As adults, do you still hide things from your parents??

@Amstardam (1348)
United States
July 9, 2007 12:49am CST
I still do for some things. Like the fact that I smoke. If my parents knew I would get endless articles or talks about how bad it is for me. I also would never tell my parents that I went through a phase where I got drunk all the time. I rarely drink anymore at all, but I just couldn't bring myself to tell them. I have my own family now but still feel that I can't tell them. I don't want my children to hide things from me because they feel uncomfortable or judged!
8 people like this
21 responses
@IL2Knit (1141)
• United States
9 Jul 07
I'm 50 years old and I still do that. It has gotten better though. I think at my age Mom has mostly given me up as a lost cause. LOL So now insted of bugging me she is bugging my youngest daughter. That is one of the reasons my daughter and I are so close.
2 people like this
@Amstardam (1348)
• United States
10 Jul 07
some things never change, haha! Hey at least it is making for a great bonding experience for you and your daughter. :)
1 person likes this
@teejams (88)
• Philippines
10 Jul 07
oooooohhhhh definitely YES!!! My parents are separated and i come from a very conservatice family. My dad gave up smoking and drinking several years ago even before i learned how to smoke and drink. When i stepped in college of course how i can resist the fun at parties and all. So up to now i couldn't come up to them and tell them that i drink and i know how to smoke as well. And oh, i'm 26 years old. oh well, parents. i guess we just have to learn how to make our children tell us everything and just explain to them that it is ok but they just have to do everything in moderation. :)
1 person likes this
@Amstardam (1348)
• United States
14 Jul 07
It's definitely hard for parents who have excessively drank or smoked in their past to see their kids get involved in it too. But they don't realize that some people can limit themselves.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Jul 07
oh yeah i know what you mean by that.
• Philippines
4 Aug 07
wow that's a pretty long comment huh. i really appreciate it.:) although i wish i can understand it.:) so if you can still give me the english translation it would be very helpful.:)
• Indonesia
13 Jul 07
yes some adults material of course i'm hiding from parents..
1 person likes this
@Amstardam (1348)
• United States
14 Jul 07
that's probably a good thing, haha! :)
1 person likes this
@kamran12 (5555)
• Pakistan
11 Jul 07
Hello Amstardam! Generally, I don't hide things from my parents and I am always truthful to them and everybody. The things that I think may put them in pain, I tell them lightly causing minimum effect what so ever. The only things that I have hidden or I hide or try not to tell them are when I am ill or injured or have some health concern. That's where I think that they can't digest it and would themselves fall ill or sick just by knowing this fact. My mother like every other mother has some special sense that tells her if something is wrong with me. She calls me to ask if every thing is okay. She sometimes even describe whatever happened as accurately as it actually happened. There I feel myself in a difficult situation and as I try my best not to lie, I just give her a reply in a diplomatic way and I tell her that I am fine, as if I wasn't fine how I could be talking to her!:-)
1 person likes this
@Amstardam (1348)
• United States
14 Jul 07
It sounds like you have a great relationship with your mom. That's wonderful. I think every parent hopes that they can have that relationship with their kids but it's really hard to have that.
1 person likes this
@Sushicook (691)
• Sweden
11 Jul 07
I might be a bit young to answer this, but yes, I still hide things from my parents even though I haven't lived with them for two years. I've been smoking on and off for two years, and I won't tell them that for years to come. I also keep certain things about my life style hidden from them, since I doubt that they would approve all that much. I guess it's only natural for children to hide things from their parents, no matter how old they are.
1 person likes this
@Amstardam (1348)
• United States
14 Jul 07
Parents, or family, can be our worst critics. So yeah, it's natural for us to want to hide things from them.
1 person likes this
@Razzles (391)
• United States
10 Jul 07
Yes, I am one of those people as well. I am 51 years old, and am married and have two daughters, 21 and 17. My parents are very old fashioned and I was well protected when I was growing up. There are things that have gone on in my immediate family that it would be best not to tell my parents. I know how my parents would react and it is not worth seeing them all worked up to tell them.
1 person likes this
@Amstardam (1348)
• United States
14 Jul 07
I think my hiding things from my parents stems from being over protected as well. My parents are overly religious sometimes.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
10 Jul 07
I don't tell my mom that I occasionally drink,..or I don't tell my mom that my husband can be a jerk sometime.,
@_hope_ (3906)
• Australia
10 Jul 07
As a child we would hide things al the time .Now as an adult i hide a lot more .I just do not want to know how unhappy i really am .When i see them i`m bright happy and bubbly but on the inside it`s a very diferent story .They will never know the real me
1 person likes this
@Amstardam (1348)
• United States
14 Jul 07
I'm sorry that you're unhappy and you can't express that to your parents! I would never be able to tell my parents about that either. They would only make it worse!
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Jul 07
To a certain extent, yes. In my case, I'm very into body modifications (tattoos and piercing), and my parents don't really approve of them. So I don't make a point of hiding them from my parents, but I also try to not show them off when my parents are around. Even though I haven't lived at home in more than 10 years, and they have not really had much of an influence on what I have done with my life for quite some time, I do it mostly out of respect for their opinions. I'm still going to do what I want to do with my life, I just won't rub their faces in it.
1 person likes this
@Amstardam (1348)
• United States
14 Jul 07
What is it with parents and body modifications? My parents freaked when they found out I had tattoo's! Now I'm stretching my ears...I'll see them in a few weeks so that'll be interesting to see what they think of that!
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Jul 07
I've learned the hard way not to tell things to my parents and I guess in some ways that means hiding things from them. I do it to stay sane. My mother is not a bad person who is mean but she is narcissistic and can subconciously sabotage anything that might be important to me. so i try to keep conversation light or as she likes it, focused on her. I would like very much to be able to talk with her in a normal relationship but whenever I think that might happen, she somehow does 180 degrees and turns everything back to herself. So, now I accept that and just love her as she is and not set myself up for hurt and disappointment.
@Amstardam (1348)
• United States
14 Jul 07
Wow. Not many people would accept that about their parents. It's great that you can see that and try to love and accept your mom!
1 person likes this
@senthil2k (1501)
• India
9 Jul 07
Its my character from my childhood that I dont tell my problems to my Parents or any body else. I will always try to solve all my problems by myself. With that, I think its better to hide something from our parents that can trouble them, instead of telling them and making them to worry about them. I do hide things from my parents that I feel they will be definitely worried when they know that.
1 person likes this
@Amstardam (1348)
• United States
14 Jul 07
I agree! Parents just tend to worry too much, understandable though.
1 person likes this
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
9 Jul 07
i still hide some things from my parents also. mostly my mom. she is really touchy about stuff. i think she gets a little envious that we have more stuff then they did when we were kids. so if we make any purchases we hide them from her. i also can't tell her when i talk to my dads half sister. my mom got jealous of their relationship because they were very playful, but thats just the nature of that family. and i think she was jealous that she has no relationship with her brothers and sisters. so now we have to hide it when we talk to our aunt. i'm the same way, i hope that my kids can always tell me anything without fear of being judged or lectured.
@Amstardam (1348)
• United States
14 Jul 07
sounds like my husbands family! My mother-in-law and her sister do not get along, at all! So if my husband and I go visit his aunt, we can't talk to him mom about it. She'll cry and get all mad and be angry for weeks about it.
1 person likes this
@eva_diva (287)
• Philippines
9 Jul 07
I still hide a few things from my mom, especially my smoking habits and the wild dates i go with my boyfriend and my friends. Its not that I dont trust her. I just believe that she will feel so much better and will not worry too much. I will understand if my children will hide a few things from me,they will grow up to become teens but what i would like to do is assure them that whatever they do in life, they must make sure they will not hurt themselves or anyone else...
@Amstardam (1348)
• United States
14 Jul 07
Smoking seems to be the common one that everyone hides!
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
9 Jul 07
I can understand because my husband was like that at one stage until his father found out and he was forever giving him lectures. I told him that he is old enough to do what he likes and why hide the fact that he smokes. He never smokes in front of his parents though. I wouldn't be surprised if your parents already know but just haven't said anything. I suppose some things are best left unsaid.
1 person likes this
@Amstardam (1348)
• United States
10 Jul 07
Nah, my parents live in on the other side of the country and I see them maybe twice a year. There is no way they know...plus I never had any addicting habits before that. They would never guess. Did your husband tell his parents that was old enough to make his own decisions? I sure hope he did, although if they are anything like my parents they would ignore that comment altogether.
1 person likes this
@anjoks (2084)
• Philippines
9 Jul 07
Haha! Were on the same boat. I was like hiding from my parents my smoking habit for like 12 years, imagine that. Come to think of it, i'm 33 now and still afraid of them to find out. But my mom found out abt it sometime last year and i love her so dearly cause she kept mum abt it from my dad. . haha! (",)
1 person likes this
@Amstardam (1348)
• United States
10 Jul 07
wow 12 years huh? That's a long time to keep it hidden. I've only been a smoker for about a year now and there is no way that my mom would keep it a secret from anyone. She would tell the world and probably have her entire church...and their friends churches pray for me.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Jul 07
yes i hide things from my parents like the problem we encounter as husband and wife. Now that im married i dont even think of telling my problems to my parents. I just solve it all by myself. I know they have so many things in their mind, so id rather not tell them so i will not become their problem.
1 person likes this
@Amstardam (1348)
• United States
10 Jul 07
understandable...parents have their own relationships and their own problems too. It's part of being an adult.
1 person likes this
@eden32 (3976)
• United States
9 Jul 07
My mother & my partner don't get along all that great. So I find that I just don't tell her about any petty argument we may have, as she'll remember it long after I have forgotten it & it just adds to her dislike of him. She really liked my ex, and it seems she's still upset that I'm not with him anymore.
1 person likes this
@Amstardam (1348)
• United States
10 Jul 07
ooh, relationships are always hard to talk about to the parents. I don't think I'd ever tell my parents if I was having issues with my relationship. I hate it when parents think they know what is best for their child in a relationship...it doesn't change no matter how old you get.
1 person likes this
@maheksaj (117)
30 Aug 07
i do hide things but it not related to my behaviour it is related to my personal life ....i dont want to trouble my dad with my problem i am old enough to tackle the situation and i might do it till i die cos i want my dad to have a picture of me being very happy and i dont want to change it since he is happy i am also happy.................
@3lilangels (4639)
• United States
23 Aug 07
the only time i did that was like 10 years ago when i got my first tattoo on my ankel i was like 23 then.i hid it from my parents for about 6 months.i even went out side to lay in the sun and there i was with a bikini on and socks.it was too funny.so i just said to myself what am i doing this is ridicoulous.so i showed them and believe it or not they didnt have a problem with it.we look back at laugh about it now.now i have 4 more lol.but i can hide them when i want to.
@kimthedane (1000)
• Denmark
23 Aug 07
No i do not, for that simple reason that they passed on to new adventures. I never did while they was here either tho, as they'd never played a big part in my life and i never saw them for the past 10 years while they were still here.