His mom is killing our marriage... What to do?

Brazil
July 5, 2007 5:36pm CST
My husband and I are so in love, but his mother does not accept it. We want so much to be together as long as God will help. But when it comes to his mother, things starts to get wrong badly. His mom's thinks I'm a control freak, and family never said any word against us. I help him so much and his mom continue disliking on me. I'm getting tired of this situation, and sometimes I even think on leaving him... Is there anything to do to fix this mess before we break up?
1 person likes this
4 responses
• United States
5 Jul 07
Hi. I will be happy to give you some constructive advice. Accept the fact that you will never be good enough for your mother in law. No woman is good enough for her son. Was your son a mama's boy to your mother in law? Do not leave your husband unless he spends more time with his mother and/or family and friends than you. If he spends more time with mommy than you, then there's a problem there. If you live in close vicinity to your mother in law, you need to move as far away from her as possible. Living close to her will only create more problems. Important! Change your phone number and give your new online phone number to "monster in law". Tell her that you are changing phone numbers because (makeup a reason). Your hubby will go with the game, if he really loves you. You can get a free online phone number @ PrivatePhone---- http://www.privatephone.com This way you will never have to hear your phone ring from unwanted callers and when people call your phone number, they will think they called a regular telephone because they will hear a lot of rings and it will lead them to your answering machine/voicemail message. When you receive new messages, you will get an email notification or you can check your messages on your regular telephone/cell phone with a pin number they provide. Also, when you shop or do surveys, use your new phone number to prevent future telemarketers calling your main phone. If you can't afford to move, get a new phone number anyway, as stated above. Do not open the door when monster in law invites herself over unexpectedly and if she makes up excuses that she tried to come over, you and your hubby could tell her that she should have called FIRST. If monster in law invites your hubby over for to visit her, for whatever reason, tell your husband to tell her, that he's very busy and he has other plans. If monster in law puts guilt trips on hubby because he doesn't see her as much as she wants, then he needs to tell her that he has his own family to spend time with and take care of and that if he does have the time, he may come over with his family. If the matter is urgent and monster in law needs help, then have hubby call other friends or relatives of hers to go and take care of her. Remember your husband married YOU so you are his first priority. Tell him that. If you have an argument over monster in law and hubby says, "Well my mom said this..blah blah blah", you tell him "Well go sleep with your mom then!". LOL Hope this helps and your situation improves! Let me know if you have any questions :-)
• United States
5 Jul 07
Avoid contact and communication with monster in law as much as possible! Do not visit her until situations improve, which will be very unlikely, but who knows?!
1 person likes this
@lucky_witch (2711)
• Philippines
6 Jul 07
Hmmm. Its a big problem really when in laws gets on the way. I experience teh same thing with my ex husband. I suppose his mother doesn't like me...but the difference is she never let me know about it. When Im in front of her everything seems to be fine... She is so nice to me, but when I turn my back there are lots of things she says against me... in my sister in law, neighbors, even with the house helper. I really dont understand her. There comes a time that my husband had an affair with another woman. I talked to my mother in law and asked her not to lend money to my husband because he is going abroad with the girl... She texted me that she's at my back and will always be there for me and my kids... so I was at peace feeling really love. But then I learned that she lend the money and was the one who gave it to the agency. I was really hurt during that time and felt like being fooled. But they were also been fooled by the agency and run their money. But because of that the girl and my husband got really close to the time that they live in the same house. Now, my mother in law... told me that she was sorry that we got brokenmarriage the fact that she has a very large contributionto this... THe nerve!!! I just hope you could do something about tht just before your marriage become ruined. Talk to your husband... may be you can moveinto other places far from there....Tell your husband how you feel and what his mother is doing. Also talk to your mother in law and try to figure out why she didnt like you. Good luck
1 person likes this
@Nykkee (2523)
• Canada
5 Jul 07
I feel bad for you. I have problems with my husband's mother too. I wish she would disappear. Mayeb you guys should jsut stop talking to her is she wants to be a big "B" word.
1 person likes this
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
5 Jul 07
i used to have that kind of problem but i left my husband.... i am not advising you to leave him, i left my husband because he was a pain inthe neck same as his mom. i wish when it is time of my kids to get married i will not be a monster in law...lol. well talk to your husband about it. are you living near her? why not live far from her? that will be more irritating if you have children already for she will be more nosey.