been forced to live like that ever - even while it was happening to me.
@twilight021 (2060)
• United States
2 Jul 07
Your story is truly upsetting and I am so sorry to hear how things have turned out for you...especially after totally uprooting yourself and thinking you were free and clear of this woman. I think pallidyne had great advice....a restraining order, and possibly a lawyer who will help you pro bono. I am also glad you are protecting yourself. This person sounds really off kilter, and most likely dangerous. I'm glad there are federal laws that can help you too. I can only imagine how violated and trapped you feel by this person. I think that if you have some neighbors you can trust, you should let them know the situation. Then you will know that you have some "friends" should you ever be in need. Perhaps they can also help you will keeping an eye out for a reason to call the cops. Good luck and stay safe.
1 person likes this
@MJLami (1173)
• United States
2 Jul 07
Thanks for your suggestions. I have already informed my neighbors, they've known since I moved here. They've watched my healing from those early days until now. I've come a long way to get my health and life back together. The woman is actually the female of a male couple. She's a very thin, small male. My brothers could each squish her like a fly on paper if you know what I mean. She doesn't have the physical presence to intimidate, she does like to bully, threaten and verbally abuse. It seems I've hit on all the suggestions so far, I've done everything so far suggested...I did a lot in my former state to stop it prior to uprooting. I took steps to hide and to protect myself as soon as I got here. I had a pro bono investigator involved who researched and informed me the federal stalker law will be upheld, there is no statute of limitations because of the extremes I went through to end what I was living. My new state is not one I had a reason to come to nor a reason for the stalker to come to except to follow me. It seems I'm hearing what I already know. I either need to uproot again or just wait until I can finally enforce the federal stalker law. I don't like either option. I left three years ago to put this in the past, not ever having or wanting a relationship with the neighbor that only did become a full-blown stalker to me.
@worldwise1 (14890)
• United States
3 Jul 07
It seems that you have done all the right things in a situation such as yours. If necessary, I would compound my protection by adding the services of a private detective. They are in a position to acquire much more information than you(and sometimes even the police). You need to remove this creep from your life and the sooner the better.