My daughter is acting like a spoiled brat

@agnescav (566)
United States
July 13, 2007 6:58pm CST
My granddaughter is 21/2. My daughter was acting like a spoiled brat and didn't bother with me for about ten months. Now her husband is out of jail and I guess she doesn't want him to get temp custody or anything like that. He lives with his parents. So she has showed up again, but just to have a babysitter. That's okay for now because I really don't feel like fighting with her. Anyway, she is basically a good little kid but my daughter doesn't send her anything to play with. I am not buying her toys. She ain't my kid. I would love to spoil her but I don't want to have lots of toys laying around in case my daughter acts like an idiot again. (You know this is over a guy) I had her from Monday night to Thursday night. On Tuesday, she broke the space bar off my computer. I can't blame her for playing with it. she didn't have anything to do. But I am so mad at my daughter because her little girl has such a lovely vocabulary. Pretty little two year old girls should not scream 4 syllable curses that begin with M!
3 responses
• Philippines
18 Jul 07
well for me its healthy for grandparents to have kids around them. Dont you find any traits from her similar to your daughter? or even you? try to discover what you grand daughter's interestsd or talents and surely its going to be a lot fun. they say a children can ease the stress of life just by a mere smile from them.
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@agnescav (566)
• United States
18 Jul 07
I love having my granddaughter around, she's here now. But there are things that bother me and they are more to do with her mother, my daughter. If I sent my kid away for three days, I would send something for her to do for a little while. A few blocks, big crayons and paper, something. Also, there was that lovely word. Today she has been hitting me. This is new. She is very bossy(which I think is cute but would never let her know that). But my oldest daughter was 14 months when she got a sister and my granddaughter is an only child. My kids played with each other and did not need the 100%of the time my granddaughter does. Whenever I tell my father a story about her, he asks who does that remind you of and I tell him the same thing everytime. Nobody....she is just herself!
• Canada
14 Jul 07
I think that 'toys' are over-rated! Perhaps this is a perfect opportunity for you to bond well with your grand-daughter, spend time with her (PLAYING), and teaching her a different vocabulary. If she is having more fun with Grandma and hears good words with Grandma, she might opt to use the words she uses at Grandma's house more often. She doesn't need a bunch of toys, anyway. You probably have a whole TON OF STUFF around your house that your grand-daughter can play with. You don't have to go out and buy a whole ton of toys. You can make or find some at home. Do you have a few cleaned, empty and assorted sized margarine, cottage cheese, sour cream containers and stuff like that? Some plastic cups that you don't mind her putting in a 'toy area' from now on that will be 'hers'? Some colourful scares that you can't believe you bought 'cos they're so flashy you're afraid to wear them outside of the house? An extra little handbag, totebag to put the scarves in? (She can play 'dress up' or 'going shopping' - but should be supervised with the scarves). At your granddaughter's age, some kids feel that 'having' some toys is more important than what the toys are, because they're learning about 'sharing,' 'ownership,' 'belonging,' and boundaries. Just so that your grandchild doesn't start to think that EVERYTHING in Grandma's house is open and available to her (like YOUR KEYBOARD), can you work on teaching her that almost everything is off limits to little hands, EXCEPT certain items that you show her to be 'hers'? And then can you designate a small area that is 'kid friendly' and let her know that what is in this area is hers? If you do this, although it means some heavy restrictions, it also gives your granddaughter a 'space of her own.' If you sometimes don't have time to fully supervise, you can always say, "Grandma is a little busy right now, but you know you're not supposed to play with the keyboard. There are things for you to play with in 'Your Space' so try those." Maybe if your daughter ever DOES bring a few toys along, you can tell her that you're keeping those ones at your house (so that YOU don't have to buy toys). Keep them in a small area so they're not all over the place. You probably won't need many toys at all if you're sitting down with your granddaughter, playing with her, anyway. Just a few ideas - that shouldn't cost any money or too much hassle.
• Canada
14 Jul 07
Sorry about the 'colourful scares' typo haha - it should be scarves! I realize I didn't comment on your daughter - because it seems that you've already allowed her to bring the grandchild to your home repeatedly. I thought some ideas about dealing with the child's behaviors would be more helpful. It's probably pretty obvious and you don't need any encouragement to know that you'll need to make some decisions about your daughter - and how she uses you as a babysitter. Your granddaughter is lucky though - because at least you are paying attention to her - while her mother runs around elsewhere. It's good that you realize that it's not your granddaughter's fault that her mom isn't behaving well and that you've agreed to look after the little girl and treat her well if she's not getting sound treatment at home.
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@agnescav (566)
• United States
14 Jul 07
i don't keep anything around. I like no clutter because once I start saving things I won't know where to stop. I recently moved but it occured to me today to find out where the nearest playground is.
@Feona1962 (7527)
• United States
14 Jul 07
How old is your daughter?..Sounds like she needs some rules laid down..She is the mother and if she is not working while you are taking care of your granddaughter then it is her responsibility to take care of her..She is a mother now and needs to act like one..She can't expect you to be there 24/7..I can understand that you do not want to fight with her, but if you do not lay down some rules then she will continue to walk all over you..She also needs to be careful about what she says in front of the little one..The words I believe you are trying to say are the most vulgar words I have heard...She needs to grow up and do her job as a mother..It was her choice to be with the father of the child and now she needs to face the facts and work something out..I am only trying to help..I hope I wasn't rude...
@agnescav (566)
• United States
14 Jul 07
She is working She doesn't live with me. And I wanted to take her daughter on a little trip to see another daughter who lives at a shore point. She is 22. I was flabbergasted when she said that. In fact I thought about asking her to move i but I changed my mind. I am done letting her use me as a babysitter. I miss the kid I raised, don't know what happened to her but I miss her kid too. and would rather spend a few hours a week with Aury than fight with her mother. I just moved and I already told her her boyfriend is not welcome in my house And I agree Her daughter is usually very well behaved but I don't think her boyfriend should babysit her(He has been known to be neglectful)and Neither should his children. If she swore off men until her daughter was in kindergarten I would get along with her. And whoever is talking like that around her needs to stop. Aury was so happy saying beach. I think she thinks she was getting away with saying a naughty word And yes it is the most vulgar word in the world. I'm glad she didn't say it outside. I was the only one who heard it. Time-out....See, I can't be a grandma who spoils her.
@Feona1962 (7527)
• United States
14 Jul 07
She seems to have alot of things to sort out..She is still very young, but that is no excuse..I agree that the father should not babysit..I would worry about her safety..I am glad that she is working..sometimes it can be so hard to get them to understand us..my daughter is 24 and the mother of 2 boys..She is very independent..I will pray for you.
1 person likes this