Update on ME...

United States
July 17, 2007 11:07pm CST
Many of you know about the recent death of my mother and some of you have been such a heaven sent blessing...I went to the doctor today...I know now that not going to see her was a part of my denial.... You see, I am blessed with a wonderful physician, she is not only an intelliegent, professional doctor..she is my friend...I trust her...which is hard to do for me...I was able to talk to her and tell her how I have been feeling..I was able to share with her those deep ugly thoughts that you do not want to admit that you are having...she sat beside me and cried right along with me...she has met my Mom several times and knows the relationship that we shared...she gave me a shot and it helped to calm down somewhat for awhile anyway...I know it won't last..but for this second in time...I feel almost like me...she also prescribed me a new medication that I will begin taking tonight...I hope that I will be able to at least sleep since that has been extremely diffcult for the past 2 weeks... I have also joined an online support group that I think may prove to benefit me tremendously.in time... I will be back as I am able...I trust that each of you can empathize with me and I trust that you are doing well...feel free to PM me, my friends, if you want to talk as I am missing so many discussions right now....I apologise to all of you for my neglect but it is not out of malice....I miss ya'll and hope to be back soon.. Tina
6 people like this
18 responses
@sunkissed (4332)
• United States
11 Dec 07
Tina, I am very sorry about your mother passing, and what you are going throgh right now. I know how you fell.You take all the time that you need. I have not been on mylot in months so I did not even know about this. God bless you.
@avonrep1 (1862)
• United States
19 Jul 07
Tina, you are on just another of lifes journey's some of those of tough and are so unfair, and others are so fun and filled with joy. You go where you need to go and do what you need to do, that is what life is about. Things happen for a reason and the reason you wrote this, is all apart of that. I hope you start feeling well soon and know that you have friends here if you need us. I even believe that I found this post for that same reason. It is hard for me to go see a doctor, and then having a doctor send you here and there for testing, it is very scary for me and I go into full blown panic attacks if I am there too long. I have longed to find a doctor like you discribe. But one who understands my phobia and can work with it. (like getting me in and out of the office quickly with-in 30 mins, for some reason I can only seem to control it for about that.) I want to be able not to have a panic attack when in medical facilities, because I know that it doesn't make any sense. When my child was in the hositpal, they must have thought I was nuts, I went out side in 5 degree weather with wind chill -15 every 25 or 30 minutes. Thankfully I have a loving husband who understands. I don't feel I can tell doctors why it is so hard for me when I am in places like that. They would admit me into the nut floor of the hositpals.
@charms88 (7541)
• Philippines
19 Jul 07
Oh tinam, I'm lost. I didn't know about your mother. I was waylaid last week due to a problem with my account here. But that's history now. I'm sorry to hear about your mother though. I can understand the feeling of losing a mother. I lost mine 17 years ago. My thoughts and prayers will be with you.
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
18 Jul 07
Hugs!! I'm sure I speak for all when i say that no appology is needed or expected. You just lost your mom! I don't know your relationship but I do know that losing a parent is hard regardless of whether or not you were close. I somehow suspect it is worse if you were not close. You have my deepest sympathies.
@babyangie27 (5177)
• United States
18 Jul 07
I am glad you talked with someone you trusted and a professinal at that. I will continue to pray for you to get through this grieving process. It is not easy and it will be painful. I know you know your friends and family are always here for you. Take as long as you need,some people push themselves through something like this and it comes back 10 times harder. Be blessed my friend,I miss you and I pray for you.
@gardengrrl (1445)
• United States
18 Jul 07
Hi, Tina! Deepest sympathy to you and your family for your recent loss. I hope you will be able to work through your feelings and find peace. Your friends at myLot will be here for you, any time you need them. Hang in there, and don't forget to find a minute or two each day to be good to you!
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
18 Jul 07
I miss having you around here as often as you were. But the most important thing right now is that you take all the time you need to heal yourself. I am so glad your friend/physician was available for you. Take care, sweet Tina and please know that you can PM me anytime. (((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))!
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
18 Jul 07
It is understandable that u are bnot online as much anymore. Concentrate on feeling better instead and return with alot of more motivation. We will still be here waiting.
@34momma (13895)
• United States
18 Jul 07
Tina you take your time and get yourself together. don't you worry, it will happen in time. i think i told you i too lost my mother and father just 20 days apart. so i know what you are going through. it is not easy, but you will learn to deal with it one day at a time. be blessed and take care
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
18 Jul 07
Sweetie I am glad that your Doctor has been able to help you and I hope she will carry on helping you You have my Email Address now so when you need me shout As for not being here much stop worrying I think everyone should understand that and if they don't well tough Most important thing is that you get better Love and Hugs
• United States
18 Jul 07
We miss ya too. take your time getting back.I know how hard it is losing a mother. I am glad to hear you are on a road to recovery.I will be keeping you in my prayers
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
18 Jul 07
hi tina... i am so sorry to hear what you have to go through... i know it is very hard for you to lose a person that you love so much and very close to you... i will pray for you... and we are all here for you... don't hesitate to share your feelings with us and ask for help when you need one... take care and God Bless you...
@golfproo (1841)
• Canada
18 Jul 07
Hi Tina, Our thoughts and prayers are with you. I am glad to hear that you have joined a support group as I too have found that to be very helpful. Do not worry about anything here...just take care of yourself and do what you need to do. cheers,
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
18 Jul 07
Firstly thank you so much for the online group link, it has been very very useful indeed I can use it as an online blog too so that I can 'record' daily my feelings. I do keep a written diary too, but I hope sometime soon people will read and it may help them too! Secondly you are sooooo lucky to have such an understanding doctor, mine have given me so much grief and they are like coldfish. That's another reason why I want to escape this area. I was so fortunate where I used to live to have a lovely man who shook my hand everytime I saw him both at the start and finish, sadly good friendly warm doctors with compassion are very few my good friend. Have a good day xxxx
@lexus54 (3576)
• Singapore
18 Jul 07
My dear friend Tina, I don't know what else to say to you apart from all I've penned these past few weeks. I sense the pain and sorrow you are still struggling with. Just want to say again that we are all here for you, and you will constantly be in our thoughts and prayers as you seek solace and healing for the pain you bear. I'm grateful that you have been able to reach out to other support channels, and I know that God understands your heart, and has placed them there to lend their support to you. When you feel like you are ready to come back, we will still be here, always looking out for you and waiting to welcome you back with our open arms. Take care...God will touch you when you seek Him.
@Anniedup (3652)
• Richards Bay, South Africa
18 Jul 07
Hello my dear friend, I'm so glad you joined a support group. I think it will still take a while, don't rush things. She was part of your life for soooo long. You are allowed to mourn her as long as you want to, even if it hurts, it is part of the healing process. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Keep well and let us know how it is going with you from time to time. God Bless. xx
• United States
18 Jul 07
Oh Tina...I cannot begin to even imagine what you must be going through. I will say a special prayer for you tonight. I'm glad you are able to talk about this and have found outlets and supportive people to do that with. It's important for your healing process and I'm sure you're well aware of that. As the saying goes...time heals wounds. Some may take longer than others but it will get better with time. I hope you will continue to find the strength and courage you are looking for to look forward and move on in life.
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
18 Jul 07
*HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS* Take care my friend and take all the time you need. We are here if you need us for anything Tina :):)