questions

United States
July 9, 2007 9:58pm CST
I had a little bit of a dissagreement with my fiance this evening. If a teenage girl or boy comes up to you, you know friends of your kids, and asks you a real important question like; "Can I get pregnant while on my period?", would you say, "I can't answer that, ask your parent" or would you as a responsible adult, give them a researched answer?? My fiance, seems to think it's not up to us to answer questions of that nature to someone elses kid. My theory is, if that child, teenager or whomever it may be that asks you any important question or even if you think it's not as important, they are asking you for a reason. I mean, maybe they aren't close to their parents. Or maybe, they just don't feel comfortable. I feel that it is my duty as a parent to answer any question asked of me because if I don't, that certain individual can seek answers through someone else who might not be as caring and might give them wrong facts and answers. As a parent, I believe in informing the person, not blowing them off without informationg. What do you think?? Would you get offended if your child goes to someone else with an important question like; "Can I get pregnant while on my period" or Something like, "Where can I get birth control pills". I mean, I might get upset because my child didn't ask me, but ultimately my concern is that my child gets the right answers and resources. Please comment.
1 person likes this
5 responses
• United States
12 Jul 07
Well I agree, I would be mad at the fact that my child didnt ask me. BUt i would most defineately tell any child the answer. Especially if its someone i cared about. I know its a touchy subject but what can you do. Not every child is comfortable about talking to their parents. Sometimes parents dont tell them all. Some say dont do it! Does your fiance talk to his child about these issues? How does he know that his child is comfortable talking to him about these things?
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jul 07
that's a good point, and he doesn't have a good communication with his own son! which makes me want to say-"don't butt in".. Thanx for the support
@kelly60 (4550)
• United States
10 Jul 07
I would hope that my teens would be able to come to me with these types of questions, but if not, I would rather that they got the answers from a responsible source. For this reason, I suppose that I would give them the answer. I might suggest though that it is something that they want to talk to their parents about, if I feel that there is a way to do this without losing their trust.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jul 07
yes indeed. and I made it clear that she should be comfortable going to her mom because she would definitely would want to know what's going on. Once I was told she wasn't confortable, I made sure I gave her all the help I could. It's hard, sometimes I feel like there's no right or wrong decision, sometimes I feel you're damn if you do, and damn if you don't. What I mean about that is, god forbid her mom finds out, she would probably get angry at the fact that I knew and didn't mention it to her, but how would I break my loyalty to the teenager in question... Too much too think of, but at that moment, I thought about the question and dealt with that...
• United States
12 Jul 07
As a mother of teens I have kids in my house all day long everyday. I have been asked these questions before by my daughters friends. I am glad that they feel they can come to me with these questions. I would rather they did get the info from their parents but I too remeber what it felt like to be 14-15-16, having questions and not being able to ask them in my house. Maybe if I had been given this information I would have avoided being a teen parent. Giving a child a correct answer, with information means that they are more equipt with information and you may have just helped them from making a mistake. Arming our teens with correct, useful knowledge will save them in the long run. As a parent if someone gives my kids information they desire or need I would be greatful. If it can't come from me at least they still have it.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jul 07
It depends. If it's information they're looking for, I'd give it (especially for an older child). If they want advice, I would be careful but might consider it. My advice is pretty conservative, though, so not likely to get me in trouble with parents. If they want help in getting birth control, an abortion, it crosses the line. I would expect my friends to do the same for my kids.
1 person likes this
@ravinskye (8245)
• United States
12 Jul 07
I agree with you. That is definetly something I could never have asked my mother. I would rather give the kid correct information than let them try to decide it on their own. or worse yet listen to their friends who might say "no you can't get pregnant on your period" then next thing you know you've got a pregnant teenager. I think I would let the parents know that the kids asked and tell them what i told them so that they then have the opportunity to talk to their own child about it also.
• United States
13 Jul 07
It's so nice to know that I wasn't the only one. I mean it was really hard for me, and to know others went through similar gives me al ittle comfort. I have to say, I think it's why I'm so open with my girls, I definitely wouldn't want them struggling. thank you.