I Didn't Get to Say "GOODBYE"

United States
July 6, 2007 8:09pm CST
On July 1st at 2 a.m., my mother, Della, died from a massive heart attack...she had not ever had any history of heart problems until this time.....she did have a history of an aneurysm from 16 years ago...she was buried today in Ottumwa, Iowa...she was 65 years old.... I am so lost...this is the hardest thing that I have ever lived through... I have been gone for almost a week now and wanted all to know that a terrible tradegy had occurred in my life...
12 people like this
29 responses
• United States
7 Jul 07
I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is hard, but to not have a chance to say goodbye must be devastating. I'll say a prayer for you.
3 people like this
• United States
7 Jul 07
I appreciate your prayers....it was so sudden...2 weeks ago we were out of town walking around at all of the little shops and she was smiling and laughing....and now she is gone..I am devastated....
2 people like this
@foxyfire33 (10021)
• United States
7 Jul 07
Oh Tina, I am so sorry! I haven't been on much this week so I missed the other discussion. There really are no words to express my sympathies. You are in my thoughts and prayers my friend.
3 people like this
• United States
7 Jul 07
Thanks, Foxyfire, my friend...I had just helped her take a bath and she was watching a movie in her room...I had seen her 35 minutes before I found her..it was awful... I am still in a daze and a trying to go through the motions of life..but I can't remember much of the last week....can't eat...can't sleep... I truly appreciate you....
2 people like this
@webeishere (36382)
• United States
7 Jul 07
My thoughts and prayers go out to you. It's hard losing someone so close. I lost my mom over 10 years ago and it's still hard on me. Bless you and your family.
3 people like this
• United States
7 Jul 07
Thank you, my friend.....give your Dad a hug for me....I don't know if I will ever get over this...I thought that this much pain would surely take me with her... I appreciate you more than you know!
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (42743)
• United States
7 Jul 07
I am so sorry to hear that. I don't know what to say to help you. But you are in my thoughts and prayers, as I'm sure you are with other people too. I hope your soul can find some rest tonight. Bless your heart.
• United States
7 Jul 07
Thank you so much, my friend....I appreciate your thoughts and prayers....
3 people like this
@babyangie27 (5179)
• United States
7 Jul 07
My dear friend I am almost in tears because I feel eveything you are going threw,I felt the same way. I posted a discussion as you asked and there were some prayers added by people you should read them. If there is anything else i can do for you please let me know. I do wish I could be there right now and give you a shoulder to cry on. I know this is so hard to go threw. I love you my friend and I will continue to pray for you.
• United States
7 Jul 07
I truly appreciate the discussion that you began at my request...all of my children are still here...I am so glad to have all of them here now... Time seems to have no meaning right now...and nothing feels like it is supposed to...I keep waiting for her to come out of her room...I am utterly lost.... I appreciate you so much, my friend, and you know how I feel about you, as well....
2 people like this
• United States
7 Jul 07
I understand that completely I find myself still waiting for my mom and dad to call me to see how we are and the have been gone for 4 years and 2 years. I do hope things get better,stay strong in the fact you will see her again someday.
2 people like this
@brendalee (6086)
• United States
7 Jul 07
I am so sorry for your loss. And there is nothing I can say to really help you. But I have been reading all your responses and I want to say that I know you can overcome this. It will be hard and it will hurt. But I feel your mother would not want you to be feeling this way. Your mother will always be in your heart.
2 people like this
• United States
7 Jul 07
Brendalee, While you are probably right...Mom wold not want me to feel this way...I wish she was here to tell me that!! I do feel lucky that she got to spend the last 7 years with me and my children all close...very few parents get an actual glimpse into their adult children's lives...and she was so happy here...
@golfproo (1842)
• Canada
7 Jul 07
I am extremely sorry to hear that. My prayers are with you as you go through this difficult time my friend. I have been through a similar loss over the last year and all I can say is focus on yourself for a while.
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12176)
• Sweden
7 Jul 07
yup. that's how we should do it. focus on our lives and others, too. but never forget the good people who had left. they will always be a part of us.
1 person likes this
@Bizziebod (3527)
7 Jul 07
No amount of words will console you at this moment in time, the world has stood still for you this past week and will continue to do so while you mourn. My thoughts are with you in your time of need and i'll light a candle for your mother. They say time heals and they're not wrong, but it is a lot of time. Take some comfort from the fact that there are friends out there for you if you need to reach out and touch them. Please look after yourself during this time of mourning. Your mother knew how much you cared, try not to feel guilty for not saying goodbye.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Jul 07
Bizzie, I feel so bad for every time that I got the least bit irritated with her...we were very close... I appreciate you lighting a candle for her...I know that she knew how I felt...she was so loved and an intimate part of everyday life here...NOTHING feels right... Thanks...
@gabs8513 (48816)
• United Kingdom
12 Jul 07
Awwwwwwwwww Sweetie I am so sorry and I was not here when you came back to write this I don't know what to say there is nothing I can say to make you feel better but you are in my thoughts and you are being sent a lot of Hugs from this end Hugs to you
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
12 Jul 07
65 is just no age to go away at. I am so sorry for your loss and you will be in my thought. reading things like this makes me feel that my problems are so trivial and that I complain to much about it.
1 person likes this
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
9 Jul 07
Oh my friend my heart goes out to you and your family! It feels so impersonal typing this to you I wish I could be there in person just to give you a hug! Words can't describe what you are going through! My prayers are with you and your family in this difficult time my friend! Love and ((hugz)) thinking of you! xx
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Jul 07
To lose somebody you love is a great heartache much more if it is our mother..... My mom is just 52 yrs. old and I can say that she is healthy but in my subconscious mind the fear of loosing my parents is the scenario that I think I cannot bear.Although we have to be prepare for this day because it will come. Our mind may accept it but not our hearts.... Its hard to say "goodbye".....
1 person likes this
@UDDERONES (888)
• United States
8 Jul 07
tinamwhite, I am so sorry for your loss. While I don't personally know you either, I am thinking of you and your pain. Just reading this discussion and all the replies has me in tears. Remember all the good times and hold your mememories close. Hopefully your memories and your family will get you through this time. I say through it as you never get over it. I believe you just get through it. Hugs and prayers.
1 person likes this
@aprilgrl (4460)
• United States
8 Jul 07
I am so sorry about your mother's passing. I am sure she knows you saying good-bye if she heard it or not. I know that you are sad and remember her by the good times in she is in your heart. Thanks for sharing your loss. Take care of yourself.
1 person likes this
@jasgirl (79)
• Canada
7 Jul 07
Dear tinamwhite Aug 16 1994 I lost my father to a massive heart attack while he was playing baseball.I was 14 and turned down the invitation to go to his game that day becuz I was too busy with my friends. I never got to say goodbye either (plus a week b4 my Dad passed his mother, my Granny passed of cancer) what a summer! All I can say is I believe they can hear us all the time~I wrote my Dad a letter and place it under the flowers on his grave site, it felt alittle better just to get all of my emotions out even if it was on paper.Maybe you can try that when you are feeling up to it or even just speaking to her aloud (have faith that she can hear you) I know no words or anything can really take the pain you feel right now away, but all I can say is I carry the pain of my Dad passing everyday but each day it gets easier to carry. I pray that you will find strengh,understanding and Gods love thru this difficult time.I wish you all the best~Please write me anytime if you'd like.
@hoghoney (3750)
• United States
7 Jul 07
I am so sorry to hear about your mom, It is harder when you know you didnt get to say good-bye to them, I was the same way 10 years ago when my mom passed away I have just spent the weekend with her and was going to visit her on the next weekend and that is when my brother called and told me that she had passed and I didnt even get to say bye, love you or nothing. And she passed away from a massive heart attack also. My heart is with you. Big Big Hugs!
1 person likes this
@makingpots (11928)
• United States
7 Jul 07
Oh, my dear Tina, I am so sorry for your loss and all the pain that you are feeling. Thank you for sharing that beautiful picture of her with your granddaughter. You are honoring your mom by coming on here and sharing with us all how much she meant to you. Continue to do these things in her honor, and cry all that you need to. You have friends here that will lift you up and carry you through this. God bless you my friend. I am hurting with you over this. It will get better. You have a lot of living to do in honor of her.
1 person likes this
• India
7 Jul 07
Oh. very sorry my friend,tina, Its so huge a loss that one cant compensate the loss of a dear one, especially a parent... My eyes are running moist when i read this.. I think she is vey fond of her grand daughter...(from the foto One can see).. My sincere prayers for her soul to rest in peace.. " God, give strength and all courage to Tinamwhite and his family memebers to withstand the shock..of loss.. Be with them always, shower them all grace, which YOU have in store. Please Sanctify the Soul of Della. Let she be given no more births. May her soul rest in peace."
@worldwise1 (14892)
• United States
7 Jul 07
First of all, please let me say how sorry I am for your loss, tina. I can equate with what you are going through since I lost my mother suddenly this past February. It is so true that you only get one mother, and the loss is almost too much to bear. Maybe once you have gone through the first stage of grieving you will be able to start remembering all the good times. If you would like to you could start a Mother Scrapbook(which I am planning to do soon). And, just know that she will always be with you. Best wishes, dear.
@wachit14 (3603)
• United States
7 Jul 07
I don't know you personally, but I am so sorry for the unexpected loss of your mother. I lost my dad thirty years ago and the loss still impacts me in some way every day, although my memories are now only fond. I think the fact that your mother survived an aneurysm is really a miracle in itself. She got to live sixteen more years to watch you grow into the woman you have become and she must have been very proud of you. Nothing will remove the feeling of grief. It is something we all must live through, but you are, at the very least, in my thoughts.