what does life made you after all? part 2

Philippines
July 14, 2007 1:33am CST
life had been tough on me ever sice i met the world..dad once said, i will be no far better than what he expects me to be..i will just end up to be like my mother whom he says was nothing of a good thing..but i proved him wrong..i stood up without help from others..i told him someday..you will eat what you said and you will look up on me and beg on your knees to seek frogivenes i told him.. becasue of this, i lean to be samrt and wise enough to deal with people..i hardly trust anyone else except myself and would not listen to anyone but my own voice..i treat each day as a challenge and i treat every people as my critics..i felt competitive and that i learn to defense myself and my family..every word that has been said was like poeple are attacking me..i should be careful and tough because they might attack me anytime..i see everything as a negative signs and that i thought of things negatively..people would rant some help for me but i refuse because i got my pride to look after at..i was paranoid with pride, i thought without pride i am dead by now.. after 7 years, it all happened like a miracle..he approach on me and ask for forgiveness..i was hesitant..should i take the sorry and him admitting his faults over me or should i fail him and say..i didnt need him for longest of time and i still dont need him till now..and for the rest of my life..but ofcourse i found the forgiving heart after months of hi sincerity of his sorry.. now i feel sorry for myself now that i realize that pride and anger had eaten me so bad that it controlled my being..it was hard to seek help and i felt like i was right to think that i;m assuming the right thing..even with the person that i have loved so much of life..i easily say things that i dont mean..things that willsurely break every ones heart..i had made myself powerful only got me to believe i was..i dont want anyone to get ahead of me..i became so selfish and greedy with attention and seeks too much to get opinionated.. i dont know myself anymore..i am not this person i was not so long agao..but i seem to be someones torn now..specially the person that i treat as the most important thing much important than my life and being.. i dont know how did it happen..it just happen without noticing the years had pass by.. what does life had made you after all?
2 people like this
3 responses
@richiem (3646)
• Philippines
2 Jul 08
I guess life made me a person who doesn't react to much to things. But sometimes I am finding it hard to discern which things I should react to and which things I should not. I know I should not react too much to trivial things. But sometimes I don't know which things are trivial and which things are the most important. When that happens, I find myself in trouble. Especially when it involves my girlfriend, she would say I do not appreciate her anymore. I try to react more right now. I guess mylot is helping me do it.
2 people like this
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
thank you for responding in this posts..
2 people like this
@richiem (3646)
• Philippines
1 Aug 08
thanks for the best response!
• United States
4 Jul 08
First of all if my parents would of not adopted me i seriously think i would not be here on earth or as far as i have gotten in life. I thank God everyday that my parents had the guts enough to take me and my two older sisters in and adopt us all together instead of letting courts separate us. I have me my birth parents and they have not changed they are still doing things that made the cops take us away and it has been almost 30yrs. I have never understood this but i guess i never will. I will never for give them for choose the lifestyle they did over there own kids. I truely hate them because they put us three kids thru so much pain. Now i am married and happy with three children of my own and working my way to college for the third time. Nobody in my family thought i would go but i have proved all of them wrong. I have to associate degrees. My mom and dad keep telling me that there are so proud of me. I am just glad i was able to be placed with such a loving mother and father.
1 person likes this
@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
4 Jul 08
My childhood made me learn to be cautious and as i got older i learned to temper that caution with trust.
1 person likes this