NO Nursing Home for me!

United States
July 8, 2007 11:49am CST
With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00,there is a better way when we get old & feeble. I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn for a combined long term stay discount and senior discount of $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for: 1. Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service. 2. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. 3. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. There is a city Bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The Handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp). To meet other nice people, call a Church bus on Sundays. For a change of scenery, take the Airport shuttle Bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up. 4. It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too. 5. TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience. The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. 6. And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grand kids can use the pool. What more can you ask for? So: As I reach the Golden age I'm facing it with a grin. I'll just check into the nearest Holiday Inn!
2 people like this
2 responses
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
9 Jul 07
This is all a wonderful plan, but there is only one problem with it. Usually when a person checks into a nursing home it is because they are no longer able to care for themselves and need help with ADL's, (activities of daily living) such as bathing, dressing, cooking, and getting around. If you don't want to be in a nursing home. The best alternative is an in-home care nurse, who can visit at the times that she is needed or live-in 24/7. In this way, you are still the boss and completely in control of your care. You may want to have a trusted relative or friend living close by to check up on you regularly, but other then that, this is the best way to go.
• United States
9 Jul 07
This was a joke.
1 person likes this
@disvachic (10121)
• United States
9 Jul 07
someone posted a similar joke but their post was about a cruise.Holiday inn and the cruise sounds good to me but Hopefully i will not have to go to be checked in to a nursing home
2 people like this
@irishmist (3820)
• United States
9 Jul 07
Well this is a good concept, but what do they offer in the way of really looking out for people? Many people have health problems. The amenities are sweet, but can the staff handle everyones health problems? Also do they care? I'm just thinking about all the people I work with , and all the needs they have. I have my own business, as well as work in a Retirerment Home. The residents do require a lot of care, and monitoring. This is a nice idea for folks that are still somewhat heatlhty. Well I do have a few more thought on this, as I do work with folks that have many problems and need to be monitered all the time. But I sure wish I could go some place nice like this.
• United States
9 Jul 07
I wish I could too, I'm sorry I should have put this in my discussion but this was a joke.
@irishmist (3820)
• United States
9 Jul 07
Oh I'm sorry. I guess I was really tired when I read it. It was a long weekend at work.
1 person likes this