Would you let your child help in decorating his room?

@snoopy04 (718)
United States
July 10, 2007 3:04pm CST
I am going to be helping a friend decorate her sons room but I feel like she is taking over and decorating it the way she wants it done not the way her would like it. He asked her if he could have his room decorated in cars items and have car curtains as well. Cars is his favorite movie and he really wants a cars room. He is four years old so I dont understand what the big deal is. My son is four and he wanted superheros and we did his room in supeerheros. Well she said no because that what the playroom is for. So his bedroom will be neutral and very blah. He is very upset so she is turning the playroom into a cars room but to him its not the same. So would you listen to what your child had to say or not. Its his bedroom not hers.
4 people like this
18 responses
@foxyfire33 (10017)
• United States
13 Jul 07
I would also allow the child to decorate how ever he wishes...but to a point. In this situation I actually feel so bad for that little boy! Four year olds are just so sweet and to tell him no to something like that is probably close to breaking his little heart. I personally think that her thinking is completely backwards. I would prefer to decorate the bedroom and leave the play room neutral. I think of a child's bedroom as being their very own personal space to do with what they like BUT a playroom is more like shared space that would be better if it was more neutral to fit everyone's tastes. Also with all the toys playrooms tend to look cluttered anyway and extra decoration makes it appear even more so. My own little four year old boy has been giving input on how he wants his room. I'm a little undecided because I'm worried it's a phase that will pass as soon as he starts school and is around other boys his age. See right now he idolizes his 7 year old sister. He has decided that he wants his bedroom to be pink and yellow and "pretty purple" with ponies and flowers. I'm not usually the kind of mom that gets too caught up in gender stereotypes but I think decorating his room like that might be a little too much. The problem is I also know he will be heartbroken if we don't do his room that way but at the same time school isn't that far away and I doubt we'll be able to redecorate his room for a few years if he wants to make it a traditional boy's room. I haven't figured it out yet but I'm thinking that if we paint it neutral and then give him what he wants with curtains and bedding it might be good enough for him and easier to change out later if he changes his mind.
2 people like this
@wilynn (754)
• Singapore
11 Jul 07
Sure. A kid should have a say in how he wants to decorate his room. After all, he's staying in this room ain't he. Furthermore, if he wants to help, its even better. This is good because he is working to beautify his room so that he can be happier whenever he returns to the room.
2 people like this
• Indonesia
11 Jul 07
Of course I would...it's her room,..where's she's going to sleep, or do whatever kids do nowadays,.If she's not comfortable with her room there's a possibility she's going to look for another place to do anything,,,that I don't want. Beside, allowing a child help to decorate their room or not shows a lot about how parents educate their children.
@ravinskye (8245)
• United States
10 Jul 07
I would completely let my daughter pick her room out. she is also 4. I've always let her decide stuff like that. She has a princess room now with all the disney princess stuff. We haven't painted anywhere yet because we just moved here a few months ago, but already we looked at paint cards at walmart and I let her pick out the cards with the colors she wanted.
@sunshine4 (8710)
• United States
10 Jul 07
We built a new home 2 yrs ago and I let all of my kids choose what they wanted their rooms to look like. They picked the color carpets and color for the walls. Then we went together and bought them comforter/sheet sets that they chose. Then the decorated the walls with thing that they liked. My daughters room has a purple carpet, light blue walls, stenciled flowers and butterflies on the wall in different colors. Then she has put alot of her own artwork on the wall also. Both of my boys have blue carpet and blue walls. One has his decorated with all Pittsburgh Steelers stuff and the other all movie/dvd stuff. They are their rooms so I think they should be able to decorate them by themselves.
2 people like this
@trk918 (255)
• United States
10 Jul 07
What does it hurt if you are not spending a lot of money redoing everything. My son has always loved balls/sports of all kinds. His room is done in sports. He decided at the age of 2 that he wanted sports sheets on his new big boy bed. At 7 he still loves it. She will have a much easier time getting him to be in his room if he likes it there. Expecially at bedtime. Just a few cars stickers on the wall would probably be enough for him.
2 people like this
@patgalca (13888)
• Orangeville, Ontario
11 Jul 07
How would the mother feel if her husband told her he wanted THEIR bedroom HIS way and she had no say? My kids always have input. Heck, they have input in the colours I chose for all the rooms in the house. We just decorated my 10 year old's room this spring. She is a real tomboy and wanted it black with planets that glow in the dark and stuff. I reminded her that she is almost 11 and her tastes are going to be changing very soon and we weren't prepared to decorate again for a few years. What we ended out doing is starting with the bedding. We were in the store and saw some bedding on sale and she loved it. She picked which colours she wanted for the rest of the room. There are actually 4 different shades of blue on the walls and ceiling. She even helped paint. She is thrilled with it. My husband wants to redo my 14 year old daughter's room. It was done several years ago and was an attempt at using a double roller with a different colour on each roller. It looks awful really. My husband wants to redo her room and she refuses. It's her room, her living space. She hangs things on the walls, she leaves clothes on the floor, it's her space. Let her do what she wants with it. How can a kid ever gain any confidence and respect if they are never permitted to give input? They will feel like their opinion doesn't count and will burst their self-esteem. The mother really has to LISTEN to her child. If she doesn't want to do the whole room they can discuss and compromise but she should listen to what he has to say.
1 person likes this
@snoopy04 (718)
• United States
11 Jul 07
I agree with you 100%. She should make a compromise so they will both be happy. She is a very demanding woman and is the one that wears the pants in the family. Her reasoning behind it was that his bedroom is only for sleeping and once he gets older for school work and she believes that there shouldnt be distractions in the bedroom. But come on he is only four years old. But their playroom is all decorated and has more toys than a toy store. But it hardley evers gets used.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (13888)
• Orangeville, Ontario
15 Jul 07
Thank you for the best response mark. :)
@archie20 (39)
• United States
11 Jul 07
Yes.I would listen to my kid and decorate the way he wants. He is going to spend the most time in the room and he shud have a say.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Jul 07
It is a wonderful idea to redecorate a house, or a room. But if the room belongs to your friend's son, it would be appropriate if the son decide on how he wants his room to look like. Your role is just to help him.
1 person likes this
@syndibee (799)
• United States
11 Jul 07
i also always allowed my children to help decorate their own rooms. every time we moved to a new place they put in their requests and we did the best we could with the money available. some people have a hard time relinquishing control of their house to family members and that i can't understand. it's only walls and a floor and ceiling to me, they will change over the years and it's rather exciting to watch a child develop their own taste in style. my son did request black at one point and we wouldn't let him have that. we told him any other color would be fine so he settled for a neon green, his room looked fabulous after it was done, i was so surprised and he was very pleased.
1 person likes this
@icequeen (2843)
• Canada
10 Jul 07
Yes...we used to decorate for our son too. I think when they are that young it is fun to give them what they want...they are only young once. Now my son is a teenager and we will be re-doing his room...and of course we want his input...
1 person likes this
@lbp1961 (45)
• Canada
10 Jul 07
Yes, I have always let my kids choose the decoration of their room. It is the best way to let their imagination roam. And it gives them initiative and choice. Maybe your friends doesn't approve of the marketing done by the movie industry?
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
10 Jul 07
Not only did I let my kids decorate as they chose from a very young age, I also let them help me decorate the rest of the house. It was not always to my liking but it was temporary and made them feel it was their home as well...it is... they took much more pride in helping later on.
1 person likes this
@Feona1962 (7529)
• United States
10 Jul 07
There is no reason that he can't choose what he wants for his room..this will be his personal space and he should be the one to decide...What he chose is very nice for children..My grandsons love the car movie and all that goes with it..She doesn't seem to be thinking about her son...my grandsons have spiderman curtains and such..She needs to rethink this....
@carolscash (9504)
• United States
19 Jul 08
Yes, I let me daughter help decorate her room. She wanted it done in Care Bears and that is what we done. I didn't spend a lot of money as we made puzzles into pictures and we found some decorations at yard sales. We didn't have to paint so it was a fairly easy change. She is looking to do something different now as she is getting a little too old for Care Bears. I painted my oldest daughters' room purple one year and she loved it. I done it while she was gone for the summer and surprised her with it. She had always wanted it done in purple so we did. It was pretty and I was glad that we done it.
@eagle_f15 (2054)
• Malaysia
24 Apr 08
Only on one condition my child/children will be allowed to decorate his/her own room that is the room must be kept clean, neat and tidy at all times and as long as the room is not painted black or any dark colors. Other than this its ok. Even if they want to draw a grafitti on the wall it's okay.....cool to have an extraordinary self designed room. Condition is neat, clean and tidy at all times.
@insite (55)
18 Sep 07
I think this story is a little sad. Everyone needs a place where they can be themselves after all what is a little paint and time. Is your friend planning to sell her house? If so 99% of the time the new owners will repaint.
@JoyfulOne (6243)
• United States
16 Jul 07
Oh absolutely! When it's the childs room they should have a say in how it's decorated. When my girls were little, one of them wanted a bright bubble-gum pink room. I cringed at the paint she picked out at the store, but went ahead and painted it for her. She was so proud of her choice (even if it wouldn't have been my choice, she is the one who has to stay in that room.) My grandson (4) wants a train theme because he loves trains so much. His parents are letting him have input into it all. Even at that young age they know what they like, and if they like it they will be more willing to take care of it. How will they learn to trust their own judgement if they are not allowed to make choices over the little things?!