How to stay Married?

@rdougl (469)
United States
July 12, 2007 5:41pm CST
I've been happily married for 7 years. I absolutely love my wife. Everything seems fine. But when I look at the ever growing divorce rate I start to get a bit scared. I would hate to lose my wife. Especially over some trivial misunderstanding. What can I do to keep the love flowing and to ensure they we are together for years to come? What works for you?
3 people like this
16 responses
@sahm35 (890)
• United States
12 Jul 07
As long as you keep showing her how much you love her and LISTEN to her, you guys will probably be okay. Learn to lean on God and pray together a lot more. I am sure that she worries about the same thing. She has probably gained weight and worries if she is still as attractive as she once was to you. I am pregnant and looking like a beach ball has permanently attached itself to the front of all of my shirts! I rarely wear pants because it hurts my belly. So I walk around in shirts and underwear! LOL It hurts to bend over to pick up stuff off of the floor. I am sleepy majority of the time, and bored senseless from being at home. I miss going off to work just for some adult conversation. I feel like my mind is going to mush. I want to get back into school but there is the money issue. I tried to find a job but the job market in this area is kind of tight. I went on a couple of interviews but none of them panned out for me. I wonder sometimes if he wishes that I would work to help our with bills. But like I said I am now pregnant and we have a five year daughter that is getting ready for kindergarten. I was such a mysterious feminist when we were dating and now I am boring housewife! Do you think that my husband will continue to love me?
1 person likes this
@ibuemma (2953)
• United States
13 Jul 07
first is love. But it should follow with understanding. Understand that nobody perfect, incuding me and him. November gonna be our 8 yrs anniversary. And communication is very important. How we gonna keep the love flows if there's no communication.
@ibuemma (2953)
• United States
13 Jul 07
BTW, erase the "divorce" word from your marriage dictionary..LOL
• United States
13 Jul 07
You're already on the right track. People tend to get to comfortable with the thought of "oh, they'll never leave me" and start slacking of. Show her compassion and understanding. Communication is the key to any good relationship. Try to be helpful but not overbearing. Women love it when their man helps with the chores. I'm not saying you don't help as you may already do this. My man helps when he can. Be open. It makes me feel even closer to my partner when he shares his personal feelings with me. A lot of men tend to hide their inner feelings. Good luck to you and I wish you many happy years to come.
@34momma (13882)
• United States
13 Jul 07
i think the only way to keep any relationship strong is being honest with them and yourself. being loyal, trusting, trustworthy, happy, silly, funny, being able to talk about anything, no judgmental. make that person your very best friend and have lives outside of the relationship. have shared interests and interest of your very own. no in your heart that your spouse is always out doing the best for the relationship. don't point fingers at each other. just love each other all the time, even when you don't like each other at the moment
@chaime (1152)
• Philippines
13 Jul 07
I too am happily married for 6 1/2 years and I don't want to lose my husband. I think the best way to keep the love alive is to always keep the communication lines open, talk to each other. Have alone times together, which is hard when you got kids. Act as if you're still boyfriend/girlfriend. Give simple gifts for each other, from a candy bar to an elaborate dinner. Don't ever let a day pass without you saying those 3 magic words. Give in to each other's whims once in a while. and most importantly let your partner be the best person she can be.
@dbhattji (2506)
• India
26 Jul 07
I have been married more 21 years and it has been a very happy marriage, the main thing in any relationship is understanding and respect for each other and willingness to give in, In any argument it is better to let go and discuss the problem later on when both have had time to think over it - after a few days the same problem seems very trivial to fight over.
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
13 Jul 07
well, i believe strongly that the foundation of every marriage is God... as long as God becomes the head of our family and we keep our commitment to each other, there is no reason at all for us to be scared of losing our spouse... keep the love going by doing simple things like what you had been doing when you are still dating with your wife... keep on praying everyday to God for the commitment... whether a marriage will work out or not is entirely depend on the parties that going through it... good luck and God Bless you...
@pinkypop (662)
• Philippines
13 Jul 07
Hello there. I'm married for a year now and I can say that our marriage is fine with its ups and downs but still happy. What I can advise you is to keep your communication line with your wife always open. No secrets should be left untold. And simple phrases means a lot ........ i guarantee you.
@fengbo (731)
• China
13 Jul 07
Hi rdougl,please don't worry,i think as long as you keep a good relationship with your spouse,the love is very important,pay more attention on your family,i think your child also can give you the most power,i think you creat romantic whey you and your spouse feel boring,and try you all care to her..... I think it is worth while me to think,i have been 22now, i think i must consider my marriage......I think it full of surprise,happy,sadness and challenge.i must do my best.It's my all life...
@HighReed1 (1126)
• United States
13 Jul 07
I'm glad you have been married for that long. It seems that you are over the hard part. The first 5 years of our marriage were...eek (shudders). We have been married for 22 years. I would suggest... Don't take her for granted. Let her know she is appreciated. Let her know she still turns you on. Never go to bed without saying 'I love you'. Give her a kiss several times a day. Help her out with chores now and then. Without being asked. Do things together. We fish and play in the water. Don't get so paranoid about losing her that you start acting weird. Hope this helps. :)
@DanaMark (807)
• United States
13 Jul 07
I think quality communication is the most important part of a good relationship. My wife and I have been married for 38 years, and we still have a lot of fun together. We have found that we talk a lot when we are driving, and when we go out to eat together. For some reason that just sparks conversation for us. I would suggest that you take note of the times you have the best conversation and intentionally make more of those times possible. Talk about important issues, or fun things, or anything that comes to mind. Just be sure you are listening to her and respond so she knows you are listening. Do what you can to make her continue to feel important in your life. Don't worry about the divorce statistics. If you are in love, there is nothing that can change that if you both want that to continue. Good luck for a long, happy, and loving marriage.
@fenela02 (30)
• Philippines
13 Jul 07
I can say your a loving husband there but dont worry. A few tips from a wife like me..try to appreciate her in every way. Try not to go to bed mad at each other.In other words never take communication for granted cause women like to talk about their feelings..And always make her feel beautiful. We all need to be assured by our husband:)
• United States
13 Jul 07
To lighten the responses a little...I've been married for 19 years, and my parents for 51 years. I've asked them COUNTLESS times and the answer is always the same! "SEPARATE BATHROOMS"!!!!! :)
• Sri Lanka
13 Jul 07
Dude. i am not married yet but if u can get some thing from me i will be happy. First just spend some time with your wife. atleast take the dinner together. go on a vacation atleast once in six months. If any thing going misunderstanding just talk to her and lisitne to her till she finish her oppinion and then explain her. Buy some thing special and give here a present. but u got to do it in a diffrent style. some thing romantic and in a beautiful place in a special occation. Make her feel that she is the only world you have and she is the only person you love. make her feel like that if it happens she will feel the same on you. Hope u will get some thing from me. wish you all the best on your family life. i'll pray for you family relationship.
• Kottayam, India
12 Jul 07
Love is most important, if there is love,self respect, understanding their feelings, satisfy their desires are very important,at last not the least please pray together.
• United States
13 Jul 07
I've been happily married for 7 years as well. I know how you feel. I get scared as well, because although it seems as if we should be past the point of divorcing over something trivial, I look at the divorce rate and it's astronomical. To stay happy my husband and I make sure we have a little bit of time together every day. Usually we curl up on the couch together watching a movie. We try to do something as a family every week. Usually we drive to one of the free tourist attractions in our area, to save on money. The last thing we try to do is thank each other for the small things, and to make sure we know the other knows how much we appreciate him. It seems to be working so far. I pray that it continues. What do you do to stay happy, rdougl?